Hello all!! Today is day 5, and things are looking a little less blurry. I still miss my little Zip, but doggie daddy and I have resorted to talking about the good times, and the fun times Zip brought us. My question now is, for those of you who have surviving dogs (or cats?) how can you really help the survivors not to be so lonely? My survivor Toto is quite lonely, and doesn't want me to leave him at home. He is doing a little better about things today. But if he hears my Zips tags (which I have attached to my purse with a personalized key chain) he comes running and looking, as if to say "Hey, Zip! You're back!!" And Totos actions are saddening me further. What do you do? Toto is prone to whine in the evening, as if to ask where is Zip. When I leave the house, Toto tries to get out, as if he thinks he is going to see Zip. I have a very hard time leaving with him acting this way, but to be here at home, is too much for me right now. What to do, what to do? I am not, nor will I ever be as close with Toto as I was with Zip, as Zip was my first ever pet, and I had Zip before I had kids. Not to say that I don't love Toto, because I do love him. I do spend time with him, give him treats, pet him, sit with him...etc. But we got Toto from a shelter for abused dogs, so Toto is not the lovey, huggey, kissey, snuggly dog that Zip was. I can't act like that with Toto, as he doesn't care for that stuff. It's as if Toto is happy as long as someone is home, his bowls are full, and he can come and go outside as he pleases. Thanks for letting me vent. I already read the forum page on the grieveing of animals, but gave me no ideas, or tips that have been tried. Any ideas, let me know!! Thanks again for being here!! Zippers Mom

We have a suriving dog as well, and I'm not sure who the loss of Megan has been harder on, me or Molly. Molly has acted out a few times and destroyed a few things in the house. She has also been very clingy. Her personality was very different from Meg's and although I love her, she just does not bring into my life what Megan did. I feel horrible for feeling this way, I know you should not have favorites but I do (did). There I've said it. Molly is just too laid back and sweet natured...does that make sense? Megan was such an in your face dog. When she was still alive it drove me nuts but now I'd do anything to have her "wooing" when I got home.

So now Molly has become the center of attention and we take her to the dog park so she can see other dogs. Although she is very lonely, we have not got another dog yet. This has become somewhat of an issue between my husband and I. We got Megan BECAUSE Molly did not tolerate being alone. But he does not want another dog, he's tired of the hassle and hair in the house. I'm slowly working on him and secretly hope that Molly wrecks a few other things

It sounds like you're doing all the same stuff with Toto as I'm doing with Molly..it will get better. Please keep posting, I'd like to hear how Toto (and you) are doing.

Tracey

I believe it is ok to have favorites. Saki was my favorite. Tim gave me all sorts of grief about that, at the time. But I couldn't help it. I just had an extremely extraordinary special bond with her. ...

But with Saki and Electra and Freyja, Tim loved them all equally. Very differently, but I guess equally. And he would say awful things about me being so in love with Saki...

Now, we have Hathor and he is madly in love with Hathor. In ways that he was never in love with those who passed last year. And he feels guilty. And he feels guilty bc he loves Hathor more than the kitties. And yesterday, we got Chata, and last night he said to me "I like Chata, but I love Hathor... and that makes me feel bad..." He can't help it, though. He just can't...

But I think instead of worrying about who we love more, we should just be grateful when we get one of those extra special bonds. We should relish the sweetness and uniqueness of it...

As for pet grief... I dunno. Freyja passed in May, then Saki in June and poor Lec, even though she didn't even seem to like Frey and had a love-hate going with Saki-- after they left, she would run through the house searching for them and howl a sad ghostly wail... And Tim and I were grieving so much, and to watch her do that, it was just so traumatic and heart breaking... She stopped doing that once we got Hathor, but I don't think getting another animal should be the solution.

I do worry about it a lot with the animals we have now. Daphne and Velma are sisters and have NEVER been apart. They are just kitties, and hopefully that is a long long long way off, but.... I worry a lot... And the same with Hathor and Chada. THey are NOT sisters. But have been best friends since they were young puppies (Chata is about a year now, Ithink, Hathor is 9 months...)

I wish I had advice. But I don't...

Dear Shadded Dreams.

I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time with your surviving pet.

My husband had gotten Mittens and Spunky at the same time, they were sisters and just 8 weeks old. They were born September 1, 1990 and we just moved into our very first home on November 8, 1990. So they have been together always. After we had put my beautiful best friend Mittens down in November, her sister Spunky kind of walked around the house lost for a while after. She would go around as if she was looking for her sister, but didn't know why she couldn't find her. It was very upsetting. But, now she loves being the center of attention, she is extremely vocal now, way more than she ever was. She comes into the room and meows really loud, as if to say, "here I am, pet me, love me, pay some attention to me already." It's almost funny, but I kind of want to cry because I see her and realize how much I miss her sister. Sorry, I am rambling...and crying, again.
I loved having two cats in the house, it doesn't feel right having just one. I mentioned to my husband about getting another kitten, but he is not in favor of it. I don't know.

Janice

My surviving dog, Falkor, went into quite a funk initially after Luba died. It didn't help that everytime he saw me he saw that I was crying. Luba used to come to work with me, so everytime I came home the first two weeks after she passed, he would run to the door and see if she is there.

Falkor was the second dog. Luba was "my girl" in all ways, she was my best friend. I'll never have another like her. However, Falkor is moving into that hole in my heart, and being a really good buddy too.

Now, 7 weeks later his personality is changing. He is much more alert, and has strarted doing things now (like swimming and barking when the mail comes) that he never used to do.

I think the best that can be done for a surviving pet is to keep them as much in their routine as they are used to. I personally try not to grieve intensly when Falkor is around. I try to pick up on his positive feelings and promote them. Often this ends up making me feel better.

Hope this helps!