Wednesday, I had to put my beloved cat Ozzy to sleep. He was my best friend & was always there for me for 18 years. I got him when he was only 5 weeks old & had to give him cat formula in a bottle for about 3 weeks. I remember holding him back then when he was so tiny & it was like he was my child. He grew up to be a very healthy 17 pound boy & was always so loving & funny. He came when I called his name & always had something to say. I never ate dinner without sharing with him & he loved to sleep in my bed all snuggled up under the covers. About a year ago, the vet said he had serious kidney disease & wouldn't have much longer. But a year ago, he was 12 pounds, so even though he had lost weight, I refused to think about it. Over the past few months, I noticed a serious change. He was getting very thin & couldn't walk upstairs anymore. I carried him around & tried to make it better for him. But then he started to prefer staying by himself in the kitchen & just slept there instead of on my bed or the couch. And then he couldn't keep any food down & didn't even want people food anymore. He never went outside, so when we went to the vet Wednesday, he was a bit frightened as usual. I had always told him not to be afraid, that we'll be going right home after his vaccines, but this time I couldn't say that to him. I held his paw & told him I loved him while the vet gave him the shot to put him to sleep. My poor baby was so ill & only 7 and a half pounds. So, even though I know I did the right thing, I feel so guilty. In my emotional panic before leaving to go to the vet, I forgot to give him some Bumble Bee tuna. He loved that & maybe would have eaten some. I feel like I'm going to die of a broken heart. I'm hoping that when I pick up his ashes that will help a little..that it will be like he's back here with me. Diane

Diane,

I am so sorry for you loss. My family and I just went through a very similar situation. Our cat Molly was 11 years old and suffered from CRF. She went through the wasting and lethargy like Ozzy. It is tough to watch the ones you love fade, but please know that you gave Ozzy a gift by sparing a lot of pain and suffering. We wished so hard for Molly to get better, but it never happened and as hard as it was watching her waste away, petting her as she went to sleep completely knocked the wind out of us. It has been a little over a week now and I can tell you that the first week is the hardest, so hang in there. Others in the forum have said that by ending their lives humanely, we take on their pain for them.

I am so sorry about your Ozzy. Take care of yourself and check back to let us know how you are doing.

Dave

I am so sorry for your loss. Please know your Ozzy knows you were there, and im sure he is greatful for that, and for a peaceful death. You did the right thing. My dog picasso had a horrible death, my biggest regret is that he didnt get put to sleep peacefully ( he was hit by a car, there was no vet, so he bled to death, its a long story) , you gave him dignity in the end, and thats the most important thing.

As for the tuna, it would have been a great last gesture, but if he was that sick i doubt he would have ate it . so dont feel guilty


:X amber

Amber, My heart goes out to you for such a tragic loss of your Picasso. You made me realise that Ozzy was one of the lucky ones to have been able to go in peace. I know the tuna was a silly thing to focus on, but I just didn't expect to be in such an emotional panic.

Dave, I am so sorry for the loss of your Molly. It is so difficult to see them being so ill & I also thought I was mentally prepared for the final step.

Thank you both so much for your kind words of encouragement. You have both helped me so much since in real life only 1 friend seemed to understand what I was going through. Oddly enough, she's the only friend who has never had an animal companion. Thank you, Diane

Oh honey, the guilt of having to make the decision to put our furbabies to sleep is so difficult. This was my first experience with it (a few weeks ago) and for days and days I just made myself sick thinking I'd done the wrong thing. I had promised him I'd come back for him just the week before and when I went back to get him, he was sedated. It's just so hard. There are no words that I can say that will magically make your pain disappear. They say time is what it takes but even time is hard.

Try to be kind to yourself. You did the right thing and he knows you did. He knows you loved him and cared for him and were only doing what was best. I truly believe they know.

(((HUGS))))

Julie


Frankie 2/14/02-9/7/05