"WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME?" A thread started by: SHADDED DREAMS



Hi Everyone:

This is another post that I found in our old threads, but the most wonderful, caring advice is right here.....

I know that "When is the right time for another furbaby", is definitely something to think about. And, we are all
different people......
Some are ready, (really ready) right away, and some.....not for awhile......... And, there are some for which another furbaby just is not an option.....

I hope that by bringing back this thread, it will help some of you to think about your choices.....

God Bless!!

Love, Denise, Ben, Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster xo


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Just a short note to let you all know I still have my moments, but things are getting easier everyday. I find that the more I do to memorialize my beloved Zipper, the easier it gets! I don't want to ever forget him. I will love him forever and ever.
For all of you who have gotten new fur babies after the devistating loss of one, how did you know? How do I know when the right time is? I have been looking at Sheltie rescue sites, and at the humane society and animal control, and on petfinder.com. But how do I know? I feel kinda ashamed that I don't have my Zippers remains back yet, and I am looking. Am I trying to replace him, and I just don't realize it? NOONE could ever replace my Zipper!! I know that consciously, but sub consciously do I? Have any of you gotten the same breed as a new furbaby? Is that a bad idea? Will I cry every time I look at my new furbaby? I was hoping to get one sometime after April 1st. After I come back from vacation. What are your thoughts on this topic? Please help me out with your personal experiences? I just can't help but feel a twinge of guilt. But then I think of the saying "give it to another like me, and then I will live forever." What do you guys think? I saw another sheltie on line last night that was available, it was a blue hued sheltie, and his name was Zipper!!! Can you believe that?? I told my husband NO WAY. NO WAY could I have another sheltie and have its name be ZIPPER wether is came that way or not!! Thanks for any advice you can give me, I really appreciate it. Zippers momma

Hi Zipper's Momma

I'm struggling with the same issue as you...I really want another dog, not only for me but for our surviving dog as well. When I first lost Megan (Jan. 8/04) I thought that there was no way that I'd ever get another dog. But now I find myself looking in the paper for puppies. The only thing holding me back is my husband. He DOES NOT want another dog. I asked him if it was just for now or forever, and he said probably NEVER. So now what do I do?

Everyone here who has gone on to get new fur-babies sounds so happy. It sounds as if you either just know when the time is right or you just take a leap of faith that everything will work out.

Good luck,
Tracey

I can only speak from personal experience and say that when you are ready, you'll know when its time to let another furbaby into your heart. I'm sure Zipper would appreciate knowing that you are willing to adopt one of his brethren. I'm sure he lived a very happy and beloved life and what better way to honor that love than by starting a new friendship...


Nyte

Hi Everyone:

I can only speak from personal experience, so here goes.....

Lots of you probably know about our beloved girl, Ernestine. She was put to sleep on 2/7/2004 at noon. She was very, very ill. I know that she is over Rainbow's Bridge, she is without pain, she's eating; gained her weight back. She's just not sick anymore. She is in the loving care of St. Francis, and when either Ben or I pass over ourselves, we'll all be a family again - along with ALL OUR OTHER FURBABIES WHO HAVE GONE ON BEFORE HER.

On that Saturday, 2/7/2004, after Ernie Bird was put to sleep.....I was sick... I was so sad!!! I said, (and, I really, really meant it), " I WILL NEVER GET ANOTHER ANIMAL AGAIN.... I DON'T WANT TO LOVE AGAIN, ONLY TO LOSE... I COULD NEVER GO THROUGH THIS PAIN AGAIN... NO WAY..NEVER!!!! " I was sooooo adamant!!!!!

I missed my girl soooooo much. Everything hurt; head, heart - I couldn't move; it was like I was paralyzed. I COULD NOT STOP CRYING.....

Everyone here knows just how grateful I am that I found this site....TO THINK....THIS COMPUTER WAS DELIVERED TO BEN & I ON 12/31/2003.....WE HAD NO COMPUTER; NO WAY TO E-MAIL........ What made us purchase this computer, at this time? Sure, we had always wanted one, but I TRULY BELIEVE Ernie had "her paw" in it!!!! Might she have known she was going to be leaving us soon & wanted her mommy to have a nice place to go, like LS, to shared my feelings - talk & cry..... I'd like to think so!!!

I cried for a long time; especially reading everyone elses posts on here.....reading how people got from week 1 to week 2, and then on from there..... It was a HUGE surprise to me when I first heard myself LAUGH!!!

I went between laughing & crying....Please, don't ever be afraid to show your true feelings... God made us "human people" with something called emotions..... If I happened to be out to dinner & had a huge lump in my throat, because of missing my girl, I just started crying.... I needed that release.

Crying, the tears, that is the true way to heal our broken hearts!!!

