recently i have been feeling so guilty for loving my new furbaby ben, i feel like i shouldnt!!!!! i have grown to love ben so much in the last two weeks as the days go by i feel more and more guilty that i shouldnt have this love that i have done babybear wrong. He visited me two days ago, as i was drifting off to sleep all i could see was this bright white light and i dreamt all night about him that he is ok and that he doesnt hate me for having him put to sleep that i did the right thing. I have this friend who is in to connecting with the after life and she told me on the same day that i had the dream that babybear visited her when she was doing spooking ( i call it spooking im not sure what the right word for it is, its when they sit in a circle and commuicate with spirits!!!) he told her to let me know that he is fine with me having ben and that he is happy for me and he feels no pain and that he understands that i made the right deicsion, but im still feeling so guilty that i love ben, its not the same love but its as strong. we have to go to the vets on wednesday to register him and have a full check up, im so worried that they are going to tell me that he has something wrong with him, i just keep thinking that he is going to die and i havent had long with him, all i want is for him to be happy and healthy and i will do everything that i can but losing babybear has taught me the lesson of old age and that sometime there is nothing you can do, i hate that feeling of being helpless that there is nothing in this world that you can do for them no matter what. dont get me wrong i do not regret for one minute rescuing ben at the age he is, i know that babybear would be proud of me for giving an older cat a home and that i can love again, but i just have this feeling that i shouldnt that im not aloud to, why should i be happy when my beloved babybear is gone, the pain of him leaving hasnt gone its just duller than before and i still miss him like crazy, i have called ben babybear a couple of times i have to stop myself and think then it all comes flooding back that babybear is gone. I can truly say with my hand on my heart that i love ben with all of my heart he is wonderful so loving and chatty, but this feeling just wont leave me at the moment.

sorry for going on and on and the above probley doesnt make much sense but just typing it has made me feel a little better thanks for listening

Almost two weeks ago my sweet old dog Moses passed from natural causes in his sleep. I was so sad as this old dog taught me so much. I have had time to grieve his passing, cried often and looked over pictures of our short 6 mos together. Moe was a senior dog from a rescue program...his situation at the shelter looked bleek due to his old age and the physical limitations that come along with aging. We fell in love with him and made him part of our family. My children and I learned so much from caring for him. Now we are feeling ready to bring a new old dog in to our home. Not at all as a replacement for Moe but rather a tribute to him. I was with Moe for the two days he was peacefully passing, I held him and loved him and watched his spirit leave his physical body. I feel like he has given us a gift showing us to care for and love something that society had so easily disgarded at the end of their life. We have been in touch with the rescue where he came from and have decided to become a Harrisburg based addition of the rescue program specializing in older dogs. We will become a rescue, rehab and if necessary a hospice for these animals. I had not even thought of doing this while Moe was living. I feel as if our meeting him and caring for him was the catalyst for beginning this program and after knowing Moses, I can see his beautiful spirit moving over so another unwanted old dog could experience the same Love.
I believe that these wise animals know so much more than we as humans with egos can begin to comprehend. They are the true embodiment of Love and want us to share that with others who are needing to feel love. Bless you for giving an old cat a new lease on life!!
Enjoy your new boy knowing that your babybear is smiling down and proud of you for sharing the Love!
peace and blessings
angela

I couldn't agree more. I have so much respect for both of you for the tremendous love you are showing to these wonderful, deserving souls!

Sara, I'm sure that Babybear is thrilled that Ben is with you now and that you are able to feel so much love for him! In fact, he told you so himself! The wonderful thing about love is that the more you give, the more you have! Loving Ben doesn't detract at all from your love for Babybear! Can you really imagine anyone looking at you and saying, "Man, she really loves Ben! I guess she didn't truly love Babybear!" Of course not! That is so ridiculous. So, please stop sending yourself this silly message! Your love for Ben may be as strong, and you may love him for different reasons, but it's not wrong to love another. You are still connected to Babybear through the love you shared with him, and you always will be. Loving Ben now just enhances your life and his! That's so wonderful!

I know that this is a very difficult thing you're doing, because you're putting yourself in the position of having to feel pain again. But, that's an integral part of loving! You are such a loving person, that you're willing to risk pain in order to give a cat who has been left behind by society a happy, loving home for as long as he needs it! What an amazing gift! You should feel very proud. I know Babybear is proud of you.

Sara and Artchick, thank you both for being such wonderfully compassionate people. We can all learn so much from you!

Warmest regards,
Eliza

Babybear might have led you to Ben. Ben might have been her choice for you, knowing that you could love him. I believe that when they become part of the white light, they do not hold any recriminations or any hurt feelings. Babybear knows why you did what you had to do and loves you unconditionally - even more unconditionally than when she was on the mortal plane with you.

As for the feeling of futility about old age, helplessness and death - feeling that is what makes you human! Any of us who has lost a loved one, whether furbuddy or human, approaches giving the heart out to another living being with trepidation. After all, to love means to hurt eventually. We all fear loss. You are raw now because it has been such a short period of time since your own great loss.

