Yesterday, my little Daisy died in my arms and I cannot believe it. The grief that I feel is overwhelming. I don't know how to handle this terrible pain. She was my best friend, my baby and constant companion of 12 years. That she lived so long is amazing since she had a congential liver defect which usually ends dogs lives before the age of 4. Her death was terrible, a complete neurological decompensation caused by the toxins that her liver could not clear out, according to her Vet. At the onset of the near final symptoms, we tried to save her. She was admitted to the animal hospital where they tried to detoxify her for two days. I picked her up on Friday morning. When they brought her out to me, she looked weaker and sicker then ever, yet somehow, she gathered the strength to lick my face before collapsing into my arms. The Vet said that there was a small chance that having had the treatment, she would rally in the security of her own home. He thought she would die at the hospital. I had made it very clear to the Vet that I did not want her to die alone in the hospital, feeling abandoned.

I brought her home and she was so sick. She could barely stand and I made a small enclosure for her next to the bed. She usually slept on the bed, but I was afraid that she might fall off. My husband and I pet her a long time and told her how much we loved her and I tried to give her a little water and her medicine. In the early morning, she went into a terrible seizure. My husband stayed with our child, and I rushed her to the hospital. By the time I got there, the seizure was worse and she was crying out. The on-call vet told me that since the treatment she had just received had obviously failed, there wasn't any more treatment to give. Daisy was contorted and having seizures and crying, so there was only one thing to do. I held her in my arms as the Vet gave her the lethal injection. Afterwards I stayed with her body for awhile telling her how much I loved her. Tomorrow, we are picking up her ashes.

I cannot believe that Daisy is gone and I am overcome with grief, doubt and guilt. Was it the right decision to let her stay at the hospital for the treatment, when she so hated to be away from home? I felt that I needed to give her that chance that the Vet said she had, but I feel so bad that she had two horrible days away from us. Were the Vets right about her illness and treatment? I am glad that she came home the night before she died and I am glad that I was with her at her last moment. Does she understand how hard it was to let her go? Did she know I was there? Does she forgive me for any mistakes of judgments I might have made in her care? How long with this acute grief last? In time, I would like to remember her with less pain. Can this ever happen? How can I help my husband, whose grief is as bad or even worse than mine?

I know that there are people who cannot understand the pain of losing a dear pet. I feel sorry for those people, since they are lacking something very important.

Daisy's Mommy.

Hi Daisy's Mommy,

I am so sorry for your lost. I feel your pain and I hope that everything will be okay. I know how hard to lost a pet that we loved so dearly and treated them like our own child. It will take time to get over this....my thoughts and prayers are with you tonight and your husband. Don't feel guilty you did what you think was best for Daisy....

Take Care,
Sheena's Mom

I too am very sorry for your loss. All I can say is from my experience and that is that the intensity of pain has not diminished, just the frequency of attacks. Time does seem to be helping a little bit.

My little guy died in my arms as well. I never pictured things this way. I truly know what you are going through and most of the advice that I have gotten has not helped too much. Only time eases pain as intense as losing your best friend.

Good luck, and once again I'm sorry about Daisy. She was lucky to have you, and vice versa.

I'm sending loving thoughts & prayers to you. I just lost my Daisy last tuesday & had the same questions as you. Believe that your baby understands & is at peace now. You did absolutely everything you could & releasing her from pain & suffering is the most unselfish act we as fur parents can do. Hang in there.

I don't know if you will read this post, but I am hoping you will. I wanted to add my thoughts to the decision dilemma you face concerning another puppy.

I am often asked by readers if it is right to get another dog (or cat) so soon after the passing of one so loved. I was faced with this with my own animals - and I did it for them only. I did not want another dog. I felt I was betrying the memory of the departed one and I also envisioned loving the new one and someday having to lose her. It was very hard, but I knew my other dog needed the companionship.

Like you, I quickly found that the dog I rescued from a shelter to come home, was not a betrayal of the one who had gone on ahead - it was a gesture in her honor, rescuing one of her own kind and giving them a chance at life rather than what she faced at the shelter.

Oddly, I found that in no time the new dog was weaving her loving personality into my heart and soon her love and devotion served as a balm for my own aching heart. I did not forget the one I had lost, for she had her special place staked out in my heart - but I found that my heart was huge when it came to animals and there was room for the new one.

Since then I have found that I am like most pet lovers - doomed to not being able to live life without these special creatures in my life. I cannot imagine what life would be like without knowing the precious, unlimited and unrestricted love of animals. I know you agree.

My latest addition is also named Daisy Mae - she was rescued from a shelter in Galveston, Texas and has fit into the "group" well.

I know your Daisy Mae is alive and well. You can rest assured that she is. I do not say things like that just to make people feel good - I have researched this topic and know it to be true. Getting another puppy to help the other pet is a splendid idea. It will help - both of you. But best of all, there is a dog sitting in your local shelter that is just waiting, hoping, in a dog's way, for that special someone to come in the door and point at him/her and say "That's the one - I want that one to go home with me".

People always wonder if they are ready - if the time is right. Believe me - you are ready - the time is right.

God bless.

Gary Kurz

Thank you so much. It is comforting to know that others understand your grief. I am sorry for your losses and know that nothing can make it alright.

I don't want to ever forget her, and I know I never will. But, it would be nice if I could remember her with less pain.


Daisy's Mommy