Hi everyone

Yesterday my Dearest friend Simmi passed away . She was a beautiful Samoyed and was 11 years old . I knew the night prior when I pulled in the driveway and she did not come to greet me something was terribly wrong . I walked over to see her and she only looked up at me was would not follow me to get her treat , shre just laid there . My husband and I finally got her in the garage and I gave her a bowl of ice water and a few treats , she only ate 1 treat and no water .
When I was driving home from work yesterday I cried all the way , I knew she was gone before I even got home ( . I sat in the driveway and cried with my twin 3 year old daughters in the car , when I opened the garage she didn't appear , she was laying there and was gone .
I think the guilt I feel is going to haunt me for the rest of my life !!!
About 3 years ago she started leaking uncontrollablly and we had 2 new babies in the house . We had to have her stay in the garage which is very very clean and during the day outside , my heart broke just about everyday since before then she was my one and only beautiful whiute princess I just feel now that she was alone and sad for the last 3 years of her life and that the time I spent with her so too little and I miss her so so so much right now . I want to take back all the days that she was not at my bedside or sitting next to me on the couch . I am dying inside and my heart feels shattered in a million pieces . I have been crying for a day and a half now , will I ever stop ?

I am so sorry for your loss, and I know the guilt that can accompany the sadness. I know it is hard to believe right now, but it will get easier. I lost My Cosmo just over 4 months ago, and the tears are less intense than they once were, but I still mourn for him and miss him so. For me, the guilt of euthanasia, passed after the second month. I want to be truthful, expect these feelings for some time to come, but know that they are normal feelings for grieving. As long as you allow yourself to feel them, and don't hold back your pain and sadness, you will be grieving healthy. That is the only way to feel better over time, go through it.
I understand why you feel guilty right now, but try not to. You did what you had to do for your human babies.
Simmi is now in a place free from pain and sadness, and feeling like a young pup again. Try to picture her running around, happy and free, with all of the other beautiful souls who have passed on and wait for us to join them.
I wish I could say the magic words to help ease your suffering, because I would spare anyone the pain I had to go through
( and still go through) when I lost Cosmo, but there is no quick fix when you lose someone you love so much. Take some comfort in that, you would not feel such heartbreak if you did not love her the way you do/did.
Lean on me or the other beautiful souls here at LS for support as you try to live life without her. Know that we all care and understand what you are going through.
Peace, Love, and Prayers,
Michelle

Dear((((((((((((((( Simmi'smommy,)))))))))))
Just a great big hug for your loss. I too had a northern dog and had to have him put to sleep 10 days ago..a husky named Tico.
He ate less and less and finally stopped eating. It was like he was telling us it was his time and to let him go.
I have sobbed so hard every day since then- even on the freeway where it isn't exactly safe to do this! I too had some guilt that I didn't spend enough time with him. As his arthritis got worse, we would go for fewer and shorter walks.

I want to tell you that the guilt really stayed with me for about a week. It is still there for the most part but Somehow after that, some good memories started coming back and now sometimes I imagine that he is walking by my side. We loved to walk.

I believe that animals have souls and really want to believe that we will see them again and be able to make up for anything we didn't do.

Please let yourself cry as much as you need to. This is part of the healing process and you will feel better someday even tho now you have a broken heart and it doesn't seem like it will ever stop hurting so much.

I have taken care of samoyeds and they are absolutely gorgeous as I'm sure your princess was. Be very kind to yourself - this is one of the hardest times of your life.

Blessings
CAthi

((((((HUGS)))))) Please don't beat yourself up over this. You did the best you could hon.

Take care of yourself and those twin babies!!!

Julie


Frankie 2/14/02-9/7/05