My beloved dog was put to sleep at age 14 a few weeks ago. I feel like I am in shock and I feel like I want to scream and scream his name out loud. I also feel guilty because my life is easier since I don't own a dog anymore and sometimes I am glad I don't have the responsiblity of him anymore. Yet I loved him like a child because I couldn't have children and he was a child substitute for us. He did everything with us and went everywhere with us for 14 years and I just can't believe he is not around anymore. I so long to hold him again that it makes me feel crazy. How long will it take to return to somewhat of a normal life?
Thanks.

I want to tell you that I am sorry for your loss. My Jake was a child to us also, as Todd and I do not have children together. Jake passed away a little over 4 months ago now, right before Thanksgiving, and I have taken it very hard. It has gotten better--well, more bearable. At first, all I did was cry and cry, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, and then, when the anger and gulit set in (Jake was euthanised and I was there and held him and told him how much I loved him until the vet told me he was gone), I withdrew from everyone. I shared this earlier in a different post. Since then, I have started counselling, and writing. I felt as though I was going crazy...the pain and heartache was so much at times, it was hard to breathe. I still cry for Jake. I miss him so much--he was only 2 1/2 years old--too young to be taken from us. I also researched Feline Leukemia, and honored Jake in a presentation in front of my college class. Like your furkid, Jake was always there with us, and when I was sick, or in a lot of pain, he would curl up beside me and stay with me.

I have learned that it is okay and normal to feel the way that I have been feeling. There are days that I still feel guilty... I will say, also that God is good, and trusting him has helped me to heal a little. You are not going crazy--you are grieving the loss of a family member. Believe me, I want to hold Jake and play with him "just one more time"..but I know that is the selfish part of me..Jake isn't in any pain anymore. He is waiting for me at the Rainbow Bridge..and keeping the lap of angel warm..till I get there.

This site has also been helpful--everyone here understands, and we are all going through this together. When my friends and family didn't understand, people here have. I know that I am still not over the loss of my baby--the grieving process is different with each person, and the time of grieving varies from person to person also. Knowing that there is somewhere that you can go where others are feeling or have felt the same way and are supportive is comforting.

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you,
Sandi

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. My Soshi was like our baby, too. She was 16, and died of a brain tumor.
We had to take extra special care of her because she was diabetic.
So, my husband often said it was like having a child. We had to get home to feed her on time and give her the insulin shot. We didn't go out of town much, even for a weekend, because we would have to board her.
We spoiled her! I'm so glad we did!
When she died, I thought, well, I can now go out of town for a weekend. I didn't really want to, though, and would rather just have her back.
It sounds to me like you gave your kid a wonderful life, too. My vet sent me a condolence and it said something like, 'find comfort in the knowledge that you gave her a wonderful life.' So, I have.
I also cry and beat the bed with pillows and feel so sad I can't remember what happy fells like.
It's been two months, and I now feel more normal. I'm usually a happy, goofy, laid-back person, but as I grieve, I'm completely different.
Writing to others about my greif and trying to bring some comfort to them has helped me so much, and I also journal. I did some artsy things (a painting, a scrapbook) and that helped me, too.
About a month ago, I couldn't stand the quiet anymore, so I adopted two new kids. They are awesome, even though they didn't fill up that spot Soshi was in, they found new spots in my heart. I know, then, that Soshi is still in her spot in my heart, and it never was really empty. She'll always be there.
Just know that it's normal to feel. Your kid deserves your greif, but remember he would want you to be okay, and you will be. It just takes time, and no one can say how much because it's different for everyone.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Love, brandy, soshi, george, and isaac