Yesterday I did the hardest thing I've ever done. My poor pug Daisy had a disc degenerative disease & I finally let her go. I can barely speak today...and I came into work. Excuse my lack of complete sentences....

I've been called one of those "pathetic" people who do not have kids & give everything to my dogs....treat them like people, talk to them while walking them down the street.

I have another dog who is really anxious...he's never been without Daisy & he keeps searching for her. Chester (boston terrier) is 5 & Daisy was 11. I've had her for over 1/4 of my life and I can't remember how I ever lived without her. Anyway, Chester & I had a very rough morning. We shared alot of hugs.

The house feels so empty without her there. She was so pitiful. I actually let her linger for way too long due to my own selfishness. It got so bad yesterday I knew I couldn't wait any longer. I feel so empty and alone.

I can't stop crying. And I mean I don't even care I'm crying publicly. My heart aches, I have a lump in my throat, I can't eat.

It hasn't even been 24 hours yet. How am I ever going to get through this? Please share your experiences & advice with me. I know this is a place I can get help. Thanks!

My best buddy had to be euthanized 2 and a half weeks ago. I know what you are going through. I don't really know what to say though. My life seems very hollow still and the loss is still incredibly painful. My little guy was/is the center of my life and just the most wonderful creature to have around.

The sense of loss is now a little bit less painful, but the reality of him being gone forever is really staring to set in.

The first week I kept myself busy by tearing apart the entire house looking for photos of him and writing down all of the great memories that I could recall. This helped me through the unbelievably hard first week. I had a mission. Now I don't have one per se and the situation is becoming more real.

Good luck, I hope you find your own way to cope.

<<I've been called one of those "pathetic" people who do not have kids & give everything to my dogs>>

OMG. I have been called the same ('pathetic' because I don't have kids and give everything to my cats.)

Don't worry about it, babe. Those people who 'don't understand' and thing we're 'mad dog/cat ladies' who are 'pathetic because they're childless' just haven't a clue. There are people on this site - and others - who ARE mothers and DO have children - and feel every bit as bereft as we do when losing a pet, so it has absolutely NOTHING to do with being childless or not...

It has everything to do with loving animals and getting that special connection with a furry friend that NOTHING can beat.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. YOu must miss your Daisy terribly. But I really DO believe (because I have to!) that they are always with us...and your Daisy will always be with you.

I do know howyou're feeling - as do so many wonderful people on this board - and I send you love and hope that - with the coming weeks - you'll start to feel more at peace with losing Daisy. And even if you don't.....that's okay, too. I'm not 'cool' with losing my boy, yet time will surely heal this...as it will for all of us.
Lots of love***x

I also had to make that hard decision to have my baby put down...and it was the hardest thing that I have EVER had to do...and I also went in to work the next day...so believe me, I know how you feel...Jake was our child also...and people have called my fiance and I "pathetic" at times because our pets are the only kids we have...

I am so very sorry for your loss. We all here understand how you feel. The love that i have seen for our furkids thorugh the posts shared here has been incredible, and has helped me to begin to heal. It does get a easier. I still feel the void--I still look for Jakey, and, sometimes, it still seems so unreal that he is gone. I am fortunate, though, to have 2 smaller kitties who have helped the hurt. They keep us busy--and make us laugh when we want to cry--or they just let us cry and hold them

After reading these posts, I wanted to share a story that was sent to me from a friend that I "met" here on l-s...it still makes me cry, but it has helped me to know that Jake is still there watching over us--and he will always be with us...as are your fur kids...I hope this is of some comfort to you as it was to Todd and I..

Sandi


The Story of Little Orange Boy

The little orange boy woke up on the edge of a pond. Behind him, kitties and puppies were playing, chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the pond's water, he could see his Mommy.

His Mommy was crying.

He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work, he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.

"Is something wrong?"

The little orange boy turned around. A beautiful lady was standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The little orange boy whined and walked out of the water.

"There's been a mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the water. It was starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back. "I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't supposed to come here yet."

The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy climbed into her lap. It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good. When she started to pet him and skritch under his chin where he liked, he started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it.

"I'm afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your Mommy knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said.

The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And Daddy too."

"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."

"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was sleeping. All he had heard them talk about was how cute he wa or how fast he was or how big he was getting.

"No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose tears."

"No they didn't," the little orange boy argued. Who would choose to cry?

The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him feel safe and loved and warm - but he still worried about his Mommy

"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.

The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around. Cats - Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and OBie. Dogs too - Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even a lizard named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky, a rabbit named Dot and a hamster named Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.

She smiled at them and began:

A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They were lonesome and asked the angel to help them.

The angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first window at all sorts of things - dolls and stuffed animals and cars and toys and sporting events.

"Here are things you can love," the angel said. "They will keep you from being lonesome."

"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."

"You have chosen Pleasure," the angel told them.

But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love them."

The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said. "They will know you love them."

So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have chosen Satisfaction," the angel said.

Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came back to the Angel in Charge. "They know we love them," they told the angel. "But they don't love us back. We want to be loved in return."

So the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are other people for you to love," the angel told them.

So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love. "You have chosen Commitment," the angel said.