After 2 & 1/2 weeks, since I had a computer & the "silence in this house was DEAFENING....", I started looking through all of the shelter ads in & around our area..........................

I was getting "hungry" (looking at all the photos -- the pictures were "screaming" at me!!) .... The pictures of all these poor little homeless kittens, "teens" & "geriatric" furbabies were killing me. Made me sad; made me want to adopt all of them.....

I'd call, e-mail....."is so & so still available????" I was going absolutely crazy!!!!
Ben & I had discussed this...... He too wanted to adopt a couple of furbabies....

SOOOOOOOOO, on 3/6/2004, we adopted 2 "teen" furbabies.... Lucy & Yo-Yo. We were told that Lucy was 5 and Yo-Yo was 6 years old. Girl & boy ---- previous housemates; 3 of their other housemates are at the shelter, waiting to be adopted....

Our baby Ernestine (my girl since I was 23 years old), was a "tortie" calico.... and, for some reason, I just loved that coloring. Torties are known sometimes, for a "bad attitude"; sort of..... Ernie had her own ways.... Not a lap cat... didn't like to be picked up "for a long time"... I loved my girl more than anything!!! She was my precious baby girl!!

But, Lucy is a Tortie..... If you didn't see her face, you would SWEAR that it was Ernie Bird, when she a younger & healthier kitty... My Ernie had more white & tan, in the face & neck area. Lucy has much more black.
Yo-Yo (? Ma) is a beautiful gray male; very beautiful (or, should I say, handsome...) Very much so!!!

Lucy has a great disposition, as does our Yo-Yo... Lucy is very sweet to humans, but not always to her wonderful lil' housemate, Yo-Yo. Yo-Yo is smaller than Lucy, he's kind of afraid of her. I worry about him, because he doesn't stand up for himself.....but, there's a 4 & 1/2 pound weight difference. I hope they "sort" out whatever their problems are -- Maybe, one just needs to be "head of the house", and Lucy is going to be the kitty to be just that!!! We've never owned 2 at one time - so, it's a new experience for all of us....

Do we love them & did we get attached real quick??? Yep, we sure did!!! No question AT ALL!!!! We have never owned a "lap cat", never mind two of them. They come to bed with us.... They sleep on our heads....

I think that their "purring motors" were put in at the HUMMER FACTORY. SOOOOO LOUD, BUT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SOUND!!

I had my girl for 16 & 1/2 years before Ben joined us - I loved my girl so very much.. I think I've gotten that through loud & clear with all my posts....

I talked to a few people on this site about adopting a new kitty or two..... Ben & I just had tooooo much love in our hearts NOT TO SHARE IT WITH A COUPLE OF FURBABIES....

And, like Nyte just stated in the above post, "what better way to honor that love......" In my mind, THERE IS NO BETTER WAY... Really, honest to God... But, you have to be ready.

It certainly is a personal decision, and the span of time between the loss of your last furbaby, to the time that you adopt the next furbaby or two; YOU WILL DEFINITELY KNOW WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT...YOU REALLY WILL!!!!!

Ben nor I have ever had more than one furkitty at a time ----- having two is DEFINITELY A LOT DIFFERENT!!!!!!
We truly feel like parents..... Lucy is a bit rougher, (well, more than a bit) than Yo-Yo. It scares me. I hope that they are happy together... I think it's a "jealousy" thing, so we both love them equally.

It's funny when one of us is sitting on the couch, and we call for Yo-Yo to come and sit on our lap......Lucy runs right over. We've never seen anything like it.... But, we'll get used to it. It's our NEW FAMILY Equal attention for both - no question there. Absolutely no favoritism; but, we are definitely in the class, "Owners of two kitties - 101".... we have a lot to learn!!!!

I did become "panicked" over their health very early on.....Sneezing, but Lucy was also coughing. (Sort of reminded me of Ernie - don't forget the fact that they "look alike" as well). A trip to the vet's told us that she has asthma.
We'll be going back for an injection of Depo-Medrol - a cousin of Prednisone.

Your heart will tell you when the time is right. We're so happy that we decided to adopt these two. Already, they've brought lots of fun into the house.... And, they are different from each other, and also, they are in no way like my litte girl, Ernie - Bird.... NO ONE WILL EVER, EVER REPLACE OUR GIRL....SHE WAS, NO QUESTION, ONE OF A KIND!!!!!

Love, Denise & Ben

P.S. RIGHT NOW, Yo-Yo & Lucy are sharing their perch "together".....very cute. I love seeing "when they share and get along". But, it's not always like that

If you want to, just do it. There is no "right time". Sometimes you MAY cry, looking at your new one, thinking of your lost one. But sometimes your new fur baby will make you forget that your heart was ever broken at all - and those moments will be wonderful.

There is no such thing as a replacement - but someone out there needs a human very much and would be oh so grateful if you would give them a chance. And give yourself a chance too.

