Yesterday, our loving golden died in her sleep, she was 15. I am devastated, its one of the hardest things ever. My dad is taking it even harder he was her buddy. He walked into the office and she was gone. She wasn't stiff she laid as if she did when she was sleeping. She was still warm. I couldn't believe the news. We buried her on my grandpas 11 acres underneath a big tree. My dad made a cross and other little things by where she was buried. I haven't gotten the strength to go up there yet. The whole family spent Easter with her, she got ham and all sorts of treats. She was chipper as can be. Before i left my fathers house i gave her a long kiss and said goodbye. I didn't know it was going to be my last. Now, i don't know what to do. Every 2 minutes it seems like i am crying again. I have never cried this much and it hurts. I don't know if i can go back to my dads house without her there. If someone can please help me i would greatly appreciate it, I'm tired of crying and missing her. I just want it to stop.

Hi Erica, I too lost my baby April 7, and this web site is my comfort.

As you read through the post of everyone here, all of us who loved them so much feel the same depth of hurt and pain. I was not able to eat or drink anything for 3 days, and all I did was cry. I did not want to live anymore but I kept on talking to my baby. That somehow eased the horrible pain.

Read also Crystal's mom's post and everyone here. We all know how the hurt feels like that I would rather have my heart out physically stabbed. Whatever you do, don't stop the crying because it helped me a lot. I and everyone in this site (I hope I am talking for everybody) is your friend in grief. Take care

LuckyNono's mom
Lucky (aka Lulu, Nono, Princess Noki, Princess Loki, Moomoo)

Erica,

Like LuckyNono's mom said, you were fortunate to find the LS site. Everyone here can empathize and understand your frustration, pain, and disbelief.

I also admit to depression. It has been 2 1/2 weeks for me and the hurt has only slightly decreased. I also couldn't eat, sleep, or leave the house the first 5 days, but I only have "meltdowns" about 1-2 times per day now. The biggest accomplishment I have had is that I stopped blaming myself. Crystal was 14 and had multiple old age diseases. Like Crystal, your baby had a good long life and knew they both knew that they were loved.

Don't stop crying. It helps. Don't stop thinking about or talking to your golden. Don't stop going to see her. It will all help you. She went peacefully, in her sleep, and didn't suffer. Most of us here were not that fortunate to find them resting in a deep sleep of natural causes. You do not have the emotional guilt trips to deal with on top of the pain. Feel blessed that you were fortunate enought to be a part of a special furchild's life for 15 years and know that she is in a better place where she is running and eating ham biscuits again.

Keep coming back here. We will all help you through it.

Sonda

Thanks I will continue to come back here. Tomorrow should be better, i will be at school, and at school there is less time to dwell and be miserable. I am so fortunate to have had her go on her own time. With the loss of my first pet named kc more difficult to cope with because he was put to sleep,before i even said goodbye. I hope it gets easier. It has to at my moms house we have 8 dogs, i have no idea how i am going to deal with losing all them. Ill take it one day at a time i suppose.

I am sorry for your loss. I have had to deal with 3 dog deaths in my life. All lived long, good lives. All I can tell you is that it will be terrible for a little while, but will get better as time goes on. Just remember that our dogs are happy waiting for us and it's just a temporary separation. They would not want us to be so upset. They would want us to be happy and enjoy life until we are all together again. Death is just a part of life and it happens to all animals and humans. Just be happy that your dog had a great, long life and died so peacefully.