I just found this forum, read a few thread and feel I've found an amazing support network, where everyone is there for eachother.

This morning we had to have our 14yr old dog put to sleep. She was my partners dog, but eventually became a great family dog. Externally she had that grey/white muzzle all senior dogs get, she'd also lost a lot of weight and had a lump on her back leg. The lump split at the weekend, we bathed & bandaged it and tried to make Bam more comfy. But she didn't seem like Bam. The spark had gone. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Her energy levels were low and she had no enthusiasm for life anymore. I regcognised that 'please help me' look from 2 years ago when we had Oscar (also 14 at the time) put to sleep. Heartbreaking as it was we knew it was the right decision.
Last nught we tried to explain to our children 9yr old daughter, 4yr old son what would be happening today. We also told the school & nursery in-case of any change in behaviour. It's what we tell them tonight that's harder. Can't even remember what we said when we lost Oscar. Think I might say she's gone to play with Oscar.
The vet looked at Bam and knew what she had to do. Her nurse was really compassionate. It also turned out Bam had a slight heart mumur, low blood pressure & bad circulation. She also had internal tumors. It was time to let her go.
The house is so empty. I'm walking round in a trance. Can't remember the last time I had a decent nights sleep or a proper meal. Haven't felt like it. Did everyone else get that?
It'll be a few weeks before we collect her ashes. We have Oscars onthe dressing table. Was going to scatter them over the park, but couldn't completely let go. What I'm going to do at the weekend we're going to buy a small helium balloon and put a card on it for the kids to send to heaven.

Thanks for listening. Jeanie xx

Jeanie
My heart goes out to you and your family. I get the "empty house" feeling. Although loved ones are around, there's still a major component of your household missing! I truly believe you made the right decision to have Bam put to sleep. A lively, vibrant dog needs to be remembered that way. Just get through today, take care of yourself and the rest of your family.
Velma (Moyia's Mom)

Velma, Thanks for your kind words. With all the chaos of family life, we've got a 9yr old daughter & a 4yr old son, the house seems strangely quiet & empty. I'm still walking around the space where Bam used to sleep. My other half isn't sure about having her ashes, I'd really like to keep them. But he wants to plant a tree/rose bush in her memory.

This poem was sent by a friend. It's truly beautiful and I was in tears well before I'd finished reading it. Have you heard it before?

FROM FRIEND TO FRIEND

You're giving me a special gift,
So sorrowfully endowed,
And through these last few cherished days,
Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing
When your best friend is in pain,
And understanding earthly acts
Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,
Beyond, into your soul,
I see in you the magic, that will
Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,
Is why I look to you today,
To do this thing that must be done,
For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,
And chose you as my friend,
And why I've loved you all these years...
My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,
You're giving, means to me,
It gives me back the strength I've lost,
And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,
For that is what friends do.
And know that what you do is right,
For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,
And through your hand I feel,
The courage that's within you,
To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
Once more a strong and steady dog,
My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,
For I won't be far away,
Forever here, within your heart,
And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,
Your ever faithful friend,
And in your memories I'll run,
...a young dog once again

The poem is absolutely beautiful. I was crying as well before the end. It's a poem of truth. So remember, you made the right decision. If you ever doubt yourself, read that poem again. It takes real strength to do what you did for your Bam.
As for her ashes, take your time. We buried Moyia in our yard by the garden. She loved to lay there under a bush when I'd be working in the garden. When I look out my kitchen window, I'm able to see her resting spot.
Keep going and take care. It is a sad time, I know. Thinking of you and your family.

(Velma) Moyia's Mom

I can't imagine the strength and love it must take to make that final decision for your pet. It's very brave. What you did for Bam was an act of total compassion and caring. But I can imagine how terrible this feels. We lost our little furry love two days ago in a freak accident so the cir%%stances are different but the empty feeling sounds a lot like what I'm going through.

I also haven't slept or eaten well at all since this happened. I find that I don't know what to do with myself, did you have that as well?

I feel the urge to do something so I won't think about what happened, but whatever I try to do seems wrong and I just end up thinking about our baby kitty more. This is the first time in my life I've allowed myself to sob in public, I would have never been okay with having strangers see me cry, but now it doesn't seem to matter to me at all.

