At times, I feel so guilty about Daisy's end. She was 12 years old with a serious liver disease which was supposed to kill her before she was 3 or 4 years old. At the end, she became very ill, was hospitalized, came home and went into a terrible seizure the next morning - with violent shaking and screaming. I rushed her to the animal hospital where her specialist worked. There was nothing that could be done and she died in my arms with the vet's help.

I recently e-mailed the specialist, questioning my decision. He responded - "As I told you that day, I absolutely agreed with your decision. It was an
appropriate loving decision with no reasonable alternative." Daisy's regular vet also agreed.

Despite this, and despite my belief that any other choice was unthinkable and selfish and would have just prolonged her agony, I still feel guilty. Does she understand that I acted out of love or does she just think that I let her go?


Daisy's Mommy

She knows. She knows her MOmmy's love. In the realm her spirit is in now, she's in pure bliss and knows nothing but joy and love--------no emotional or physical pain. And you'll be with her again!

Even when she was crying out, her spirit may already have been in peace.

I hope you can come to realize that, while guilt is a normal part of all grief processing, you really did all the right things. And you were even there with her when she passed. There was nothing more you could do.

Please be gentle with yourself. You'd want the same for Daisy if the roles were reversed.

Let us know how you're doing!

Love and prayers of peace,
Kathy

Thank you for the kind words. They really help.


Daisy's Mommy, Anne

Daisy's mommy,

She knows. Kathy is right. She knows mommy's love. Just like Jake did. I was with him also. Believe me, I know how you feel. One of the things that I have found to be of comfort was knowing that when Jake left to go to the Rainbow bridge, his last thought was that his mommy was there with him, telling him how much daddy and I loved him. Daisy knew. She still does know--and she is running in the fields at the bridge, no pain, no sickness (like Jake), and one day, you are going to meet again. She will see you and come running as fast as she can to greet you.

You did the right things. How you are feeling is normal, a part of the grieving process, which we all here are at some stage. Above all, you loved Daisy, and you always will.

Take care, I will be praying,
Sandi

I am sure that she knows. I see so many people who let their furkids suffer up to the point of death just so they will be around awhile longer. When we adopt a pet we make an unwritten pact with our loved furkid that we will not let them suffer past the point where their quality of life disappears. While I am all in favor of letting the vet do all he/she can do to help medically, there comes a time when they have done all they can do. At that point the only compassionate thing we can do is to help them end the pain and suffering. It is also one of the hardest things for us but we need to honor that pact we made. When that time comes, their spirit knows that we are doing the best we can for them. Therefore in the midst of your sorrow you should feel a sense of love that you followed through with this pact and ended her suffering. There is no need to feel guilt over that. Time will help to heal the emotional scar of losing her, leaving you with good memories of past times.

YOU ABSOLUTELY DID THE LOVING THING!

I also questioned myself and had guilt. Although I was reassured by my vet it was the appropriate thing to do, there are still so many "what if" questions.

I had seen my vet every day for 3 weeks and he had kept telling me all that time, "No it isn't time yet. You will know when." I had tried so hard to nurse her back to health. We made much progress, but then the obsticles got too great. She wasn't coming back. Like Daisy, the pull of her spirit toward Heaven was too great. She was fighting heart disease, kidney disease, and began having seizures/black outs. The last day she stayed out a long time while I screamed. Somehow she came back to me, barely breathing with a faint heartbeat, and I knew I had to let her go. It was the humane decision, but a VERY PAINFUL one. Like you, I continue to suffer the loss of my best friend, companion, soulmate, but I know we both gave our babies the gift of peace and freedom from pain and suffering.

They will live on in our hearts forever!

Sonda

Hi,
Please try to not be so hard on yourself. You really did the last
caring and loving thing you could do and that was to lessen her time of suffering. I have had to have 3 pets put to sleep because they had got really old and could not recover and no longer have any quality of
life and it is hard but I knew the end was near and that they had suffered enough. When my mother was dying the doctor kept giving
her morphine which caused her to die quicker but she was to the
point of death and it just eased her over to her heavenly home a little faster and she suffered less.
Praying for you to find peace and comfort.
Love and prayers,
Sophie's mom