my beautiful cat pauline was put to sleep last Friday. She had been diabetic for the 8 years and had become the center of my household. Everything evolved around her needs, her life. I found her agonizing on the floor from an insulin shock. I had always been there when this would happen. I feel so guilty for giving her that shot that morning. I should have known better. She had eaten less than usual. I should have skipped the shot. I feel like a murderer and just the thought of her lying there for hours is a pain I cannot live with. I am told this was her time, that it is not my fault. She was frail and life was not good for her anymore. But God do I wish she had died in her sleep, any which way but because of me. She was the light of my life. Can anyone help me?

lesly

Hi Lesly I am so very sorry for your loss of Pauline, one thing I have learnt in my days of visiting this site is that everyone does their very best for their furbabies.
None of us are perfect but obviously anyone who hurts so bad as we all do has loved their babies with all of their heart.

You did your very best for Pauline and she knows that. You gave her eight years of love and devotion please try not to focus on that one day.
If you read through the posts here you will see that most people feel guilt in one way or another. I felt so very guilty in the first few days of my Holly passing, that has now gone as I realize the focus of my guilt was not being able to save her, which I can now see that I couldn't have done, no matter what

. I felt alot of guilt because I gave her a drink of water and then she had a gasping attack. My mind mulled over, "what If I hadn't given her that water", which I now see was not clear thinking.

Give yourself some time to come to terms with losing Pauline and try not to beat yourself up for something you did with the very best of intentions because you were a loving Mom to her.

Take care Lesly.

Kaylee

I'm seeing that a lot of people (like me) feel guilty and responsible for their pet's death. The thing is, we can't blame ourselves because we are not the ones who choose when it's anyone's time to go.
Still, I'm sorry you miss your friend Pauline so much. The most important thing is that her suffering is over and she is in a better place. I write this missing my own cat and knowing that none of this can bring back our little buddies which is, ultimately, all we wish for. Still, stay strong and remember the love.

Peace and love
Scarlett

I know all about the guilt that you are feeling. I still feel guilty over Jake. When the vet brought Jake in to me to say goodbye, he seemed to perk up, and I thought, oh, my god, I am a heartless monster. The thing that I still keep seeing is Jake fighting the final needle. The vet tells me that he was dehydrated and they had to inject fluids by needles into his skin.. I do remember feeling the bumps all over him. I feel still like Jake thinks that I didn't love him and that I was just giving up on him. I know that he was sick and he wasn't going to pull out of it, that the battle was too much for him... Sometimes I still beat my self up about it... I loved him so much, and the pain is stil so great and fresh...

Sandi

Lesly I'm so sorry for your loss. I know we all say this but really, don't feel guilty for what happened. You did what you thought was the right thing. As a loving owner you've taken care of her for 8 remarkable years. Concentrate on the good times and the fact that you had that special being in your life for so long.
Don't beat yourself up about what happened because I'm sure pauline felt your love and support for all of that time and that is the greatest gift you can give.

Forever Jake - You're not a monster. You did what any responsible owner would do. I had another cat put down about 2 years ago. She fought at the end to0. But you have to remember it's their instinct to try and stay alive. You and the vet knew it was his time and he wouldn't make it. You made a humane desicion to end his pain. Think about the good times you had with Jake and how he came into your life.

Take care both of you.