My beautiful 13.5 year old cat Becker (Becky, Becky Girl), who was the sweetest cat in the world, and the epitome of a lady, sadly passed away either the evening of 3/1/06 or the morning of 3/2/06. The vet didn't realize she was as ill as she was, although I sensed the end was near, and I was painfully prepared to have her put down, comforting her to the end. But, I got my hopes up by the vet's assessment, and decided to go along with his recommendation to hospitalize Becky to hydrate her. When I called the vet's office the next morning at 8:30 am (on 3/2) to check on my baby, I was told the terrible news that she had passed away. They told me when I arrived that she appeared to pass peacefully, as she was found curled up in the sleep position with a peaceful look on her face, and had not struggled with her IV. The shock I felt at hearing the news was unbelievable. My heart broke to learn that she had passed, but I felt and still feel so terrible that she died alone, and I am so afraid to think that she might have thought that I just left her. I don't even know the actual date she died. My heart is broken, I miss her so, and I feel so bad that I wasn't able to be there for her when she passed, as she had always been there for me.

Val Im so sorry about your cat. I feel the same way you do. I cant stop thinking that my best friend must have thought that I left him there at the vets office , I think I would feel better if I was at least there with him. I dont know why I thought this site was going to make me feel better since I got on here I havent stopped crying. I will tell you this I am a Christian and I believe with all my heart our cats are in heaven and we will see them again someday.

Val,
I am so sorry about your little Becker. I lost my Tortie Baby 2 weeks ago, and it seems like there is no stop to the pain. But someday it will get better. Just don't feel guilty, Becker wouldn't want you to torture yourself for not being there. If it is any help, many times Furries try to die alone, but we are the ones that insist that we be with them. I saw this the night my Simple became so sick, if she could have gotten away from me she would have, but it was so frightening to see her suffering that I was the one that kept chasing her down. If anything, I feel guilt at not letting her be hidden and peaceful like she wanted to be. So Becker probably did go peacefully to sleep, never knowing any fear or pain.
Please be good to yourself, because even though we can't see them, our FurBabies can see us.
Cindi

Val,
I just wanted to say how sorry I am about your kitty. I know you were doing everything you could for her and that is a noble thing, but sometimes it is just out of our hands. So many people find themselves feeling the way you do when their furbabies pass on without anyone by their side, but the fact of it is that this is another situation that people try to apply their own feelings and emotions to, and that just isn't realistic. See, animals don't see death as we do. They don't have the fears of the unknown as some people do. To them it is nothing more than a transition, and they have absolutely nothing to fear from it. They don't try to rationalize it, they don't have to make any ammends, they are perfect, sinless, beings that have a 'free ride' to heaven, and they all so much deserve it. You will see her again one day, but in the meantime, find peace in knowing that your girl felt no fear, and was able to go in her own time on her own terms....peacefully....
Your friend in grief,
Kim

Oh Val,

I am so sorry for your loss !!!!!!! I am imagining the horrible heartbreak you felt when you learned.

Cindi had an EXCELLENT point !! Cats usually do prefer to pass on their own---nature tells them to do it this way. So, I really doubt she felt "alone" in a bad sense.

And remember--you decided to give it another try, when the vet suggested hydration. Your love for Becker is so obvious.

Try and take good care of yourself,

Kathy

Val, so sorry about your girl. My heart goes out to you. I can understand completely wanting to be there for your cat. But as Kim R stated, we tend to put our emotions on the situation. You did your very best for your kitty and that's all anyone can do. We try so hard to do everything for them but nature always wins.
Just take comfort in knowing you had a beautiful life with her. Remember all of the wonderful memories you made with her, as that is what counts, not the end.

Take care

Joanna, Cindi, Kim R, Kathy and Phinny 1,

You have no idea how much I appreciate your responses, and how much comfort they have brought me. Your insights have helped me look at the events leading up to Becker's passing from different perspective, and this has helped me begin the road to healing. You've really made a difference, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Val

Hi. Well, I'm new, I wasn't expecting to jump right in and start posting, but this completely broke my heart! I have a lot of respect for you already, Val, for knowing that the end was near and still doing everything you could to try and give your girl just a little more time to spend with you. That's an agonizing decision and I can already tell you're a person who loves her animals very much.

For what Joanna had said about what the pet must have been thinking when their best friend left the vet's, I want to say that just those words made me feel so good in a way. When I had to put my dog Tyler to sleep two years ago, that was one of the major things I agonized about, what he was thinking when he saw us leave...and I never thought that anyone else felt that way or thought like that. I'm crying right now, I'm just so relieved!

My complete sympathy, Val, you're enduring one of the worst losses that a person can ever suffer. Thank God there's a place like this so no one has to suffer alone!

Maureen,

I'm glad that the responses to my posting have brought you comfort as well. Thanks so much for your kind words of support! They honestly mean the world to me. And, I'm in total agreement that we are very fortunate to have this forum to share our stories and our grief, as well as support and comfort each other.

Val