In a rough world he was my best friend. No matter how tough things got I knew I could count on my little guy. THe house just seems so empty with just me and my wife. I miss him so much it is hard to function at times. I am struggling to be interested in anything right now. We had been looking at buying a new house and it just doesn't interest me anymore as I cannot share it with my baby.

I had initially gotten Gizmo as a christmas pet for my ex. A couple months later things went bad for us she moved out asking me to keep him till she settled into a place. A year later she was asking for him and I could not let him go. Even then he was my best friend. I had ten wonderful years with him. I guess that is just a bit short of average for a Shih Tzu but it was way to short. I had taken him in at the around the first of the year to get his teeth cleaned. They did blood work and he had some kidney problems and he was a bit anemic. THe vet put him on Kidney Diet food and some iron for his blood. I had noticed that every once in awhile he would be a bit short of breath but it would quickly pass. I assumed it was age or that he had put on a few pounds. Then on Monday the 8th he was really starting to labor for breath nonstop. I took him on tuesday thinking maybe a cold as he was still a very happy boy with a good appetite. They redid bloodwork and took some xrays. I got a call tuesday afternmoon wioth the bad news that his heart was enlarged and pumping fluid into his lungs. THe bloodwork showed his kidneys were now operating well enough for the medicine. I took him in wednsday morning for a quick look and to get his lasex to clear the fluid from his lungs. When I got him home he was really laboring for breath but seemed to be doing better. At 3 I gave him his pill wrapped in turkey and he ate it. I left the house at 3:30 for some pressing errands. I got the call from my wife when she got home at 5:30 that he didnt make it.

I am sorry to ramble but I just feel so lost. I have been beating myself up over the fact that I didnt take him into the Vet sooner. I left the house for those few minutes and my best friend who was there for me no matter what died alone. I am jsut crushed. I can hardly even see the screen through my tears.

I know exactly how you feel!!!!!!! I lost my beloved sheltie Zipper to congestive heart failure on March 6th. It happens so fast!! I thought the same way you did.....if I'd payed more attention, maybe I would have noticed that he was breathing hard earlier, and I could have fixed him sooner. The horrible truth is, if I would have taken him sooner, they might not have done anything. The pet must have a large amount of fluid in their lungs to show up. It only takes hours for that to happen. My beloved Zipper could have been that way for only a few hours. There wasn't anything you could have done. I've been told that over and over again. Please read my posting on losing my beloved sheltie, you'll find that you and I share the same experience. Only I had to watch my pet suffer longer than you did. My dog coughed horrible, and it hurt him to cough like that. Take heart that you didn't have to watch that with your little buddy. It hurt, and when I had to give the command to put him down, I could hear him coughing in the back ground non stop. How horrible I feel for prolonging his life trying to save him for myself. You have come to the right place to look for solace. We all understand how you feel here, maybe me more than others since we lost our furbabies to the same sneaky disasterous disease. Please come back and post often. We all find that it makes us feel better to sit here and share our grief. Many a time I have sat here crying as I typed responses to others saddness. Things will get better. But please, don't skip the mourning, and the grieving process. Do little things to memorialize your buddy. I have made key chains, bought concrete stones with sayings on them for the yard. I bought my kids bottle necklaces to put some of our doggies ashes in so they too may have a memory of Zipper. These little things will help with the grieving process. Please, don't feel silly doing them. Everyone I have talked to when purchasing this stuff has all ready been thru this, and say that they wish they'd done this kind of stuff. Please remember this......Give to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies, and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.- Ken D. Conover. It's little sayings like that that helps me to make it thru my day. Keep your head up. Post as often as you need to, we are all here for you.......Zippers momma

I am sooooo sorry to her about little Gizmo. I know how much pain you must be in right now and my heart goes out to you. I just lost my Dusty last Friday and my heart aches every single day. I had also had just taken him in to get his teeth cleaned and then get the news that he has kidney failure! Three weeks later my sweet boy was gone. You are never prepared to hear bad new about your sweet babies. We think the're going to be with us forever... but their little bodies eventualy go out on them and they must leave our side and cross over the rainbow bridge, where they can once again be whole and free of pain.

Gizmo, knows how very much you loved him and thanks you for taking such good care of him for all those years. I know our babies miss us as much as we miss them but "we will" see them again and they will once again be able to lick our tears away and make things all better, just like they always did. The pain will be with you for a long, long time... I don't think we can ever get over the emptyness. So cry and greive for Gizmo, it's okay. My husband and I have cried many tears together, as we try to cope with out our best friend by our side.

