Yesterday we took my cat Spike to the vet. He's been losing weight (we were away from home when this started) and so I thought -- I don't know what I thought. I thought it was nothing. I thought they'd give him a pill.

Instead, we have to take him at 2:10 today to be put to sleep. He has a tumor along with a heart problem (that precludes both surgery and chemo) and his lungs are filling with liquid. He's not getting better.

Spike has been my companion and best friend for 12 years.

I don't know how I'm going to live without him.

He's sitting here next to me, obviously uncomfortable, not wanting to cuddle as he used to. I know this is best for him. I know it is. I just don't know how to get through it myself.

I dreamed last night that all was well.


--- Jeannette

Jeannette,
I am so sorry to hear about your kitty Spike. I know exactly how you feel, I had to have my 20 yr old cat Alex put down on 1/16/06 (a day I will never forget) I love her so much, she was everything to me. I know its a hard decision to make. You be strong for him at the vets, you tell him what a good boy he is and that you love him and you will see him at the bridge where he is going to be healthy and playing with other kitty cats.

You may not know how you will possibly get the strength to do it.....but you will...because you love him and you are a good mommy to Spike and you know this is whats best for him....and he knows that .....and he loves you too.

Please come back to this site when you feel up to it and let us know how you are doing. We all know what you are going through....the hurt....the pain....the emptiness.

I will be thinking and praying for you and Spike.

Annette

Oh Jeannette! My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine what you are going through right now.

You are doing exactly the right thing for sweet Spike, although it hurts like hell.

When Spike does pass from his body, although you will be missing him terribly, his spirit will be fine and he will only be aware of bliss---no physical or emotional pain, like the excruciating pain that comes from separation and grief. And when it is your time to pass from your body, you'll be joining him. It will seem like no "time" to Spike because he'll be in the realm where there's not that sense of time passage. In the meantime, you will survive and you'll be able to give love again (to some lucky furchild , in honor of Spike ) even though right now it feels as though your heart has been ripped out.

I hope you keep in touch here and let us know how things went....... and how you are doing!! We'll be here for you.

I'll be thinking of you and Spike---especially at around 2:00.
Love,
Kathy

Jeannette I'll be thinking of you this afternoon. I feel for you as this happened to me in January. As Annette indicated be strong for your boy and show and say how much you love him. It's just so hard and I know you're hurting right now. Know that you are doing the right thing and that he loves you too.
Please let us know how you're doing when you feel up to it. Come here for support, to cry to grieve. We are all going through it so we know exactly how you feel.

Saying prayers for you and Spike -

Chris

Thank you all for your thoughts.

Spike died in my arms this afternoon, went to sleep. My husband spent an hour in the sleet digging him a grave in a rocky New England hillside, in a copse of trees on a friend's property. It's near a brook and the trees will be filled with birds in the spring... a cat couldn't ask for a nicer resting-place. We stopped at the Abbey on our way home and I told my mother (who also died of cancer) that she'd better take care of my boy for me.

And now my life feels so empty... I wonder when I'll stop howling with the pain of it all...

(BTW -- I meant for my forum name to read "angevine," a name I use a lot --- I was crying so hard when I was typing before that the extra letter slipped in unnoticed.)


Thanks again. Reading your kind words truly did help me through the afternoon.

--- Jeannette

Jeanette -

I feel for you. This what happen to my cat in December.

It was surreal the first couple of days. Went to work for a couple of hours. Had to leave. Was crying all the time. And I just hurt. My wife was upset and basically it was a mess.

It got to the point later that I could at least talk about my ricky without breaking out in tears. Don't get me wrong, I still miss her and I think about her almost everyday.

I did bury her on my property - right where me and my wife can look out our window and see her whenever we need too. It is very peacefull there and we got a marker for her. (have to wait for ground to harden up).

Everyone will be different, but you will get by - just think about all the good times with your Spike. And if you have to you can go visit her.

I hope the best for you.

woody

I'm so sorry, I know how much it hurts. Come to this site as often you need to and share your thoughts, we've all been there and while we can't take the pain away we definately can share it with you.
The love never dies...