Yesterday, my kitty kid, Soshi, died of a brain tumor - a non-operable lymphoma that had branched out into her brain. We couldn't consider radiation b/c she was 16 and diabetic (this would have kept her in the hospital for another month). She began to have seizures yesterday morning and my husband and I went to say goodbye. The vet helped her to go to sleep...she was in pain when we arrived, with blood on her nose and tongue...I think she was just waiting for us to come. All I want to do is cry and my house is so empty without her. I miss her so much.
She was the coolest cat - warm and social, she loved everyone! She would sit on your lap for hours to be petted, and her purr was loud like an airplane. My husband, a proclaimed dog person and allergic to cats, loved her like his kid. He'd carry her around like a baby, perched on his shoulder.
I know the pain will get to be less, but it really hurts right now. I'm angry, too. I want her back!

brandyand soshi,
I'm so sorry for your loss - losing a family member (cause that's what our pets are) is such a hard thing to go through and feel like you'll survive. It sounds like you and your family gave Soshi a wonderful life and it's a tribute to you all that you could let her go without her having to experience more pain. I'm not sure I could be so brave if I were faced with the same decision, but I'm sure Soshi knows what's in your heart and would understand and appreciate it. It will be a difficult time for you and your family as you adjust to a life without such a beloved pet, and the sadness and anger, and all kinds of other emotions, are all a part of it. Please let us know how you're doing - I've found that this forum is a very healing outlet for these sad feelings. Take care - Barbara

Brandy-take comfort in the many loved filled years you and Soshi had to spend together in this lifetime. i have lost a couple of older cats recently; Joey(age 17) and Muffin(age18). it was very hard to watch them grow progressively older and waste away before allowing them to peacably enter their new journey. i'll bet right now the 3 of them and their MANY new friends are running around like young kittens, playing in the sunshine, waiting for the day when we will be allowed to be with our beloved friends again. you and your husband are in my prayers and you both have an innumerous number of supportive friends here on this wonderful site that can empathize with you in your grief. keep close to this site in your weakest moments. somehow, by comforting another lost soul through their sorrow will in turn lessens your pain. love, ron in pa :]

Thank you, Barbara and Ron, for your prayers and support. Today was a little easier, and I keep thinking of the things Soshi did that would make me laugh. Like on Friday, before she died, she hopped on my yoga mat (as I was doing yoga) and sat down...just things like that.
My house still feels really empty, but knowing that so many others understand my pain and sorrow helps tremendously. I'm also glad that my Soshi is happy again, and I know I will be with her again one day.
Thanks again,
Brandy