Denise- I read your post to my question with total joy! I'm happy you found love again after such tragedy. To everyone- I picked up my Zippers cremains last night. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Actually, I feel better now that he is home! He has a whole shelf in my curio cabinet dedicated to just him!! Back to the subject. I wanted everyone to know I read a horrible story/poem on a sheltie rescue site. It is titled How Could You? It was the saddest most horrible thing I've ever read!! It talks about a teenager starting out with a puppy, and then in his 20s met the girl, who is not a dog lover. The dog goes on to say that he was ok with that, and was happy to receive any attention the master could give him. Then the dog says that the human babies came along, and he was happy to have someone to pay attention to him again, but the master no loner paid attention to him. Then the dogs says that one day master put him in the car and took him away to a place with lots of dogs and cages. Then the master left him. The dog says that for the first few days, everytime he heard a footstep outside of his cage, he ran to the front of the cage hoping it was his master, and his master had changed his mind and came back for him. He says the last time he heard footsteps, a nice lady took him out of the cage and took him to a room. Then he goes on to tell the tale of BEING PUT TO SLEEP!!! This story made me cry for an hour!! HOW COULD YOU?? Was all I could think!! I had my Zip before I had kids, but I NEVER NEVER EVER neglected him like that, and dang sure would NEVER have given him up. But you know and I know this happens out there! So, it is with pride that I announce to you in this forum: I will not be looking for a puppy!!! I will go to the animal shelter and choose one from there!!! I don't want this story to repeat its self!! This story was a big decision maker for me. If I don't choose one from the pound, then I will choose one that an owner has posted on petfinder because they no longer want them!! Thanks for listening. Any feedback or ideas are totally welcome!! Please do respond!! Thanks guys------------Zippers Momma
P.S. I have told doggie daddy that when I die, he is to cremate me and mix my ashes with my dog before I am burried! And he has promised, he will.

I have read that story, Zippers Mom, and it broke my heart too. I can't understand how people can be so callous about an animal. They would not just abandon their children, so why do it to a helpless animal that YOU took in. It depends on you for its very existence! (sorry, I know you agree with me, I just get so angry about how people can be)

Anyhow, I wanted to add my own thoughts to your original post. I don't think that any future animal that you or any of us may acquire will ever be a "replacement" The human heart has an amazing capacity to stretch and accomodate more than one person or animal to love. As it is with having more human children, you don't love the first one less when the second one comes along. Your heart expands to love them both. So it is with our animal children. You're not being disloyal or forgetting about your first pet by getting another one. It shows that you still have the ability to give and receive love again. What tribute could be more fitting to Zipper than to allow the love you have inside to be given to an animal who desperately needs a new home? I think Zip would approve. I think he'd be happy that someone else will lick your hand and nuzzle you now that he can't do it any more. I think he'd be happy that you'd no longer be so lonely.
It's been 17 days now since my Dede has gone. I miss her still. I think of her every day. Something will remind me of her (like spilling food on the floor - Teddy won't touch it but Dede was my canine Hoover - if something fell, she'd eat it, I never had to bend down and pick it up lol) Or I'll miss the sound of her stretching and making that little groan she'd make each morning. I see her leash and collar hanging from the hook still and get misty eyed. But I think she'd be glad that I am sort of ready to give more love to another dog again. I'm not saying we're going to do it immediately, but I check them out at the adoption center frequently. Honestly, if it were just me, I'd have another one by now. But the rest of the family is hesitant, some think it is disloyal, some think it is too soon, some think it's wrong to make Teddy adjust to another animal. I respect their wishes and concerns but for me, I'm ready to have another one now and give it the love it needs. I think Dede would be proud that I'm not locking my heart in misery and grief and refusing to share what's inside of it.
Good luck to you in your decision -- Zip will never be forgotten -- he'll always be in your heart and your head.

Lori

Zipper's Mom,

I just wanted to share my experience with you. As you know from my previous response... My Dusty boy has been gone for 2 weeks now and I was totally devastated! I had my sweet Dusty for 16 years and still then it doesn't seem long enough for me! I was going crazy the first week after he was gone. I would wonder around the house feeling endlessly lost ... and would catch myself looking for Dusty. I have another ##er Spaniel who is 13 yrs old and deaf and almost blind. Dusty would lead her around and take care of her all the time. This week the vet said she is now totally blind and there is nothing he can do for her... not more bad news!!! She is now lost without him by her side as well. My husband convinced me to go to a pet store and "just look" at other dogs. We had talked about getting another one later in the future, hoping that a new companion would be able to help Tiny get around again. We were not sure what breed we wanted next... I didn't think another ##er would be fair to Dusty's memory! So, I went thinking I would get a better idea of what other doggies are like and get a better feel for which one would fit our family. Well one look at this baby ##er Spaniel with big green eyes just stole my heart.

