58 hours ago I had my best friend put to sleep. He had a long history of biting and aggressive behavior. I had rescued him from the special needs section of a shelter 3 years ago. He was such a wonderful companion to me. Oh, how he loved me and I loved him. Friday, he bit my 22 month old daughter. I called the vet, and they strongly recommended putting him to sleep. My family has been pushing me to do it for over a year now. They were scared he would hurt my baby. Even though I was so careful when he was with her, I couldn't protect her. The weird thing is that he loved her so much. I think he was just scared of people in general. I'm the only person he was completely comfortable with. But, Friday he scared me. I reacted way too quickly. Within 2 hours of him biting her, he was gone forever. I have been regretting it every minute since. I don't know how to deal with my guilt. I miss him so much. I can't stop crying. He was always there for me. Everywhere I went he followed. He was always by my side. I am sooooooooo lonely. I don't know what to do. I can't stand being in my house. Every where I turn is a reminder of him. Just sitting here at my computer I miss having him in "his" spot next to me on the bed. I have another dog, whom I love dearly, but his personality is so different. Braxton was such an emotional support for me. He loved me unconditionally and trusted me completely, and I had him killed. How do I move on? How do I continue without him? My family is no help. They don't understand why I would miss him. I'm a single mom, and I can't function. Does anyone have any suggestions? I hurt so much. I had thought I was doing the right thing. How could I have made such a terrible mistake? He really was a sweet dog to me and I miss him terribly.

Oh I'm so sorry about your pain!!! You must be so heart-broken. I know you loved Braxton dearly, and you have been an awesome Mom to him. You adopted him from certain death 3 years ago and gave him a loving home.

It must have been so difficult to be put in that predicament. You asked a vet's advice and it's understandable that you followed that advice (sometimes it's also extra-confusing when family is sort of telling us how we should feel and what we should do. I'm 41 and I still tend to lose sight of what I want if my family is swaying me because they're so controlling).

Since Braxton had had a history of aggressive behavior, it's possible that he could have bitten again and caused serious injury or death. Of course, Braxton wouldn't have intended any harm (and I'm sure he did love your daughter), but there was probably something in him---either a hereditary thing, or something as a result of early abuse from a former owner---that he didn't totally have control over. And since it has been a long-standing behavior, it's doubtful that it would have gotten any better.

You really acted with good intention, and Braxton understands! I'm sure he doesn't blame you. Very very few people would have adopted a special-needs dog. He probably couldn't believe his luck! He is now experiencing only bliss---no sadness whatsoever. Thanks to you, he got to experience the height of earthly love. Now, he's enveloped by such love we can't even imagine, because it's the ultimate. There's no physical or emotional pain for sweet Braxton. I believe that with all my heart. He's fine and wants you to be fine. And you will be reunited when it's your time! For now, experience as much love as you can--with your daughter, your other dog. And don't feel bad if you need to take a break from your family. It doesn't sound as if they're particularly sensitive to the love of a precious pet.

Keep coming to this board for support. We're all here for you!!

Sending you comfort and love,
Little Girl's Mommy, Kathy

Firstly I would start with sitting down and writing Braxton a long letter of how you loved him and why you had to do what you had to do. Then I would burn the letter and watch the smoke drift up to him letting go of some of your pain at the same time.

Then I'm afraid you have the long hard journey of learning to forgive yourself, there’s no need for me to sit here and say that in a few months time he could have bitten off your daughters nose or worse killed her, you know these things which is why you had Braxton put to sleep, eventually your daughter would want to bring home friends, what would you say to the parents if he had attacked their child??

In humans with mental illness we have hospitals, unfortunately there is no such place for our pets and we couldn’t afford them if there was, and besides who is being treated the cruellest?

Think of Braxton now as the family protector in spirit, sometimes I think they can do more for us over there then they ever could on the earth plane and of course they can be with us every time we leave the house too. When you have healed a little, hopefully you will start to see, feel or hear the little signs he is trying to send you to let you know he is ok and still with you and loves you and forgives you as you must forgive yourself, even if its just a ray of sunshine shining on your face at a moment when you are thinking of him.

Love Sue

Jilly, my heart is with you. I have a rescue pit bull. My vet suggested, as one alternative, that she be 'put down' because of her aggression toward my little dog, my darling, my baby Judy Garland. I tried my best to work them through it, and they did live together for over 5 years before the pit finally killed my darling Judy, and it probably wasn't even intentional. Frankly, I have been inconsolable since it happened Sept. 22 of last year. If I had it to do over, would I go ahead and destroy DeeDee to save Judy? Yes, yes, yes, as repugnant and heartbreaking as that choice would have been. My dear, I only lost my Judy (devastating as that was for me), but you could have lost your daughter, which would have resulted in unimaginable grief (from my point of view). I can tell that you miss Braxton terribly, but you must try to remember that he is now in a better place where he no longer has to struggle against his aggressive instincts (you said that he loved your daughter...DeeDee seemed to love Judy, too, and she seemed to grieve so much for the loss of her companion), and you can rest in the knowledge that you had your priorities in the right order. I still cry for my Judy everyday. I failed her. I promised her, myself, and God that I would always protect her, and I didn't. At least, try to take comfort in the fact that you made the best decision for your daughter's sake.

Sometimes we have to make horrible decisions in order to ensure the safety of the innocent.

When a pet has been abused or raised so horribly that they cannot adjust to family life, then that type of decision must be made.

Although I know you feel guilty, I don't think that this decision was actually MADE by you. The SITUATION you were in FORCED you onto a path you would NEVER have chosen on your own. YOU didn't kill Braxton. The terrible, awful, evil person who abused or mis-trained him is the one who killed him.

You tried to give him a life and were pre-empted by the acts of his prior owners. If you try to save someone from drowning but you fail - are you responsible for their death?

I am so sorry you lost your companion - you obviously have a kind, sensitive soul. But I truly believe what you did was save Braxton from a destructive and dangerous path. I think he would thank you for having the courage to send him to a better place before his instincts forced him to hurt someone he loved.

Dear Braxton's Mom,

Reading the replies to your post, I really have nothing to add that our friends here didn't already say. But I wanted to reply anyway and tell you how deeply terribly sorry I am for your loss. I know the pain of putting a dear friend down.... I think we always wonder if it was really right, no matter what the cir%%stances....

But I also think you did the right thing. You say you reacted too quickly... Sue has often said that when that decision comes, we go on automatic. Even tho Braxton was not sick, like many of ours have been, in a way, it is the same...

Think of Braxton at the bridge now. With lots of meadows and lots of children all loving and playing -- without his need to be defensive or territorial or alpha. He has no fear now, just love. And when the time comes, he will meet you at the bridge....

Meanwhile, I remain so sorry for your loss and grief.

Love,
Jennifer