It is coming up on two weeks now that my best buddy had to be euthanized. I am a total mess. My wife is coping a little bit better than I am but the house seems quiet without Sidney Irving Grossberg, the best friend that I have ever had. He was only 12 and a half years old. I always thought that I'd have more time with him. It was not to be. We were so ridiculously close to him that it was often the butt of jokes from our friends. A replacement for the lack of our interest in having children, etc. I have had many cats in my life, but this little guy was different. I can't imagine "getting over" this as many people are starting to tell me to do, as if my grief is unnatural as he was not human.

The last two weeks all that I have done is tore our house apart looking for all of the pictures of him that I could find. To date I have around a hundred of them, but looking at them just makes me sad right now. I am scared of forgetting him so I've been writing down everything that I can possibly remember.

Our other cat Nelson, a big, goofy Maine Coon, is such a beta personality that he doesn't know what to do without Sid whipping him into shape. We really got him for Sid, and of course we love him too, but he is definitely not the love sponge that Sidney was.

Thank everyone for allowing me to share. And thanks for this site as it is one of the few places that have helped me to deal with my loss.

It is the hardest thing in the world to lose your best friend, and that is one thing everyone here at LS knows first hand, so you have come to the right place. I saw a lot of myself in your post. My Sasha was my 'canine soulmate'. That one of a kind special baby that you know you will carry in your heart forever...it sounds like Sid was your 'soul kitty'.

This is especially true for me as well. My friends and family used to tease me about how crazy I was over her and how I couldn't so much as pee without her by my side. They said I was going to end up in the looney bin when something happened to her (sometimes I think that isn't such a bad idea ). They also joked about her being 'immortal' and the 'energizer puppy'. She just kept going and going with no signs of how old she really was until that last year...it really crept up fast. Until then, I think I must have believed those things about her because I never imagined I would ever have to live a day without her by my side.
I am very sorry you don't have your Sid with you anymore, but if you are a christian, then you will see him again oneday. Please know that you can come here whenever you need to be in the company of those who truly understand, we're here for you.
Your friend in grief,
Kim

My baby Pushkin (Pushkin Boots Westgarth ha ha) was my soul kitty. I loved this little guy so much, since the moment he came into our house he seemed like the one perfect addition to my family.

Don't let anyone give you grief over him being a replacement for children, that's a load of baloney. I want to have children and even so Pushkin was my dearest best friend and most beloved companion. He was my baby Smoosher, I didn't like being away from him for even the time I had to spend at work. I have to travel for work some times and I would frequently get teased by my husband that I would call home to check on Pushkin and not my husband.

We have another kitty too, little Catface, but she's such a typical independant kitty spirit that she never needed us the way that Pushkin did. He was such a mama's boy that he would follow me around wherever I went and the last thing and first thing I would see during the day would be Smooshies face as he planted himself on my belly or chest on top of the covers and just snuggled with me and purred happily. I would carry him around the house and took pictures of him non-stop.

I really loved him like I have never loved another animal. It always seemed to me that he was our kindred spirit, meant to be with my husband and me.

I can only imagine what you are going through. Losing someone so dear to you is the most horrible thing to have to deal with. I've told my husband that I'd rather have had the accident and have lost limbs than him have the accident and us lose him. But even barganing with your limbs and livelihood doesn't seem to budge god on the matter of finality of death. So here we all are.

I hope it makes you feel better to know that we are all grieving like you are and you are not alone.

Monika.

It does help to have you guys write in. I miss my little guy so much. His sickness and death happened so quickly that I now feel as if I did not have time to register what was happening. I don't feel as if I will ever feel normal again and I do feel as if feeling normal would be an act of betrayal to my special friend.

I don't really believe in ghosts but I have been hearing some crazy noises in my house and I can't help feeling as if it is him. Things have fallen off of tables and I have heard more creaks and groans than usual. It would be like him to try to communicate if that were possible.

Sidney was a very unusual cat. He was not scared of anything. When we lived in an old loft building in Brooklyn during the crack epidemic in the early nineties I would take him outside to sit on the loading dock of our building. First I would have to brush off the crack vials and carefully move the used hypodermic syringes. When the drug dealers would walk by with their pit bulls, Sid would just sit there and look at them as they strained against their leashes and barked at him. He would rub up against my landlords Rottweiler and the dog actually liked it.

I really regret never getting a photo of his vacuuming addiction. We noticed about a decade ago that Sid liked to be vacuumed with the brush attachment on the vacuum cleaner. Since Sid was always very actively involved when we had parties, this soon became quite the party trick. Sidney didn't get enough at parties and it developed into his habit of lying infront of the vacuum cleaner every time you vacuumed. Either spend time vacuuming the cat of you would be bumping into him every ten seconds as he sprawled in your path.

