We had to put my black lab, sammy, down on saturday. She was about 9.5 years old and she was my best friend. My golden retriever, Misty, died suddenly 14 months ago from hemangiosarcoma.

Sammy lived a somewhat healthy but very lonely life with the absence of Misty (they were together for 8 years)

About 2-3 months ago sammy developed a severe case of mastitis, thats what the vet called it, but I think it was a cancerous tumor from the beginning. She was put on a few different meds and we brought her home.

She developed the same symptoms again about 2-3 weeks ago, and also had a tumor on her side that was growing very rapidly.

Over her final week, she was getting very weak, started to have bad diarrhea, and was not eating very well, we brought her into the vets office on saturday and with the advise of the vet we decided it was time to put her down.

I am killing myself over her passing, she lived at my parents house 2 miles away from my house, I tried to get over there as much as I could, but just got too busy most of the time. I read alot of people talking about their black labs living 13+ years, and I know if I didnt neglect sammy of exercise she could have been healthy for a couple more years.

I keep getting the feelings that I didnt spend enough time with her, I didnt take her out enough, I fed her unhealthy food at times..... these thoughts are tearing me up inside, her absolute favorite place in the world was swimming in the river, and I didnt even take her there for the last year of her life.

I feel like I have let down my dearest friend, and I would do anything to have one more day with her.

Thank you for reading this...

Hi Wes,
You have my deepest sympathies on the loss of your Sammy. I know you "understand" grief after losing your Misty last year, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept.
So many wise words have been written on this site, as you know, that will help after the intial grief. Please know that I am not a wordy person but I truly feel for you.

Take care Velma

These thoughts are natural, we all try in some way or another to punish ourselves for not being perfect, still havent sussed out why yet though, maybe its because they are so purfect.

When your having these thoughts try to change them to ' its ok to grieve because i love Sammy'

Have a little memorial of some kind, it does help to get some closure while honouring their perfect loving lives.

MY husband and i scattered their ashes by a stream where we used to walk them.

Love Sue

I'm so sorry for your loss!

For some reason, guilt is a part of grief. But what matters most is that you loved Sammy. She knew (and knows) that.

We're human and can't be perfect and do all the right things. If we did all the right things, we definitely wouldn't be human!

Your Sammy is with Misty now and you'll all be reunited when it's your time.

Let us know how you're doing.

Love,

Kathy

Velma, Sue and Kathy, Thank you so much for your kind words. People like you 3 are the reason I came back to lightning strike when Sammy passed.

The guilt phase is horrible, feels like you just want to die sometimes, I am now through that stage and can now remember the fun times I had with my 2 great dogs.

We had both dogs cremated, and Mistys remains have been in an urn with a little memorial on the living room shelf, now that they are both gone, we are planning on burying them in the backyard sometime this week.

We thought about sprinkling their ashes at the river which they loved so much, but I just feel like I would rather have them close to home, in a way feeling like they are still here .

Thanks again for your kind words.

Wes