How does one move through the heartache, pain, loneliness and sorrow of losing a beloved friend and loyal companion of almost 10 years?? We had to put our four legged baby to sleep 3 days ago. Bogie was the joy of our lives and focus of our attention for the last 10 years. Since we don’t have any 2 legged children we centered our love and affection on Bogie. Our friends say they KNOW there was no other dog that lived a better life than ours. He was spoiled with all the love we gave him, and in return he gave us his loyalty and unconditional love. Bogie was such a wonderful friend and companion. He was such a loving, affectionate, smart, proud, playful, faithful, happy dog, but most of all, our best friend. He traveled everywhere with us. His last hurray was our vacation to Maine last month, where he barked his silly head off at the lobster boats. We had returned from our vacation and started to get back to normal work routines, when Tuesday night he woke me up cause he was sick. He had vomited a few times, and was so restless. Tuesday morning I took him in to the vet, never to return home. He was there 2 nights. The vet repeated the blood work Thursday morning and found his liver enzymes higher than they had been 36 hrs before. So, he felt it necessary to do exploratory surgery to find out what was going on. I raced down to the vet and waited for word on how things were going. Finally, I got called in to the surgery room (being a nurse, the vet knew I’d want more particulars than most people might), and he showed me Bogie was full of cancer. Liver, pancreas, spleen, non-operable. We had 2 choices, 1) allow Bogie to wake up, let him go home on pain meds, and probably die within a week, or 2), let him stay sleeping forever right now. OH MY GOSH!!!!!! What a shock!!! Bogie’s dad was able to get away from work and be there as well, and together we chose #2, knowing it was the right one for Bogie. We stayed with Bogie until he took his last breath and left the vet sobbing. We haven't stopped sobbing.
That was 3 days ago, and yes, life does go on, but it’s SO incredibly painful. I have NO interest in day to day things right now, I have no appetite, I have cried myself to sleep and awakened with tears. The void in our house is unbearable, the emptiness more profound than I ever knew was possible. We are reminiscing about the all happiness he gave us, the silly things he’d do, looking at pictures, crying as we walk by his empty dishes and see his toys and miss him SO very much. There is such a huge void in our hearts and lives, an empty feeling in our hearts. There is part of us, that wants to go right out and get another pet, in an attempt to fill the void. But, we know we should probably wait and allow ourselves to heal somewhat before plunging into getting another pet. We also know that no pet will replace Bogie.
I found this site yesterday and it does help a little reading other's stories and knowing we are not alone in our pain and sorrow. I don’t have much to give others right now but please know that our thoughts and prayers go out to each and every one of you out there suffering this great loss of a loved one. Fortunately, we have many friends who are pet lovers and they all understand what Bogie meant to us, so there has been an overwhelming support from them. 3 sympathy cards so far. To all of you out there in this sorrowful time, thanks for sharing your stories and opening your hearts to others at such a vulnerable time. It’s a comfort to know there is such compassion in the world. Also, let us take a moment to remember what today is. 4 years ago today, our country (US) suffered one of the biggest losses in it's history, let us not forget. Bogie’s Mom

Bogie's Mom,

I am so sorry for your loss. We too had to put our Molly-cat of almost 12 years to sleep on the same day. Until very recently we had no children for the first 11 years we had Molly and her brother Ted, so I totally understand how your love for Bogie is the same as the love for a child. And while we did have a child recently, we still refer to Molly and Ted as our first born. Even though we both experienced our losses at roughly the same time, I can tell you that this site has been very helpful for us in going through out loss. The support we have received has been great. While we are still in pain, cry frequently, and always have Molly on our mind, I feel that the support from this site will help us get to a point where we can remember our Molly and think about the happy times we spent together instead of the upleasant end.

I have to believe all of the people who have been where we are today when they say "it will get better". Again, I am so sorry for you loss and please check back in with us and let us know how you are doing.

