I am going out of my mind here. We put our sweet Maxwell to sleep this past Sunday morning. We had brought her (long story with the boy name!) to the emergency vet on Saturday night because she was throwing up and I found a large lump in her left side. The lump turned out to be her kidney....she had kidney stones and a stone had tried to pass and gotten stuck in the ureter (I think that is what she called it-the tube between the kidney and the bladder). The blockage caused all of her urine and waste to back up into the kidney and it had swollen to three times the normal size. The emergency vet said the right kidney looked fine and they would send us down to the U of M vet hospital and they would remove the entire left kidney. So we get to the U of M and four hours later we're putting her down. There was concern because right kidney was actually enlarged, and the ureter in the x-ray was on the right side of the spinal cord which could have indicated the blocking stone was in the right side and they said the ureter was nearly impossible to operate on. We made our decision based on the prospect of Max having to have multiple surgeries and vet visits for quite possibly the rest of her life. It would have been a nightmare for everyone involved, especially her. I can't help but feel that we should have done more, let them do the surgery, take the risk, because I think that Max would have fought to stay with us. She was my shadow and only wanted to be with me always.

Sorry this is so long, but has anyone had a similar experience with successful results? I called the vet Monday night looking for some reassurance we did the right thing-even knowing that they almost have to say that they think we did the right thing since they don't want to put us in an insane asylum. The only real reassurance I got from that conversation was she said she would have told us if there were other options before we put her down.

The guilt is horrible, my breaking heart is killing me, and I honestly don't feel like I'm going to get through this.

If anyone has some insight on this, please post and let me know.

Thanks for the help.

Unfortunately, I don't have any insight into this particular medical problem. But I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.

I am sorry you were given such an abrupt and terrible decision to make. It sounds to me as though your vet was in a similar positon to you - risk killing or disabling a suffering animal, causing it pain over and over, or put them to sleep peacefully.

Just remember though - your shadow will always be with you. Maxwell will wait - she has all the time in the universe now. So take comfort in the fact that regardless of what "might" have been, you will one day see her again.

HUGS

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot help you with the medical inquiry, but just wanted you to know that I share in your grief.
Pat

Thank you both so much for the kind words. I found this board on Tuesday and have been reading since. I have supportive people around me - my husband especially-but it is so helpful to read other's posts, especially since so many express feelings and emotions that are so similar to mine. It's good to know that I'm not alone in this heart wrenching grief and that all of these new emotions are normal and not just me being hysterical.

I am so sorry Maxwell was put down, but you will see her once again in heaven. She's watching over you from all the time and even if yu can't see her she is by your side at all times.