3/16/06
About 2 1/2 hours ago, I took my cat Spunky to the vet. She passed away today, unfortunately, while I was out.
I feel horrible about her being alone when she died. I am so sorry about that.
As I cried, I kept saying to her that I was sorry that she was alone.
She is now with her sister, who we lost a year ago last November.
We have no cats in the house now.
I left the towel and the clothes basket that I took her to the vet in, at the vet. I coudn't bring them home.
I have all of her stuff around the house and I don't want to move it.
I can't look at the spot where I found her without breaking down.
I feel so bad about her being alone.

Spunky, baby, Mommy is so sorry that you died alone. Love you sweetie.


Thanks for listening.

Janice
Mittens and Spunky's Mom

Dear Janice

I understand how you feel my Tillie also died at the vets alone without us there. But it has been 8 weeks now and I think I have finally come to understand why. For me this dog was so very special and well maybe I am weak but I could not have tolerated the site of her after she passed or had been strong enough to make a very diffucult decission to put her down. You see she was not that old 11 yrs it all happened very fast and well maybe she knew in her heart that I could not have done that so she chose to go in the way she did and maybe Spunky did too to spare us. Please try to find a place of peace with it I know it is hard and I still slip into the guilt of it at times but have to be thankful of the healthy memories I see.

It is such a hard thing to go through I am so sorry for your loss I know there are just no words right now to help but they say it does get eaiser I have my better days now then again some not so good days. I guess the people here are great animal lovers and we will go through loss many times in our lives I dread it I have a collie who is 15 now so ..... I know again I will be hit soon but I would not trade a day of my furbabies lives and joy to avoid this pain.


Tillie

Thanks Tillie,
Your words do mean alot. I appreciate them.

I am kind of numb right now. I am trying to keep it together. But I do miss Spunky so much. I was just in the kitchen and I swear I expected to hear her come running in hear with her little nails clicking on the floor.
I also folded a load of clothes and do miss her trying to jump in the basket before I even get them folded. Near the end, to make her happy I kept a basket in the living room and would warm up a towel in the dryer for her. She always seemed so cold. She slept on the heating vents. I was trying all kinds of food to try and get her to eat, she was so thin. I hope she knows how much we loved her.
I am sorry, I am rambling.
Are those beauties in the picture your babies? They are so sweet. The house seems so quiet and empty. I want more furbabies, but it is so soon and I feel like it isn't right to get more cats right now. I don't know.
Ahh... I have so much cleaning and straightening up to do before I should consider any more cats(kittens...at least 2 ). If I got a couple of kittens now, they would get lost amongst the clutter and I wouldn't be able to find them

I am sorry for your loss as well. This is a great place to come to for support. It is hard sometimes though, I relive losing Mittens and so I would stay away for a while. And now losing Spunky...here I am back again.

Right after I had to put Mittens down, I was watching Spunky like a hawk. I was so afraid that she was going to get sick as well and we would lose her too.

My husband and I looked at some pictures of Spunky last night and smiled and laughed and tried to remember her when she was healthy. I hope she wasn't in alot of pain at the end. I wish I was with her. Sorry...

Well. thanks for listening... again I do appreciate it.

Janice
Mittens and Spunky's Mom ...I guess I should change my login to Mittens and Spunky are gone....hey...do you know how to make a picture an avatar like you have with your furbabies??? Can you tell me how????

It's me again.....boy I just realized that it was 2 years ago last November that we lost Mittens. It does not seem that long that she has been gone....


luv you Mittens luv you Spunky

Hi let me get this out as best I can LOL To add a picture click on your name Mittens is gone then avatar options. Ok If you have a picture on your computer in your picture file you open that I think and add play around with it.

Yes those are my three girls the collie is 15 she lost so much weight after Tillie passed we are almost force feeding her but she has finally started to gain some back but her muscle mass is not good so well I guess I will face another heartbreak but I do know I will find some comfort knowing they will be together and Tillie won't be without her friend and sister. Tillie is the little one in the picture my lap loving one I miss her so. Mollie is the golden she 10 and the strong one of the 3 but also took the death of Tillie hard. We now have a new puppy named him Henry well hes very cute and very busy and active now has it taken away my heartbreak? NO but he looks to me for his needs he does depend on me to love and care for him so it keeps me going along with the other two.

This may sound very strange to some But Tillie would have NOT liked Henry she never like other dogs except the two we have here. Well the vet told me to have him fixed at 6 months old which is exactally june 27th Tillies birthday so for her present I will LOL give her a gift from him LOL!


Yesterday on the radio a Garth Brooks song came on and a line in it is think this is it " I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance" How true is that? Take care imo never ever deny yourself the wonder trust and love of another cat of couse you need to be ready it's very personal but I know for me I love my furbabies so much and could never be without. Please take care I know you hurt.

Tillie My baby I love and miss you honey !!!!!!!

Janice,

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I can completely relate to what you are going through. On 3/1 at 5:30 pm, I brought my beautiful 13.5 year old tabby, Becker (Becky) to the vet. She had been very ill (and I was afraid that I was going to need to have her put to sleep) but the vet recommended hospitalizing her to hydrate her. When I called the morning of 3/2 to check her progress, I was told she had passed during the night or morning, and I felt so terrible that she died alone in the vet's office. The responses to my post helped me a great deal. I've come to believe that she passed peacefully, and on her own terms, as she probably needed to be alone in order to pass. Would I have preferred to be with her? Of course! She had been through thick and thin with me, and I wanted to be able to do the same for her at the end. But I honestly feel she was either trying to protect me from seeing her pass, or that she was finally comfortable enough to let go. I still miss her so much, and have my good days and my bad days, but I believe she is in a much better place, happy and free of pain.

Interestingly, when I started my car to go to the vet's to say my goodbye's after I learned that she had passed, the last three lines of the Matchbox 20 song 'Disease' came on - - "I’m free of my disease, Yeah well free of my disease, Free of my disease." I cried and then sort of laughed at the same time, and said "O.k. Becky Girl, I get it."

Try to focus on the special times you had and wonderful memories you made with Spunky. May those memories comfort you.

Take good care,
Val