Why did she have to go. She was only 8 months old. I waited for my little heart for 25 years. Now I'll be turning 26 without her. Not like I haven't lost pets before but I can't deal with this. Why must people drive so careless and fast. Why couldn't have been out there 3 min. earlier? I can't stop crying. I've never had a cat so loving, loyal,and cuddly as her. Peach's would sleep between me and my husband every night. Not by our feet but cuddled right up by our necks. I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE HER BACK. Please help I can't deal with this. How do I get her back.
Kristi-Lost in North Idaho
DAY 2: Things aren't any better. I hate waking up crying. I can't even stand being home. It's so uncomperhenable to me. I have 4 other critters 2 cats(distant not lovey) 2 dogs that have issues with due to: one being here when another dog killed peaches sister. Don't think she was involed she loves our fat cat. And my little wolf hybrid thats 17 weeks old that was just at the vet easter weekend because I accidently shot her with a bb gun.(could have swore she was in the house) 1,700 vet bill and paid 300 for her. But she dug up the already past away kitten. Now I have my angel still out side in a box. I'm lost I don't even know what to do with her. I can't stad the thought of putting her in the ground I almost would like to go get her and cuddle with her to go to sleep. I'd like to have her cremated so I could always have her. But who knows how much that is. And is it right? I almost want a part of her like her tail. But is that sick and wronge? I just don't know what to do but I know I have to do something soon. I hate life it's not fair. She didn't even get a year of life. She no longer follows me up and down the stairs or waits for me in my computer chair in "OUR" bedroom................. I'm so so sorry peaches!!! I never forget you, I've always needed you and always will. I'm Sorry!!!!Now what do I do with my angel?

Kristi,

My heart goes out to you. I was right where you are now....3 mos ago.
I lost my Kurby 1/31/06. He was only 4 1/2 yrs old. He was hit by a car about 5 mins before I got home from work. The car never stopped. I was the one who found him lying by the mailbox when I pulled in the driveway. My husband had let him out to pee and wasn't watching him. Kurby was my "baby" as I had him 2 years before I met my husband. I was a zombie for a week. Then I yelled and screamed at my husband as I blame him for not watching Kurby. I begged God to give him back to me. I asked him to give him back so I could just hold him one more time and kiss his little nose. I shut down, I yelled, I cried. I didn't just lose my pet. I lost a part of me that I will never get back. I used to tell everyone "He's my child. I birthed him. He just has more hair than other kids."

We will never know why God chooses to bring our furbabies to heaven with him. I tell myself that my grandfather (who passed a year ago) needed Kurby to sleep with him at night and keep his feet warm. That brings me comfort. It doesn't take the hurt away. I think somedays that will never go away.

Come to this site daily and post your feelings. This is a great site and the people here know what you are going thru cuz we've been there. It has helped me greatly. The next few days will be especially hard for you. I know you can't see it now but the pain will ease.


Kurbysma

Things aren't much better today I'm greatful for your reply. I've delt with this before but never have I been so attached. I don't even understand how she could even be gone. It doesn't make since to me. But dealth never has and it's always been terrifiy to me. She always had been there when I needed her now she's not. Now I don't even know what to do with her.weird my fat cat is up here acting as if was peaches all of a sudden laying and loving where she would be. i wish er sprit went into him. but just a weird fluke. he's never like this. ? going to pretend its her. be back later. thanks. please reply more.
kristi

Hi,
My heart breaks for you. I just lost my Sophie cat 2 1/2 weeks ago
and she had been with me for 7 years. It is just like I lost my baby. You feel you will never be happy again. She had been my constant companion.
AFter we wrapped her in something of each of us we just left her on the
coffee table the next day. I held and loved that cold body that was
once my baby girl. At sunset we finally took her and buried her in the
backyard by a butterfy bush she l where she liked to sit and watch the butterflies.
My husband and I both feel guilty because that night he was so tired
from working out in the yard that he left the gates open to the backyard
and she had stayed in the front at times too. I have lived here 26 years and never had a cat killed by a dog. We had also left the garbage out on the carport instead of taking it to the road like we normally would. I
think the dogs were in the garbage because it had been strewn and saw her in the back and cornered her against the fence and she didn't have a
chance. I would have normally went to check when I heard a noise but was in the guest room in the back and though I heard a scream but
then thought well it was probably the TV..now I can't understand why I
didn't go immediately....I started to the laundry room and heard dogs and run out but it was too late. She was a huge cat but real over
weight and she didn't stand a chance but there wasn't a scratch on her
I think they broke her neck. She normally stayed in most of the time and had been asleep on the desk by the bed were my husband was sleeping. She love to lay there by him and he would rub her neck. But I had went out late to put out food for the squirrels and she came out and
was happily sitting on the deck and it was a pretty moonlight night. So
I left her she had a cat door to come back in. If I hadn't been so busy getting ready for guest I would have checked on her earlier. "WHY"
"What If"???
It is so normal to feel like you could have done something different
but try not to be too hard on yourself. I know in time I will be able to
stop going over the "what if" and move on and you will ,too. A normal
part of early grief but we don't want to get stuck there. In time we
will celebrate their life and the joy they brough to us. I haven't been
able to look at Sophie's picture yet. But in time I hope I can make a
scrapebook about her like I did for my 18 year old cat that died last
year. When I look back every Christmas he was in all the pictures.
Prayers for you,
Jan

