I am so glad I found this site. I am so lost right now.

My beloved Omar, 12 year old Border Collie mix was put to sleep on Wed, 4/26.
Last weekend, he started showing deterioration. He lost movement in his hind legs. When I took him to the vet, the vet still had hope, doing all the blood tests to check for serious disease and nothing really came up. Then on Wed evening, he had a serious seizure, losing control over the left side of his body, eyes rolling back in his head. I was horrified, knowing deep in my gut I wouldn't have much time with him. When I rushed him to the vet, she still had hope that maybe the seizure was an isolated incident. She gave me options, yet I knew in my heart it was it. She said, she would have waited a day to see what, if any progress would be made, but I told her to proceed with putting his dear soul to rest. Although I couldn't help but think, maybe just one more day, WOULD be worth waiting. Then I had the grueling task of going thru the rest of my life thinking, "What if I had just waited one more day like the vet suggested?

I still insisted to take him out of more misery to come. So I had to wait for my friend to get to the vet to help me through this process I couldn't go thru alone. I need to mention that the vet was closed when I called hysterically for help. They kept their shop open from 6-9pm for Omar. They were angels.

In a matter of an hour, he had two more seizures. Horrible horrible seizures. Vet said that it was Omar's final gift to me, letting me know that I wasn't making the wrong decision by letting him go. It was his way of telling me "it's time" and it wouldn't get any better.

While he was on valium, to give him some comfort...the vet, technician and my friends were on the floor with him. Telling him wonderful little being he was on this earth. My little Omar was such a remarkable dog. He took care of me when I was sick, (working dog), was there in death, sickness and heartbreak, helped my dying mother in her last months by bringing her comfort...always taking care of everyone else, including my other dog, a Husky. I also talked to friends after who told me of stories of how he helped them as well, they sobbed on the phone. I couldn't believe that this little dog had such a huge impact on so many other's lives.

I always told him "rest your bones Omar, rest your bones". He wouldn't sit down, always following me, making sure I was okay. Even the weekend before, when he couldn't walk he still tried his best to follow me, all the while wagging his precious tail.

My house is no longer the same, and my life will no longer be the same. I spent more time with him than I did any other being, human or not, for the last 10 years. I feel like my child is gone and I will always grieve for him and the love he showed me uncondionally.

All I could say in the end, when I was on the floor with him was "rest your bones dear friend, rest your bones".

My heart breaks for you and I know how you're feeing. We put our baby girl Morgan to sleep on Wednesday as well and I haven't felt right since. The house is empty and so is my heart.
Morgan was diagnosed with kidney failure this time last year and has been on one medication and subQ fluid treatments 2-3 times per week. When she started to fight taking the meds, we stopped them...when the fluid treatments started to bother her, we cut back. It was hard to know when the time was right to let her go, but I have to believe we made the right decision at the right time. We know our pets better than anyone else and we just have to trust ourselves.

My thoughts are with you. Our lives will never be the same but we were so blessed to have the extraordinary pets we did.

Pam

I'm so sorry for you loss. He sounds like he was a wonderful, beautiful creature. You were lucky to have him. And I'm sure he felt lucky to have you too. It's so hard to lose your companion. We lost our 7 1/2 year old 9 weeks ago and I think I miss him more every day. I too still question if I put him down too soon - maybe they could have done something else to give him (really, me) more time. But I couldn't stand to see him suffer. I know in my heart it was the right thing for him, but I just wish I had even one more hour with him.

i just wanted you to know how sorry i am you lost your little angel. these beautiful creatures are such a wonderful part of our lives, it is so heartbreaking when they have to pass over. i also had to have my special little one, mocha, put to sleep. it was in march but sometimes still feels like it was yesterday. i ripped myself apart with the "what-if's" and although i know it is really hard, try not to do that to yourself. you made your decision from pure love and that can never be wrong. you only wanted to spare your special baby more pain and suffering. what a difficult, courageous and compassionate thing to do. try to be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. take all the time you need. Omar sounds like he was an incredible animal companion that gave comfort to so many. what a blessing he was and is. i truly believe that they are always with us. i am glad you found this site. the people here are wonderful and all understand the depth of such a terrible loss. we are here for you. take care of yourself.

Omar's parent,

My vet assured me that I was "absolutely" doing the right thing. My little Crystal did not have violent seizure as Omar, but she was suffering with seizures as well. Her's seizures were related to her poor heart that kept missing beats or stopping and causing her to lose consciousness. She was fighting a murmur, congestive heart failure, and kidney failure also. I knew it was time to let her go. Although, it was the hardest decision of your life or mine to do such a thing. It would only be selfish to allow our dearly loved fur babies to continue on in the condition they were in. We had to do what we did as the ultimate unselfish gift. It sounds, in your case, you truly had NO other choice.

There was guilt for me anyway. The biggest occomplishment of my first week of greiving was that I stopped blaming myself for taking her life. I made myself realize that she was not getting any better and there was nothing more I could have done to help her. (I had nursed her for 2 months feeding by syringe.) It was very plain and simple... it was just her time to go. That is actulally a huge step for the first week to shed the quilt. I pray that you find that in your first week.

Sweet Crystal has been gone 3 weeks now. It hasn't gotten easier. I have gone from the hysterics of the first week to only a couple of "melt downs" per day. I will tell you though, the emptiness in your heart will NEVER go away. Omar will always remain in your heart and you will feel your heart bleed from grief. The loneliness continues for me constantly. The longing to hold them, get kisses, or just to smell them once more will continue. Let yourself mourn as long as you need. I found that the only way I can sleep is to hold onto one of Crystal's toys all night. Since I told others at LS that, many have said they too do similar things for comfort.

It truly is like the loss of a child. You not only spend more time with your sweet furkid than any other human, you also have the unconditional love like a human child. In addition to that you have never ending dependence. Meaning, they never grow up and move away, or go to school and leave you alone all day, or learn to cook their own meals. A furchild always completely depends on you to take care of them. When they pass there is a huge void.

I know none of my words will make it any easier for you. I just wanted you to know that you were special to Omar and are yourself a very special person for being capable of feeling such a love. You were both lucky to have each other and Omar knows how deeply you continue to love him!

Keep coming to this site. You have many friends here that have experienced your kind of pain. I know I would never have made it without so many understanding people.

Crystal's Mom, Sonda

There is not much I can add to this but I want you to know we do understand the the awful pain you are feeling right now and the roller coster ride you are starting on. I many years ago too had to end my dog Sheba's suffering it is a very very hard and kind decission to make in time you will come to terms with that. My little Tillie who passed Jan 19th 2006 I did not have to make that choice she passed alone at the vet hospital without us and for me that has been hard to think of her maybe looking for me seeing strangers at her side but she just passed no help from them to this day I don't know what happened really.

Your last words to Omar were full of not only love but respect for him he passed in a wonderful way well... if there is a wonderful way I think in the arms of those he loves hearing your soft comforting words to him is wonderful. I only wish I had been given that time and choice.

Tillies mom

Thank you for sharing your story about Omar. I am so sorry for your loss. My husband and I have prepared all day for tomorrow. Tomorrow we will take my little guy, Highway, to the vet to be put to sleep. He is in chronic renal failure, blind and has been diabetic for 3 years. Yet, even as I write this, I am asking myself if the time is right? Have we done all that we can do? Fortunately, we have a wonderful vet who has helped us keep him going these past few years. My friend told me, "the dog will let you know." She was right.

Thank you for sharing your saying about "resting his bones," I will think of this tomorrow as he enjoys his Hersey bar and slips away.