This is my first post. This site and research I did last night help me to make a final descision.

My mom passed away a year ago February. I had already assumed the role of taking care of the needs of her pet, Muffin. No one else wanted her and they were actually mean to her.

Muffin is a chihuahua and was born 6-13-1989. She is almost 17 years old. She is a year younger than my daughter. She has been a major part of our family...even before she came to actually live with us. Muffin has just seemed to always be there.

She was a great companion for my mom. She was really the only thing that got my mom through the passing of my dad in 2002.

Muffin is not well. She cannot get comfortable and is in pain I believe. We have stopped touching her(she doesn't like it anymore) and just leave her be. We feed her and clean up after her. She has not had much control over her functions---although she trys. She can hardly stand and is blind in one eye and almost blind in the other. She is almost deaf except to really high pitches. We have to say "time to eat" in a really high voice over and over for her to hear. She can barely stand and is so stiff when she walks. Her tonge does not retract all the way into her mouth anymore. She is not able to walk with her head up...it is down and strained to the side. She is very tense and rigid---thats why I think she is hurting. Since I have to clean up after her---I've noticed blood clots in her bm's which are diareah. She can't make it to the puddle pads anymore. She use to have seizures all the time---after I took over her care they stopped. She now gets stuck on her back/side, looking like a turtle.
and struggles frantically to get up and can't.

I wanted to tell my daughter 17 what I was thinking about and tried to explain. She said to me accusingly "Your going to murder her???". She is upset with me. I never thought that I would do this, but I'm with her day in and day out. It's so hard to watch her struggle and think that she is in pain because we can't let go. I have a chronic illness and can't even clean or get around to well. So you can imagine what my house smells like. I can't "chase" after her, I have emphesema and by the time I get there it is too late.

So it will be tomorrow. I'm upset and feeling guilty.

Nette

Hi Nette,
You are doing the right thing for Muffin. Your daughter is still to young to understand that you are putting Muffin out of her misery. But someday she will understand what you are doing you are doing out of love. Muffin will no longer be suffering and she will reunite with your Mom. I took my healthy 2 year old cat to get neutered in Febuary. Things went very wrong for him. When they put him under sedation he went into cardic arrest and died. When I came home from the vet's office I had to tell my 19 year old daughter. The first thing she said to me was I told you not to take him there. Right away she blamed me. Even though they are teenagers sometimes they just dont understand. I took my cat to be neutered because I loved him and wanted to spend many many years with him. You are taking Muffin because you are doing it out of LOVE. In time your daughter will come to understand that. If you need to talk about it this is the best place for you to come. Everyone on this site is grieving for the loss of their beloved pet and we all understand they are not just pets but a great big part of your family.

Joanna

Dear (((((Nette)))))

My heart breaks for you, reading your post....

God Bless You for having the courage and loving your precious Muffin so much, that you are going to give her the gift of Peace.
I know that making that decision is extremely difficult, but please know that it is a decision made out of love.

When we adopt a furbaby into our lives, we make a promise to take care of them forever.
And, when their quality of life gets to the point that they are not enjoying themselves any longer -- when pain/illness gets so bad that they cannot do their normal activities - (even eating, going to the bathroom, cleaning themselves), it's up to us (as their parents), to do for them what is best.

And, from what you have written, it sounds to me as if lil' Muffin has reached this point. Sadly enough, that day comes much sooner than anyone wants it to!

After my Ernestine was put to sleep on Feb 7, 2004, I came to this site not even 12 hours later -- (Thank you God that Lightning-Strike exists!!)

I was incredibly sad, more sad than I had ever been in my then 43 years.... I couldn't stop crying...I couldn't eat. I didn't want to do anything -- I didn't want to get out of bed. I missed my baby girl. My heart felt as if someone was taking a serrated knife and shoving it in & out! My whole body hurt.

One day, a member wrote to me, "Denise, you took on Ernestine's pain so that she could be WITHOUT PAIN......."
I would have done ANYTHING if that meant that my sweet girl didn't have to suffer any longer; I had prayed that God would take her in her sleep - but, that wasn't to be.
It was up to my husband & I to help her go from this life to the next.

Your daughter and Muffin have spent their whole lives together - they ARE sister's, and naturally, she is very upset at the idea of losing Muffin.