It's increadible how painful losing a pet can be but I know we'll all get through it somehow.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

topaz,
My best friend gave me a poem after Sasha died. It was a poem that she had written based on another poem that she had found but didn't know who wrote it. She said she had 'tweeked' it a bit to fit my situation with Sasha. She said she knew it was how my Sasha would feel, so it meant a lot to me. It is obviously from this poem because they have some of the exact same parts in it. If you know who wrote it I would love to know. It has been my crutch since I lost my girl, and I even put it in her memorial I made for her.....I like to think she really does feel that way. That poem should be read by every pet owner who has ever had to make the decision to euthanize, which is why I made it so it would be at the bottom of every post I made here. I wanted everyone to have the opportunity to read it and hopefully get the same peace from it I did. We know the words to be true in our hearts, yet in our fury of grief, we would never be so kind to ourselves to think about it this way. That is the reason it has been so helpful to me....a reminder of why I made that decision in the first place. It is very special to my heart.
Thank you for posting what appears to be the original, I have searched every pet poem place I can find and have had no luck!

Your friend in grief,
Kim

Been 8 days without her now. Still can't get used to her not being here. Always used to make extra dinner, so she could have some. She really loved sweet potato mash with chopped spinach.

We had a call from the vet about Bams ashes this afternoon. It made me feel relieved our girl is coming home. I'm glad I talked my other half round to not abandoning her. Our daughter was in tears, wanting an alive Bam back. Ideally that's what we'd like, but not the way she was last week. I bet she's having a great time at the 'Rainbow Bridge' with her partner in crime, Oscar, the springer spaniel who went there January 2004.

Last Monday I was surfing different pet loss sites. There was one that had different paw-prints you could click on for different tributes to pets. It also had a part to leave tributes to human family members on it. I wa was so tired I forgot to save it. Does anybody know this site, or paid it a visit.

Topaz,

Thanks for including that poem in your first post. I printed it off and it it up by my Kasey's ashes. I read it daily. It makes me cry every single time, but also makes me feel closer to my baby. It's been 5 weeks for me and it's got easier in some ways, but the hurt is still there and will be forever. Hopefully, it will turn to fond memories and I will no longer cry when I think of him, only continue to miss him until I see him again.

Sorry for your loss.

Mary

Kmom, Kasey looks so much like our Bam. I was sorry to read of your loss. Sending you hugs from one furmummy ro another. I agree that poem is beautiful, but heard to read without crying in the early days. We're going to give a copy of it to the vet when we collect Bams ashes. Don't really like saying that. Prefer to say when we collect Bam. I know they have a few copies of different poems, but we're not sure if they have that one.

What a wonderful poem and of course couldn't get through half of it without crying. I think I'll print it and make some minor changes (dog to cat) but in the end the message remains the same.

Bam still isn't back with us. My other half is still undecided about the return of her ashes. If she doesn't come home she'll be cremated with other pets whose owners didn't want them back and scattered at the pet cemetery. I don't want that to happen to our baby.

You have Oscar, why not Bam too?

You might want to consider having Bam's ashes returned to you. Then, if it's too tough for him to deal with, you can always scatter her ashes at the Pet Cemetery yourself later. At least that way you won't have the possible regret of not having her back home at all.

Just a thought,
Tim

I totally agree with Tim. Why not have Bam's ashes as well? You can change your mind later if you and your other half choose to do so. Does your spouce have a particular reason for not wanting Bam's ashes? I guess its hard to realize that even our spouces have diifferent ways of grieving and maybe his reason is as valid as yours. Just my own opinion, but wait until you can agree on Bam's ashes on what to do with them, ( if time permits). Am I making any sense at all?
Take care
Velma(Moyia's Mom)

Tim & Velma,

Thanks for your support. The reason we have Oscar already is he was my dog before we met, and Bam belonged to my other half. I knew when Oscar went to the Rainbow Bridge that I'd want his ashes returned. I'd rather decide on what to do with her ashes once they're here, than not have them and regret it. The vets nurse who has been dealing with Bam has been brilliant. She's so patient and understanding and told me wer're not the only family to take time to decide what to do. She was also with us when Bam went.

Jeanie