First, let me say that I am deeply sorry for everyone who has lost a pet. I know the terrible grief and pain that accompanies this type of loss. I am on this site because I really need to express and share my experience. I have been looking for a pet loss support group that meets in my area, but thus far, have found only one group. They meet only once a month, and their next meeting isn't until March 15. I need support now, and hope that my posting provides some relief or comfort.

This past Saturday, I lost my second cat in 11 months. My beautiful red tabby Ginger was euthanized. Ginger was a 13-14 year old cat that weighed almost 29 pounds at the time of her passing. She should have weighed 10-12 pounds. Ginger had been on prescription diet cat food for about 9 years and had maintained a weight of 20 pounds for most of that time. But, over the past few years, her weight slowly increased, until she lost almost all of her mobility. Nothing could be done to resolve the problem. I did everything I could to accomodate her excessive weight problem, but eventually her quality of life became unacceptable. Ginger was the second cat in 11 months that I had euthanized. In March of 2005, my 20-year old cat Pavlov lost his life due to illness and old age. Ginger helped me to get through the incredible pain and loss that I experiened at that time. But now, I have noone to help me get through Ginger's loss. For the first time in almost 20 years, my house is devoid of cats. And for the first time in my life (I'm almost 43), my house has no other living creature except me. I am single and have no children. My cats were everything to me. Pavlov was with me for 18 1/2 years, and Ginger was with me for 11 years. They both saw me through countless transitions in life and offered the unconditional love and support that pets do. Since Pavlov died last March, I have been very depressed. With the passing of Ginger now, I am just trying to make it through each day. I know that in time, the pain of Ginger's loss will become less acute, as has occurred with the loss of Pavlov. But, I wonder if I will ever really feel the joy and happiness that I felt when I had my beloved guardian angel felines with me?

God Bless everyone in their time of need.

Sandy

Dear Sandy,
Keep in mind that the love doesn't die, their spirits are still with you and the love is just as strong as it ever was. I know what you are going through, well partially. I lost my three fur babies over a period of 2 years. I still miss them terribly. They were there for so many important times in my life and there was so much love, comfort and laughter. I have a 2 1/2 year old kitty now and although I got him 4 months after Zody's death it was much too soon for me. It took me awhile to be able to bond with him. But now I can't imagine my life without him. He was there for me when Spicey died last August and then Nymph in September. In fact he made himself briefly sick from the stress of it all.
I can't imagine having a completely empty house. I would encourage you, when you feel the time is right to just go for a visit to your local animal shelter. I have been going since December every few weeks, every so often one kitty will come to me and I'll think about it. Then I go back a week later to see the kitty again and he/she has already been adopted - so I keep doing that knowing that when the time comes when I'm ready - the kitty I consider will still be there when I go back. This way I go in with no pressure on myself until I know I am ready.
Hugs...

Samhaincat,

Thank you very much for your reply. It gives me comfort to know that others understand what I'm going through and are supportive in my time of need.

Take care,

Sandy

Dear Sandy:

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been through a year like that - where I lost an outside cat to coyotes (he was 15 and my buddy - but he just would not come inside - he hated it) then his simbling - a West Highland White Terrier of the same age (they were best pals for so long) passed of old age and then my chihuahua. The pain of one was intense, the passing of them in quick succession over that year kept the pain constant and intense. It was the most difficult time of my life - and I have been in combat several times. I prefer the combat.

What bothers me most is that you are alone with no one to talk to. In my work, I communicate with many of my readers who find themselves in the same situation as you. In fact, often I speak with men or women who have spouses and large families, but because no one understands their pain, they are quite alone.

You need someone to speak to, to talk about Ginger with, to help. Please consider me a friend and someone you can confide in. I am well known on the internet as a pet loss support resource - my time is free and anyone who needs to talk or just ask questions about my work, or whatever - they are welcome to contact me as often and as long as they like. I always respond personally and quickly. If you feel uncomfortable talking with a man, I have several women around the country and in Canada who are willing to be a friend.

Please consider it. No one should have to go through this type of pain alone.
My e-mail is probably in my profile, but if you can't find it, it is Gkurz007 on aol.

Dear Sandy,

I am so sorry for your loss. Ginger & Pavlov are two very lucky kitty cats to have had such a loving parent like you. (I say "are" because the love will always be there). I know how hard it is to have to make that decision to put them down. I had my cat Alex for 20 years when I had to put her down last month. Like you, I am 40 yrs old and single with no kids. So she was everything to me. Saying goodbye was so hard. I still cry myself to sleep every night. Sometimes before bedtime I just stand there looking at my bed crying because I still can't believe she is not there. The saddness and emptiness seems unbearable at times, but I know thats part of grieving and I just have to ride it through.

But through the tears, I always thank God for letting me have her that long. Even without children, I still got to experience "being a mommy" and thats good enough for me.

Please visit this site often, I don't reply very much....I just come to read, and its helping me alot. We are your support. We know the hurt & pain.

In time I know I will feel the joy and happiness again, but I think it will be a "different" kind of joy & happiness......

All of our "Kids" are in a very good place now, and they are happy and healthy.

Take good care of yourself
God Bless

Annette

Good Morning ~ I am so sorry for your losses Sandy ~ and my heart goes out to you ~

I was just reading Annette's remark



This is what I hope for in time also ~ we are a great comfort to one another in the meantime ~

Many days I visit this site and cannot emotionally respond yet I am grateful beyond words for the comfort, support and understanding that I find here through others.