Hello All,

I first found this wonderful site after my beautiful Winnie girl (calico kitty) passed away five weeks ago. I have received a lot of comfort from you all, and I've done lots of other things (reading books, talking to friends, holding candle lighting ceremonies, putting together a scrapbook, etc.) to try to ease the pain of the loss of my beloved girl.

BUT IT STILL HURTS SO DARN MUCH!!!! I have good moments, and I know I'm making tiny bits of progress, but nearly every day there are times when I feel like it's the first day all over again! I just sob my heart out and beat my fists against a pillow and wonder why, why, WHY did I have to lose my wonderful baby girl?!?!? I miss her soft, cuddly, warm body, her silly facial expressions, her gorgeous green eyes, her sweet voice, and just EVERYTHING about her!!! Nothing about my house or my life is the same anymore! I never feel really comfortable anymore.

I guess I had hoped that I would be feeling a little better than this by now. I know that this can be a long process, and that I never really will feel like I did when she was with me, but that thought just makes me want to give up! I don't want to live without my girl!! She's everything to me!!

I could just use some words of encouragement today.

Thanks and bless you all,
Eliza

SO SORRY that it still hurts so much. Your cyber friends are grieving with you. We all ask the question, "Why?" but I guess there are no easy answers. Just rest assured, as you go through this, that others are thinking of you and offering support. Take care.
Pat

I know how much it hurts...just let it come and grieve but also try and focus on all the happy times you shared. I still miss my Zody who died two years ago, and Spicey who died Aug. 17th and my sweet Nymph who just died two weeks ago. I recently looked through photos and thought how happy things were when I had all three of them in my life. They are all gone now and even though I have a two year old kitty who is so much fun and I love him so much, I still miss my three lost one so much.
I'm glad I have the pictures, there are some funny ones that make me laugh but there is still nothing that fills that big empty hole in my heart.
Every so often when I am missing them I send out little messages of love to them because they are out there some where.

Dear Eliza,

I feel like I have little to offer you in support just because I'm feeling so low myself a lot these days. But I know that in another 5 weeks, you're gonna feel a little better and I trust that as each month goes by, the pain of your loss will feel less desperate and then the memories can start really coming through. This is what people have been telling me anyway. I believe this for myself. I believe that the love I had for Theo will win the day and help ease my pain and enable me to look at photos and remember him when he was healthy and happy. Keep talking it through girl.

Yours in grief,

Luna

Hey Eliza,
Hang in there sweetie. It will be OK. The only way we get past grief is to go through the grief. There are no short cuts. But know that tears are cleansing, and they help us to move on. I know this might sound silly, but I am grateful to have had the love I had for my kitties and the love they had for me. I am grateful that I am heartbroken because at least I know I really loved and was loved back. We are loving feeling human beings. And although are hearts are broken now, they will mend. In time. In God's time not our time. But it will happen. So hang on to the good memories and please know that you are loved and thought of every day by all of us who are here for you.
Lots of love,
Deb

Thank you all so very much for your kind thoughts and encouragement. My heart goes out to you all, as well, because I know that you're in the same boat. It really helps to be able to talk about this with people who understand, because I'm getting the definite feeling now that my friends don't really want to keep talking about it with me.

It's funny how I can get a lot of comfort from the thought of Winnie and her sister and brother (Tigger and Tommy) together in Heaven, happy and healthy and waiting for me, but then still feel so wretched at having to be here on Earth alone without them. I do believe that they're near me in spirit, but I'm still feeling very selfish and wanting them to be here with me physically, too!

I think part of what is making this extra hard is the fact that Winnie was the last of my three furbabies to pass. I started putting together a scrapbook this weekend of my life with the three of them over the past 13 years, and it was so nice to be reminded of all of the wonderful times we shared, even though the activity brought tears as well. My life has changed so much now that all of them have moved on. I feel like I'm losing all three of them all over again, along with the life I loved, my youth, my direction in life... Maybe I'm being overly dramatic, but that's how it feels.

I am very grateful that I have my 2 1/2 year old kitties, Charlie and Sophie, with me. But their personalities are so different from the ones I've been used to, that I struggle sometimes to be able to really enjoy them for who they are. I believe this will get easier with time, but I have guilt layered on top of everything else that I'm not being a very good Mom to them right now.

Anyway, thanks again for your comforting thoughts. I will remember to be grateful to have been able to love so completely, even though it means this much heartbreak now. And I will try to be patient until the time comes that my memories give me more enjoyment than pain. And I will send out little messages of love to my beloved furbabies whenever I'm thinking about them.

Wishing you all strength and peace at this very difficult time.
Eliza