Yesterday was the hardest day of my life. My faithful loving Maltese who was my companion of 14 years passed away. She was my child and my best friend. I am grieving so deeply that I have not been able to keep anything down for 2 days. I took anti-nausea medication, but it hasn't helped. I guess it proves that your "will" is strong enough to heal or prevent healing. I have cried out any hydration that I was able to get to stay down. I have never hurt so much. How long does it hurt this bad? How long will it take before I stop seeing her in all of her favorite spots or hearing her walk through the house? Am I truly losing my sanity or is this part of grieving for something so dear? Anyone who has experienced this please give me some insight on how to cope.

Dear Crystal's Mom,

God, I know your pain well. My husband and I made the agonizing decision to put our 10 yr old bullmastiff to sleep on March 22nd after finding out he had bone cancer.(what first appeared as quickly progressing arthritis). I don't use the word "agonizing" lightly...........it's been for us in many ways, like having to say goodbye to one of our children. After crying almost continuously for 5 days following the event, I wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I found NO joy in my children, not in the one I'm pregnant with, not with any of my usual activities. I felt confused. I lost my mother in 1995 to cancer, lost a baby to miscarriage a year ago and I couldn't help but wonder with this: "Why am I sooooooo depressed?? Of course I loved Goliath, but it's not like it's my mom or a child......." You know what? I had to let go of that line of thinking and allow myself permission to feel this very real, intense pain. I loved him as I would any other family member and we included him literally in most every event and activity we could--especially before children came along. After all- he was our FIRST baby! I just picked up his ashes today and here I am---on yet another pet loss support site (after not needing this for a few weeks) because I feel sooooo low--so sad. My only words of advise: talk about Crystal as much as you can. Talk about her to friends, family, your vet--anyone who will listen and feels that genuine empathy for what you're feeling. I've been blessed to discover many friends and my own family are truly supportive of me and my husband and have been equally as shocked by this whole thing. And the internet----these sites are really making me feel better.......I dont' know how, but it's true. Don't beat yourself up. Don't expect the pain to just disappear. I see and hear Goliath every day for just that split second and it takes my breath away to realize it was my imagination. I dream about him almost every night for this past week.... I guess I've got to keep giving this time too. It's not the excruciating pain it was a couple of weeks ago--but it's an ever-present aching and longing to have my buddy...my baby, back. I'm sorry to go on about my own situation-but I hope it helps to know you're truly, truly not alone.

Hi, I had just lost my baby Lucky but I call her Lulu, and sometimes Nono today! It hurts and although I am diabetic, I have not eaten anything too. I am just crying my heart out.

I promise guys that it will get better! It doesn't seem that way at first, but it does. Whatever you do, don't try to hold your feelings in. Everyone may not understand what you are going through or why you feel so upset (my brother actually laughed at me). You just have to realize that they have never been lucky enough to experience the kind of love and bond that is only shared between you and your furbaby. It's a love on a whole different level. They love you no matter what. I remember that whenever I would have to scold Daisy for something, it may have hurt her feelings for a second, but she would always come back to me and give me her sweet kisses. She was so special. I still cry sometimes, and I miss her like crazy. But I still go to her grave and talk to her and I pray for her all the time. I know she is okay and I know that she can hear me. I try not to be too upset because I know she is watching over me and that she would want me to remember the good times we had together. I tell her I love her everyday.
My prayers are with you.

I replied to another of your posts, but I wanted to add something, about the physical symptoms you're experiencing.

When I lost my Little Girl, I took Xanax for awhile. I needed that medication. It allowed me to have enough of an appetitite to at least eat some and keep it down. I don't know if it would do the same for you, but it might be worth a try.

At the time I thought about how grateful Little Girl must have been about this---to know that her Mommy was able to eat (because of a past experience with not being able to eat in the face of grief, one of my huge fears was having this happen again, when the time came that I lost Little Girl. Scary, to be so sick that you can't take care of your health).

Good luck with this, and please keep in touch.

Love,

Kathy

Is it typical to feel this way that I just don't care whatever happens to me?

It's been a week since my best friend and baby passed away, so I can't tell you if it gets better. All I can tell you is that you are not alone. I feel the same way as you do, and so do a lot of other people. The loss and pain are terrible. At times, it seems unbearable. But, I know that whenever I cried, Daisy ran to be and licked my face. She can't do that now, but I know that she would not want me to be unhappy. I hope to get to the point when I can remember her without so much pain.

You are not alone. What you are feeling is normal for anyone capable of real love. It is the price that we all have to pay for the joy of having known our pets. I think it is worth the pain to have known Daisy, a brave and loving soul.


Daisy's Mommy, Anne

This is for all those people just starting out on that terrible time of losing a beloved furbaby

IT DOES GET BETTER, YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT.

Please remember this is just my personal journey:-

I lost Smokey 16 weeks ago ( the most handsome black persian cat you have ever seen ) I thought I would never get through it.

First, I sobbed and sobbed, I didn't eat, I wanted to join him.
Then I was angry, why did he have to go? It wasn't fair we loved each other soooo much.
Then I was willing to make any deal to have him back, but the world dosn't work that way.

The next step was, I found myself thinking of him, my Smoke, Woke, Doke, Poke and smiling at things we used to do together and not breaking down so much.

The next step was being so grateful to Smokey for sharing my life for nearly 14 years and making it so very very happy.

Then my last step ACCEPTANCE, he gone.....just gone.....I accept that now and to the outside world Smokey died, but to me he lives on forever in videos, photos and memories, lots of happy memories and very much in my heart.

I still have Persia (the most handsome cream persian cat you have ever seen) and he's 14 years old, it frightens me in my down moments, but I wouldn't change having them because of the hurt I suffered over these last months.

So take heart
IT DOES GET BETTER, YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT.

It's a hell of a journey, but the price we pay for being loved and loving them.

Lynda
Smokey and Persia's Mum forever.

It took me a few months before the pain subsided. Even now, when I catch sight of a black cat I get weepy. Now I can look at the good times we shared, not just the final days. Him being a kitten and hauling a banana up the stairs is just as real now as his final breath at the vet. It took me about six to eight months to get into that headspace. Each day and week brings healing. I am sorry for your loss. You were both lucky to have shared a life together. You hurt because you loved so much.

Oh My Gosh - I thought I was the only one in the world that felt THIS BAD after losing a pet. I lost cisco today - I dont know why I wrote cisco. I almost never called her by her full name - I would call for cissy almost always! I had my Cisco for 13 years. I got her shortly before my boyfriend of 10 yrs and I finally called it quits, and cissy was the only thing that remained a constant in my life.
EVERY day she would get up with me, stand outside the shower curtain and often times try to jump in - just to get as CLOSE as she could. She would NEVER leave me alone (until today - when she had to). I am bawling as I try to type this to the board, havent eaten since cissy and I shared a piece of toast(her favorite) 3 days ago.
I too live alone, and my friends and family tell me to GET OUT! Do something FUN! take your mind off it. Although, whenever I climb the stairs back up to the front door I sit and cry because she isnt on the other side, wagging her tail, wondering where mommy has been, and if I brought back some Beggin Strips.
Some say get another pet right away, some say take time to grieve, some say it takes time-keep yourself busy. I'm truly lost and I can almost sense I am a burden to some friends because I am normally a "bounce back" kinda gal.

Tearful Mommy

I am sorry for your loss and grateful for this website. I had to have my cat Max put down 2 days ago. He had been with me for 12 years and he was full grown when I inherited him. I miss him more than I ever thought possible.