Hi all! I felt I needed to update you all since my last e-mail sounded so depressing and hopeless. Everything turned out wonderful with my c-section and my beautiful baby girl is now home. If I can figure out how to attach some pics I will do so....but as you can tell I haven't even figured out how to attach my Parkers pics yet. This was such an emotional pregnancy for me because I lost Parker during it.....that tainted the whole emotional process of being pregnant. I was never able to truly get excited about it. That has all changed now that Maili Parker is here. She is wonderful and I am convinced that she brought a little bit of Parker's spirit with her. Her eyes are bright, she is already funny and she definitely has her own mind, just like my beloved Parker. She will be 3 weeks on Friday and today was my first meltdown about Parker since she has been born. His bed is still in my closet and I was cleaning it out today and just laid on his bed feeling his hair and smelling what is left of his scent, crying and crying. I miss him still so much, and realize now that nothing will ever take that feeling away. It has gotten better, it has been almost 7 months since he passed. So, the feeling of screaming down the street and not wanting to be on this earth has gotten better. But, my life will never be the same, and I mean that honestly.....I just have to live with a new normal. I am trying to do that. I want to impart my love of animals to Maili and my son Cole, not the grief it brings when they pass. It is so worth it and I want them to always know that. I would do everyday with Parker over again and I know he is now looking down on his new baby realizing he did his job.....he taught me how to be a good mother. Thank you Parker. I love you.
Parker's Mom,
Kerry