Hi Everyone

I just found this site while surfing for some kind of support/help in my situation. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost a pet. I really don't think people acknowledge this type of loss enough.

I got married in December, and I had to leave Ohio & move to NYC to be with my husband. I've lived at home all my life, and I have a tight family. All that were left at home was me, my mom & dad, and my cat Besan. I finally got landlord approval at my new apt in NY to bring Besan, & took him to the vet & got sedatives for the 11-hour drive. Moving day came, and I followed instructions & gave him the pill 1 hour b4 departure. Upon giving it to him, he became totally disconnected, started toppling over, lost control of his back legs, etc. I was hysterical & very scared because I thought that the pill wasn't working correctly - I thought I'd just give him the pill & he'd fall asleep. Well, he wasn't sleeping, just losing muscle control & falling & breaking my heart. I was already a wreck because of the move & having to leave my parents - so this really threw me over the top. I put him into the carrier thinking he'd fall asleep soon, but the meows he was making were just shattering me. Eventually, I let him out of the carrier & decided I couldn't take him on the drive like this. Well, I left without him - worried sick, but, the sedatives eventually worked & about an hour later he fell asleep & stayed asleep for 12 hours. I'm still very upset that the vet didn't explain to me exactly what would happen w/ the pill when I gave it to him; I could've had my cat here with me, instead, I thought I harmed him & had to leave him at home to recover w/out the trauma of a car ride.

So, here I am in NYC & this has been the hardest, biggest adjustment of my life. Husband works 12 hours everyday, and sleeps at work the following weeks. Im' always alone in a big city where I know noone & have nothing to do. I'm so terribly lonely, and, I miss my family so much - but, I so miss my baby too. That was my little buddy - wherever I went, he went too. So, you're probably thinking, why not bring him here, right?

I just don't know if moving him to NYC would be a good move for him. He's mostly an indoor cat, but really enjoys our big backyard in Ohio. He loves to lay in the grass in the sun, chase the birds, wriggle around on the pavement ... what would he do cooped up in this little tiny apartment? I don't have windowsils for him to sit on, so he wouldn't even be able to look outside. Also, he sheds a lot - and that doesn't matter in a big house w/ a lot of furniture, but I just have 1 bed & 1 couch here, everything would be covered in fur. Also, I'll be going home to Ohio every couple months - where would I leave him for that week when I go away? He's so used to people because we have such a high-traffic home, what would he do by himself all day when I Find a job? These are the things I think about when I contemplate bringing him to be w/ me in NY, and therefore I just don't think it'd be a good move in his best interest. Mom says he's depressed w/out me. Mom & dad love him, but noone pays attn to him/plays with him like I do. He was truly my buddy.

I feel like my heart is just breaking - I miss him so much. I know this sounds crazy, but I even think I see him sometimes!! It freaks me out! lol. What's a girl to do? Even if I get another kitty here, I still have the issue of what I'd do with him when I leave town. What to do? Thanks for listening.

~Sad in NYC

Seems destiny took the decision out of your hands and new where the best place for Besan was.

Its hard enough getting married and having to do all the things your mum did for you but to move so far away from your family and your friends is extra hard and obviously very lonely if you husband is working 12 hour days – goodness.

I take it your looking for a job? In the meantime why don’t you do some charity work it will get you out and help you to meet new people, maybe even an animal sanctuary?

I must say I think Besan is better off where he is – at home – and you will see him every time you go home for a visit, of course its going to be hard leaving again I know but you will soon settle in and get a life going, in the meantime enjoy your own space, if your anything like the rest of us youll be wishing you had 5 minutes to yourself before you know it.

Good luck in your new life.

Love Sue