If your daughter is open to the idea, please have her come to this site and read a lot of the posts.
It might help her to understand that, in letting Muffin go, where her tired, broken little body can rest; it is the greatest gift of Love that can be given.

At 17, I truly understand your daughter's pain & sadness & anger -- it is normal to feel as she does.
And, if she wants to, she can write just how she is feeling -- just like you did. I will respond to her, and I'm sure that a lot of other wonderful people here will too!

I am sorry that you aren't well.

PLEASE, ALWAYS KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT MUFFIN LOVES YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.....

I hope that you will come here often -- We all understand your pain & sadness.

Sending many hugs along to you and your family.

God Bless You & Yours,

Love, Denise

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I told my daughter that this site was available to her, and I wouldn't read her posts if she wanted it that way. She doesn't want to talk about it at all. I am trying to ease some of her pain while dealing with my own. We both tend to shut down our feelings and won't share. She called and told my son 19 away at college when I went to the store. I didn't get to speak to him---but she said he didn't believe it. They are very close--I feel like I am hurting them, but I can't let Muffin suffer. At least my man is being supportive. He has been great and bathed and cleaned her up when I couldn't.

I feel more now than ever that I am doing the right thing. When I read my post of all she is going through in black and white(so to speak) I feel like I should have done something sooner and not let it go this long.

This is so hard....even knowing it is right.

I had taken her to the Vet a year ago, to get everything up to date. She had several problems then, but even worse now. It was the clinic my mom always took her too. My question is do the Vets ever tell you that you should consider this or is it left totally for you to realize on your own?

I asked and they said I could be there through the procedure to comfort her. I'm glad for that.

Nette

If your vet examines your dog first and agrees that there is nothing more that can be done and that the dog is in pain, it may be easier for your daughter to accept.


Good luck and God bless.

Daisy's Mommy

Dear Nettie,
my heart goes out to you as you face the days ahead. But please know you are doing the right thing for your dog. When the quality
of life is gone... and you will know and regonize that as you already
have it is the gift of peace and relief from pain.
I have had to have 2 dogs (one developed severe kidney failure...
possibly from antifreeze and I watch her suffer...knowing there was
no treatment and then when she could no longer get up, keep anything
down or control her bladder..I made the decision. Samet hing with a
14 year old cat that had a brain tumor and a dog that had so much degenterative arthritic that he could not be still had to trot around all
the time because of the pain..made cirlcles around the yard.. then I had
to carry him up the steps and when he could no lnoger keep anything
down..I kissed him and loved him and my son took him for that last
trip to the vet. My sister would nerver do this for her animals she would
let them die horrible deaths ( that is everyone choice to make and
whatever they can live with) but then she was trumatized by their last
hours as she watched them die such painful deaths.
May you find peace and your children that you are doing the right
thing.
Thinking of you,
Sophie's mon...Jan

Dear Nettie,

My heart also goes out for you at this time. I had to have my beloved Jake put down due to Feline leukemia, and, when I received that dredded phone call, I asked the vet if there was anything that could be done. Jake was so healthy 3 days before, or so we thought, and having to make the decision to have him euthanised was the hardest I have ever had to make. We could have taked him home, but, as the vet said, he was just going to get worsel;t he pain was going to be even worse for him, and I remember what one of my good friends said about her kitty and the images she has of her baby...My fiance and I couldn't do that to Jake--his quality of life was gone. Out of love for our "son", we ended his pain. I can honestly say that the memories I have of Jake are happy ones--

I am posting the following, I have posted it here a few times, after it was such a comfort to me after Jake passed (a friend gave sent it to me). It helped me to know that I did the right thing..

"If I Should Grow Frail"

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain does keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done?
For this, the last battle, cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer, so,
When the time comes, please, let me go.

Take me to where my needs they'll tend,
Only, please stay with me until the end,
And hold me close and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail its last has waived,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don't grieve now that it must now be you
Who has to decide this thing to do.

We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.


Come here as often as you need to. We are all here for you.
Thinking of you,
Sandi

You are doing the right thing. All my dog's life, I was hoping that when the end came, he would just die peacefully under a tree in the sun. That rarely happens though. Instead, he spent a miserable, pain racked weekend and sleepless, vomiting night before he went into the arms of God. If we hadn't had put him to sleep, he would have suffered greatly and taken days to slowly die. That would have been the biggest cruelty we could have done. They are actually luckier than humans who have to go through pain and suffering.