May you feel the comfort of Gizmo close by...
DustyLove

It took me awhile to post here but I have been reading old posts and crying with everyone I read. It has helped seeing that I am not the only one who is suffering. I dont mean that in a bad way just that this site has helped me to share my sorrow with others who are feeling the same things as I am. I think all of us here who have lost something so dear should try and reflect on how wonderful we have made the lives our loved ones had and how wonderful it is too have been touched so deeply by them. At times I can think of this and at others it is so painful that I cannot even function let alone reflect on anything positive. I miss my baby so much. I do not think that this hurt in my heart will ever completely go away but sharing it has helpede to lessen it at times.

Dear Giz's Dad:

I am very sorry to hear of your beloved Giz, but, I am happy that you found this site.... (Though, I'm sorry that you had to find it at all in the first place)....

Ten years may sound like a long time, but it really isn't at all!!! When we are talking about sharing our lives, and loving a beautiful fur-baby "family member", ten years is not long.....

It was the evening of 2/7/2004 that I found my way here to Lightning Strikes.... My little girl Ernestine was put to sleep that day at 12PM... I was absolutely lost, I didn't know where to go -- I had lost my best girlfriend....
I bought her for $10.00 at the pet store in town in 1984, and, I fell head over heels in love with her, the moment I held her at 6 weeks old..... She was worth a million dollars.... Our little fur-babies are there for us always... they understand us when "people" don't, they're so loving & non-judgemental.

If it wasn't for this site and for my boyfriend Ben, I'm not sure where I would've gone. I too was extremely lost without my little girl...

I know you said you "were rambling because you were lost"... Please don't worry about that at all. I did that as well, but everyone on this site was (and are) so wonderful; they told me to just say what I needed to say - to pour my heart out - get all my feelings out, and that is exactly what I did.

Please try not to feel guilty..... that's the first thing that most all of us do; is to feel guilty. Someone (again, on this site) told me that if she had a quarter for everytime she said, "I should have", or "Why didn't I", "If only", etc., etc., she would be a millionaire. It's so true.

Your little Gizmo knew how very, very much you loved & treasured him. I've said it many times, but "the one thing that you will always have are memories"...... Memories of Giz & you.... "The one beautiful thing about memories, is that they are ours to keep. NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE THEM AWAY!!!"

It certainly is very hard in the beginning to function at all!!! I felt like I was just walking around in a daze and I didn't know what to do.... That's when I just kept coming here. The silence in this house was deafening. No meows for food.... No little girl jumping up on our bed...

But, Ernie was in so much pain, and her violent retching was so painful to watch. She had lost soooo much weight... I had prayed & prayed that the Dear Lord would take her, but that was not to be.
So, we had to make that decision. And, it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my 43 years. She also had that awful kidney disease, hyperthyroidism & a very fast heart rate because of the first two problems.

The people on this site who have been here awhile, are very wise, and they have very good advice. Again, someone told me something that made all the sense in the world...... " I took on Ernestine's pain so that she could finally be set free and without pain"...

The very first night I typed out my post, I started reading everyone elses posts; I felt like I was "peeking at someone elses private thoughts", but, that's why we all post. So that someone can read our stories and know that they are not alone; not in the least. Reading everyone elses posts, I cried my eyes out.... I still do when I read all the new posts, such as yours - It's tough.... we all understand one another's pain & its horrible....

We are all here because we lost a beloved family member - someone so precious and our hearts have broken. I remember clearly that it felt as if my heart had been ripped & torn into a million pieces. I never, ever thought the pieces would go back together again. I had the worst migraine for a week, (I'm sure because of all the crying), I didn't want to eat - I didn't want to do anything... I remember holding on to Ernie's favorite Beanie Baby which was a Lemur... But, after a couple of weeks, I could finally move....Things in the beginning were "baby steps", for sure!!!!

Please know that your little Giz is over Rainbow's Bridge now, and he is in NO MORE PAIN. One day, I believe that we will all get to see our fur-babies again. They'll be waiting for us over the bridge. But, until we get there, I can picture them all up there, having a great time playing with all of the furbabies who have gone up to the Bridge before them. They can now enjoy their new lives with no pain. It helps me to think of that.

I have since looked up a couple of other pet loss sites, and I will say that truthfully, there is no "pet loss support site" out there as wonderful as this one!!

Peace & Love to you,

Denise