Be good to yourself. Understand that Babybear is in the place that feels no more pain and is probably trying to reassure you by visiting. And don't feel any guilt for loving Ben. Ben is his own glorious creature, and will never replace Babybear. But then, when that sad time comes to say goodbye, you will grieve Ben for being Ben.

i was incarcerated for 5 days and on the 4th day my most precious friend, my 4 yr old black lab, bear, was hit by a truck out front of our home . my wife contacted our vet and was told to bring him over. he did not say he was unable or unavailable to help. when the vet arrived with his arm in a sling, he called my 85 lb dog to walk himself into his office, checked his outward appearance, said he needed ivs and fluids and care he was unable to give due to recent shoulder surgery. he recommended an animal hospital 70 miles away. he then told my dog to walk himself back to the car. more than an hour and a half later my dog was seen by another vet and my wife was told he had chest trama and he needed ivs and steroids to prepare my baby for open heart surgery (by then he was to weak for shock therapy). by then it was too late and he died before he made it to surgery.i know that the time that was wasted by our vet was the vital time that cost our bear bear his life. i don't know what to do to expose this vet's negligence of this critical time frame knowing that he was hit by a truck and needed immediate care . he should have explained that he shouldn't (couldn't) be working. he was unavailable for emergency care and she needed to go elsewhere for help. i need to ensure that this type of atrocity doesn't happen to other pet owners. i don't know how to check this vets public record to see if anyone else's pet has been needlessly lost. if anyone can advise me the proper avenues to pursue it might help my sanity to return. i have been unable to go to work , be around other people, or even allow my friends who know how much a loss i suffered to help me. most of my love and support comes from bear's kitty, josie , who is feeling the loss of her beloved friend. bear was the most gentle creature i have ever seen. im not exaggerating! he never in his 4 short years growled, showed his teeth or bit anyone. one of my friend's pit bull (who bear and i trained) would bite him repetedly while playing. all my boy would do was nudge her and sit on her - never once became agressive! up until my boy's death on nov. 4, 2005 , those 2 dogs could be left to run free at the park and bear was able to play and run with her and keep her out of trouble. my boyboy loved everyone he met (and he wanted to meet everyone)- he was a kissy boy and his tail was alway wagging. (it was a very heavy tail when it smacked against you. he would lick his kitty , sleep cuddled up with her, and upon awakening, allow her to grab his face and wash his ears and nose. i wasn't allowed any closure with him or to comfort him in his final days. i miss him so much. i feel so empty as if my heart has been ripped out. i've lost many beloved pets in my 48 yrs. as i have never been without one for too long. i lost my dad last year at this time and i took control of the situation. i loved him much and was able to deal with the grief and not go insane. i know i am alienating my wife of 18 yrs and don't know what to do to heal . any friendly cyber support will be deeply apprieciated. ron in pa

rereading all your your loving support of one another makes me love you wonderful loving souls. before i got my bear from a very abusive home, i had to make sure it was ok with my suzie puppy, my terrior mix of 15 yrs. she was in ailing health and i was not sure she could tolerate another dog. we also had at the time 2 cats who have since died at ages 17 and 18. suzy allowed bear to share her mommy and daddy ,but she made bear know who the boss was. it made her seem rejuvinated and she lived another happy 2 yrs! when i lost my last cat, joey. i didn't think i could ever own another cat, but later realized that i needed another feline companion. it didn't bother suzie and bear fell in love with his new kitty friend, josie.the two were inseperable. my two dogs had very different personalities; suzy was a protector and would bark and attack any thing she thought could harm her family. in her last yrs. her hearing was bad and she barked at imaginary intruders. bear on the other hand only barked when he wanted to alert us or he wanted to tell us something important, but he was a talker ; a whining little spoiled baby. i miss that sound soooooooo bad! bear was so trusting and loving, he didn't have it in him to hurt a fly(no, he did like to chase flies). he like to play with the ducks in the park- he'd chase them into the water but only to play with them ; they were in "his park" so they were his toys. i was in the process of moving and the 1st priority in house hunting was what would make my boy the happiest. it will be easier without having to accomodate a very large, strong, active dog , but dogs must be allowed because a canine companion is also a must. the dog must be able to live in peace with josie. an older dog might fit the situation. i only know it has to be an abused or unwanted baby. god bless you all and continue to love and cherish your pets and strengthen one another. ron in pa

I know how you feel there are so many irresponsible vets out there its unbelievable.
I would write a letter explaining your disbelief at how your beautiful bear was treated.

Time and again i read about neglect and no symbathy, i walked into the vet one day only be treated like dirt because my baby was still alive, excuse me but im here because shes having a bad day.

Maybe its the whole world that needs an attitude check these days but somehting is definately off.

IM sorry your having to go through this and maybe a letter would help someone in the future.

Love Sue