I felt so guilty as I played with him at the shop and then all of a sudden a song started playing in the background, which just happened to be a song we had dedicated to my Dusty on the new home video we just made of him! I just knew that my sweet boy was telling me it was okay to love another just as I loved him. No one will "EVER" replace my Dusty's place in my heart, but I found I still have room in my heart to love another baby until Dusty and I are able to be reunited once again. Don't get me wrong... I still cry everyday for Dusty but the pain is a little different now... more of a quiet sorrow.
My new baby "Lucky" brings back so many memories of when Dusty was a puppy and it just makes me smile... something I haven't been able to do, since he left my side.

Good Luck on your decision and please keep us posted.

DustyLove

DustyLove

Congratulations on your new fur baby. I'm not only very happy for you but a little jealous as well. My husband is refusing to get another dog. We have a surviving dog, Molly, who is very lonely. But Jeff just will not budge on this issue. I miss Megan so much and Molly is so lonely it just feels right to get a puppy. My kids (3 & 5) also miss Megan. She was their best buddy, always by their sides and in their faces Molly does not interact with them like Meg did and I think they are really missing that. We had the dogs before the people babies so my girls (people girls) have never been away from the furry girls. Meg's absence is definately felt by the entire house and I'm finding it hard to handle. I hope Jeff comes to his senses soon or I just have to go and get a puppy without his blessing. I'm the one who is the animal lover and care giver anyway.

Enjoy your new puppy and the trip down the memory lane of Dusty's puppyhood!

Tracey

Hi!

Just wanted to add that I felt like I needed a pet SO badly - I only waited three weeks, and it would have been even sooner if I had convinced my husband so. You probably feel SO empty - I know I did, and still do sometimes, without your beloved pet. I now have Horus, my newest and youngest cat, but I still miss my departed Osiris so very much. Yor new pet will not ever take the place of your lost friend, but I feel having a new pet does bring new joy. Sometimes when I look at Horus, I see things in him that remind me of Osi, and I smile. I feel like Osi is still here with me when Horus sits next to me on the couch, or when he purrs, or looks at me just so.

I wrote something about this, maybe two weeks ago - it must still be on this board somewhere. You might want to read it - it may help you sort out your feelings. Chances are, though, that you already know what's right in your heart.

Hi All:

I wanted to bring back an "older post", about "When is the Right Time, for a new pet?"......
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Our sweet, beloved girl Ernestine , was put to sleep on February 7, 2004 at the age of 19 years, 10 months.....
Yes........we were extremely lucky.....Ernie and I shared sooooo much love throughout those years, and she is ALWAYS & FOREVER IN MY HEART ......

I brought this post back because we adopted Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster quite soon after sweet Ernie was put to sleep, and I know that many people wonder "if it's right or wrong......" Whether or not to bring a new furbaby
into the family........

Well............the timing is different for all people, families, etc....

And, for us.............
We adopted our two adult furkids on March 7, 2004.........Only one month after Ernestine had gone to Rainbow's Bridge......

And, it was because we loved Ernie-Bird sooooooooooo very, very much, that we had the ability to LOVE AGAIN, and to love our new furkids as much as we did our Ernestine......

So.........to all of you who are thinking of adopting one (or more) of God's wonderful creatures, soon after your
"kids" have gone to Rainbow's Bridge........

I brought this post back for all of you......

Love, Denise, Ben, Ms. Lucy and Mr. Yoster xoxo

I just want to pipe up to say a big THANK YOU for this wonderful thread! We are getting a new kitten next week, and I've run through all the emotions discussed above...and so the thread and all of your thoughts and ideas have been EXTREMELY useful.
THANKS!
Amanda ***

Hi Amanda:

Good luck to you & your family and your new kitty......

Our kids up at Rainbow's Bridge are all together, playing together, having a wonderful time, and I know
that they all want us, their parent's to be happy down here on earth .......


God Bless You & Yours,

Love, Denise xo

p.s. Your lil' Gentlemen Sergey......what a sweet guy..... He's up at the Bridge with Ernestine...

Hey, Denise!

Thank you for your message! I bet I'm not the only one who finds your message to have the same effect as a really cheerful Hallmark card; you're so full of positive energy and it's SO contageous! THANKS!
We're getting Nando (possible name...what do you guys think?) on Monday. YIKES! We're all ready...and I think we know we're ready because we're EXCITED and counting the days down.

If your Ernestine is anything like as positive and cheerful and encouraging as her mum, then Sergey has a GREAT playmate on The Bridge!

Big hug,
Amanda ***

BUMPING THIS WONDERFUL THREAD UP RE: "WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME?"

Love, Denise (one of the Moderator's)