But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped loving us and left. They broke our hearts."

The angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, one saw a window off to one side and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.

But the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system operations."

"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Will they stop lovng us?" someone else asked.

"No," the angel admitted. "They will love you forever."

"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.

But the angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them. "you will have to feed these animals."

"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.

"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."

"We don't care."

The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the PETS were and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the animals' eyes.

"They were not programmed right," the angel said. "We can't offer a warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."

But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought they would burst. "We will take our chances," they said.

"You do not understand." The angel tried one more time. "They are so dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."

The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."

The angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen Tears," he whispered.
___________________________________________

"So it is," the kind lady told the little ones. "And so each Mommy and Daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one day it will leave them and they will cry."

The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.

"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain."

"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the edge of the pond. His Mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.

She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and petting and shared love. And the promise of love once again. As your Mommy cries, she is healing."

"It may take a long while, but the tears will help her feel better. In time she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of you. And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."

"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said.

The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love again. That is all she will think about. That is all that truly matters." She picked up Big Boy and Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she liked.

"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"

The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready to leave his Mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?"

The kind lady nodded. "You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at. You'll be in the purr of every cat she pets. And late at night, when she's fast asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come. And a long, long time from now - you'll find her standing at the side of the pond waiting for you when you finish playing."

"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look at his Mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.


Then Jake turned and raced after the others.

I, too, lost my Daisy. She was a ##er Spaniel and she was the love of my life. I only had her for a year, but it was a very special year. She brought love into my heart that I never knew I could feel. She will have been gone a week tomorrow. I still cry and I also went to work and was an emotional wreck all day. Most people I know don't understand what I am going through. My brother actually laughed at me the other day. But you have to understand that everyone was not blessed in the way that you and I (and everyone else here at Lightning-Strike) were/are. We have known the love of someone who will always love us back, no matter what. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of Daisy and now instead of crying all the time I am able to smile and even laugh when I think of her. I still feel a huge void in my life, but I know that Daisy was sent here for a reason and taken away for one as well. The best thing to remember is that this is only a temporary separation. We will all meet again someday. My prayers are with you.

Sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks! What a WONDERFUL story. Thank you so much for posting it...and I am so sorry about the loss of your wonderful Jake. ***

I am really sorry to hear about your doggie. I had to put down my Cody almost 5 months ago. I was 8 months pregnant and it was the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. I don't think that you are pathetic because your animals are you kids. Cody was my baby boy. People thought that I was nuts becuase I took him everywhere with me. He was my child. He had a slipped disk and there was nothing they could do. They told me I could keep him alive the way he was but he would have to be cooped up in a kennel for the rest of his life. I couldn't do that. I couldn't even be in the same room with him when it was time to go. My parents had to do it. If he was with me today he would still be my baby boy and I would still take him everywhere I go. I used to find baby sitters for him because I hated him to be home alone more then a few hours. I had my daughter 7 weeks ago. I have been really busy, but I think about him everday. I have pictures all over my house, in my photo albums that remind me of him. He is was my life for 5 years, so its hard to live without him. I miss him everyday. I still cry for him even though its been almost 5 months. Everyone told me when Ali came I would forget and move on. But that is not true. I will never forget and I don't think I will ever completly get over him either. I still cry for him, usually when I am alone, because some people keep telling me to get over it, he was just a dog. But I don't feel that way. So I try to keep it to myself. It does get easier though. Never forget your little one. Take care and I hope you feel better soon. Stacey

Cody33dog,
I know how you feel..people have told me that Jake was just a cat. How untrue! Our furkids are a member of the family. I know that I will never forget my Jake. None of us will ever forget our furkids. I believe there is someone who had a dog that passed away who posts on this site who also has a baby/small child--and her daughter/son will point to the pet's picture when asked who that is, and she/he says the name of the departed pet. I know that if I ever have human children that I will show them the pictures of their "fur" brother, and I will speak of him. I also know that it is hard to feel as though you have to keep your grief hidden--that's why I was happy to have found this site. I am sorry to hear about your Cody. You are right--it does get easier.

HopeThingsWillGetBetter--I am glad that you liked "Little Orange Boy". It really spoke to me--and I could picture my Jake doing just that...the story was given to be by a friend that I met through here, as I stated earlier, and, I thought, that it helped me so much, maybe it would be of some comfort to others also. I am sorry for your loss as well.

Both of you, take care. God bless.

Sandi

cody33dog, forever jake, daisy's mama, sidney's buddy, cestjuls, and hopethingsgetbetter:
just want to let you know that you are not alone. since my little JJ is gone two weeks ago, i have gone through emotional roller-coaster. first was the unstoppable cries, then seemingly feeling better, then the reality started sinking in and it hurts. i hope you understand that the reason it hurts so much is because our furkids were so special to us...that it was so great when they were around, that the bond was so strong and that's why its so difficult without them. but... it was a blessing, to have someone so special in our life, even if it was not as long time as we would want it to be. a place in our hearts is where they are kept forever.
thank you forever jake for the orange boy story. i cried and cried while reading it. it was very touching. cody33dog, thank you for telling me that you miss your furbaby the same after your baby was born. it means a lot to me.
take good care all of you!!