All of my "dog people" friends fell a little in love with at least one cat. That always made me very happy. Sid was an ambassador from the cat world to dog lovers.

Once again, thanks for the posts and I'm really sorry that a lot of you are in the same boat that I am in.

I can't get over the vacuum story, that is beyond hilarious! Most cats would run at the mere sight of a vacuum cleaner! What a brave and cool little dude.

It's increadible that he was not afraid of dogs. Rubbing up against a Rottweiler? Woa, that's a spirit of a jungle kitty right there.

My Pushkin liked parties too. In fact he liked anything that meant more people around to shower love on him. He was quite the scene stealer (sic). Every time we had guests come over the first thing they'd do is grab him and start petting him and hugging him, we faded far into the background until everyone had enough of kittie time. One of the surprising things about his death actually has been the grief our friends have been expressing. Looks like our kittie buddies can make an impact on more than just our lives.

I'm so sorry Sidney passed away. He sounds like a one in a million cat.

Monika.

Ps: In those pics he looks gorgeous. But I'm sure you already know that.

Thanks for your posts. He was super attractive in a Brooklyn street tough type of way, not in a pure bred, registered kind of manner. He had the most beautiful, expressive eyes that I have ever seen in a cat. Mr. personality. Nelson, our Maine Coon, is Mr. Glamor and gets most of the wows, but Sid was the real heart thief and most of our friends knew it.

Pushkin looks awfully cute in you pictures as well. I sure that he was a great cat. It's amazing how these little critters can get under your skin.

I wonder how long this is going to be this difficult. Living without my little dude sure seems like no fun so far. He was such a joy to have around.

Here's an edited version of the very last photo I took of him. I can't get over the fact that he still looks so good in it. He died a few days after it was taken. Boy do I still love him.

Just thought that I would post a picture of my little guy that is only two months old. Just before we saw any symptoms.

He loved the wood stove that I installed in our house and would actually leave his dinner if he heard me rustling the newspaper to light a fire. Every evening it was expected. How many times I lit a fire just for Sid and his little (actually much larger) brother Nelson.

I do miss him so much.

They look so happy...what a wonderful life you gave him...my heart goes out to you...C

Your darling Sidney was a very handsome boy -- as is your other "little boy" , Nelson!!

Thank you so much for posting such a wonderful photo for all of us to enjoy --- the two of them sitting in front of the wood stove fire !!

That picture put a big smile on my face and warmed my heart.....

I absolutely LOVE that you lit a fire for both Sidney and Nelson-- it goes to show how very much you loved your precious Sid - (and, continue to love beautiful Nelson).
And, the fact that Sidney would leave his dinner when he heard you rustling the newspapers to start the fire --- Such a wonderful memory!

When my husband and/or I are going out, leaving our two kids alone (Ms. Lucy - 8 yrs old & Mr. Yoster - 10 yrs old), we always make sure that Animal Planet (or some other animal show) is on.

I know it probably sounds crazy to those who don't have any pets....but, I do it because I love them.... It's one of the many very small things that I do for them because I love them sooooo much .

I pray that you and your wife are feeling a bit better going through this very painful journey.

Wishing you both much comfort and peace.

Denise

Thank you very much for your lovely post. The only thing that has helped me through this tough time is the help from the people on this great site. I hope sometime to leave all of the hurt behind and just remember the good, which there was soo much of that I can't even scratch the surface. My relationship with Sidney was incredibly close. People called us the sybiotic unit (daytime) . At night he slept tummy to tummy with my wife (nighttime sybiotic unit).

My advice to anyone who lives in the north: If you want to make your cats ecstatically happy, get a wood stove. These picture do make me happy now. We had so many laughs about the cat/stove relationship.

Those pictures are adorable!

I'm so sorry about Sidney. I know how you feel, as does everyone here. ((((hugs))))

It Was one year ago today that we lost you my Sid. Still hurting and loving you, I guess forever. The pain has eased but the longing has not. What a cat.

Sid was so cute! Can I ask how do you get through the year. I just lost Rajah Pony 3 days ago and the pain is unbearable and the house is too quiet and I NEED his kisses to feel better. They always made me feel better. How do you get through it? I need to know.

"The last two weeks all that I have done is tore our house apart looking for all of the pictures of him that I could find."

I totally did the same thing, spent two weeks going through 10 years of pictures to find any picture that had a trace of him. My husband still wishes we had had a video camera.....

Your story sounds so similiar to Misty, our male cat who we loved just as much. IT's over 3 months and we still miss him every day. I am at a different stage, the looking for them everywhere does end, but the process is bit by bit. I still can't put the photo album together.

Here is a picture of Misty. Please share some of yours. Like you, I couldn't find anyone who understands that pet grief is the same as people grief......

You've made it through the first two weeks, hang in there. We're here to listen and care.

Hugs, Misty's Mama