Kristi,

You should have Peaches cremated. I had Kurby cremated and have his ashes in a little shadowbox on a wall surrounded by 8x10 pics of him. I cut a little piece of his fur and it's in a scrapbook I made with only pics of him. I also made a memorial watergarden outside under his fav tree. You aren't crazy for wanting to keep Peaches near you. I walked around with Kurby in my arms for 25 mins rubbing his little feet and crying. (He was still warm....) I didn't want to give him to my husband. He had to pry him out of my arms and he took him and buried him in our backyard. That night it was cold and rainy and I could not leave him outside so I made my husband dig him back up. (He was in a little box.) We took him to the vet the next morning and had him cremated. I'm not sure about other vets, but my vet charges by weight and I only paid $100. I feel more "at ease" knowing he is here in the house with me. (If that makes sense....) Everyone is different in their wishes for their furbabies. This was the choice for me.

Jan,

I'm so sorry for your loss. That was a horrible thing to happen.

"It is so normal to feel like you could have done something different
but try not to be too hard on yourself."

You are exactly right....I cant help but feel if I had gotten home 5 mins earlier that day, Kurby would have been at my feet and not at the road. I would have been watching him (as I never let him outside unsupervised) and he would still be here with me. I also blame myself because the first 2 years of Kurby's life, he NEVER left the front door without a leash. Once we bought our house in the country, I started letting him out without a leash and training him to stay out of the road. I had dreams that Kurby was hit and killed by a car before he died. He had started getting too close to the road so I asked my husband to either walk him on a leash when he went out, or to stay outside and watch him very closely. I just cant help but feel all of it was my fault. He had no sense of "fear" with cars. I had never let him get near cars the first 2 years we had him. That was my fault.....

Kurbysma

You know guys, I thought I lost it! Because my baby is cremated too. I have her in my purse so that she'd be with me all the time. I wear her collar as my bracelet, and when I am home, I carry her bed wherever I go. It seems like I fall sleep easier and faster if I am holding on to her bed. Am I going nuts?

mom of Lucky (aka LuckyNono, Lulu, Princess Loki, Princess Noki)
or
LuckyNono's mom

Luckynono's mom,

I did the same thing. I carried Kurby's ashes in my purse for 2 days. On my way home from picking his ashes up, I put him on the arm rest in my truck (beside the window) because he loved to ride there and put his head out the window. I put his ashes on my desk beside his pic for about 3 wks and then I moved him to his shadowbox. I still kiss his urn every night and tell him I love him.

kurbysma

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand the pain and guilt involved with losing young pets to the road. (I lost two cats under two to the road). What helped me deal with the loss of my pet was this website and a supportive partner whose ear was always open. There's no way to make grief better and no way to expedite the journey. It's more of process that one must endure before finding a place of peace. It is done when it is done. During my journey with grief, I found that many people either tried to make me feel better with fix-it suggestions or avoided me or the topic because they felt they could not help me feel better. In a way, this de-valued my grief and the love I had for my pet. What helped me the most was telling my story (so to speak) to those who could listen and empathize. And for this reason, LS website was a great support. I also got a kitten three months after my cat's death. He didn't replace my other cat, but he did remind me that no matter what - life & love continue. Dealing with my grief was a rough road, which at times made me question my sanity. In the end, I learned I contain the strength and capcity to survive adverse situations no matter how disparing and hopeless they appear at the time. Bless you as you travel this difficult path.
- Shauna