Dave

Hi Dave,
Bless you for your kindness and empathy for our loss. Thank you for taking the time, in spite of your own grieving, to aknowledge ours. I am deeply sorry for the loss of your Molly. It sounds like you are in much the same shape as we are. Embrace Ted and support him too. This site has been valuable thus far and I think that expressing our feelings in writing is therapeutic, so I am thankful for this forum. I was thinking, as I read Lan's comments about being angry and not getting much or any support from friends, that it might be real easy for friends to tire of our mourning process and back away if we take "too much time" for our grieving. So, in that regard, this IS the place to be, I believe. I can't say today has been any easier than the first two but I sure am counting on all that's been said about "it WILL get better"!! One thing that I have read in the last few days that really hit me was, "what would your pet do if she/he found you sad and in pain?" Give you love, comfort and stay with you as long as it took, is the answer. I do know that Bogie certainly wouldn't like to see us in this kind of pain and I am sure that would be true of Molly. I look to the day when we are all a little less fragile and our pain is less. Thank you once again for taking the time, and your heartfelt words. Take good care, be patient...and keep posting to let us know how you are coping.

Bogie's Mom

Dear BogiesMom,
Thank you so much for thinking of us in your profound sorrow.
Love,
Jim & Terri

Bogie's mom,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my sweet little dachshund Wed. (7th) and it was extremely unexpected. I had to make the choice to let him live knowing he'd surely die very soon or to let him go quietly. It was the hardest decision I've ever personally had to make and no one could take off work and go the 100 mile journey with me to the vet school. The people at the clinic were so nice and did make it a little easier but my life just isn't the same. People who don't have pets don't "get it" and those that do but don't treat them as I did don't get it either.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Julie

Dear Bogie's Mom,

Bogie was such a cutie! I'm so very sorry for your loss.

I joined this website a little less than a year ago when I lost my best friend and companion, Shiloh. The pain I felt over her passing was so immense...I thought I'd never get over it.

I was touched by this statement because I think that void is something we all experience when we lose one of our furkids.

It's been almost a year since Shiloh left me and I can tell you that although I still miss her very much, the deep searing pain I felt when she first died has passed. Healing does come with time, I promise you that. You will probably always miss Bogie, just as I will always miss Shiloh, but in time your memories of Bogie will bring you great comfort and joy. The best advice I can give you right now is to allow yourself the time and space you need to heal. Surround yourself with people who are supportive and understanding with what you're going through. This is a wonderful website, with very caring people. When it seems like no one else understands how you're feeling, you can come here and find many shoulders to lean on.

You're in my thoughts.
Hugs,
Kathleen

Bogie's Mom,

I am so sorry for your loss and pain. Please know that my thoughts are with you, and yes, it will get better.

Tammy

Bogie's Mom,

I am so sorry for your loss. I put my sweet Maggie, mini schnauzer to rest Sept 4, 2005. My husband and I joked that for 9 1/2 years old she was like a puppy. Then one day 6 weeks ago that all changed, she had never been sick and she got very sick. After 4 weeks of antiobiotics and tests, we found out she had a rare and deadly cancer. During the exploritory surgery my husband made the decision to bring her back to us to say good-bye. He felt it important for our family to say good-bye. She became so sick and suffered. I finally talked my husband into ending her suffering when she took another turn for the worse. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I don't know that I will ever get over it except that she is no longer hurting. But we sure are as I can tell you are.

Hang in there my friend. This site is so essential to healing. You can cry, remember your wonderful times with Bogie and know that you have support and friendship.

I will be thinking about you and praying for your healing.

Please take care and keep us posted on this site to how your doing.

Maggie's Mom, Angie

Bogie's Mom,
This must have been such a shock, not knowing you were going to lose him. We had to have Tico put to sleep 6 days ago, and the pain is still like a knife.

We have had several sympathy cards too. What hurts is when "friends" don't even acknowlege that he is gone. Several now have simply ignored it and said nothing. Most have been wonderful and kind.

Thank God for this site of compassionate and understanding people. I have to believe that it will get easier as others here have said.

I seem to function and cope much better when I'm not home and can't feel that terrible VOID that you talked about --it is so LOUD. We are going camping and canoeing for part of the weekend. I hope to just feel the breeze and listen to the slice of the paddles.

Our kids are grown so Tico became like our child too. It was wonderful to have him to love.

One good thing happened today--All this week I have only been able to think of Tico in his sickness the last week or so. But today, I had a happy memory of the way he used to run around the track with the runners. He stayed right in his lane. I always thought--he should have a little shirt with a number so he could be a part of the team, because he *thought* he was. Of course, right after that memory, I fell apart again. It's a roller coaster ride and I don't like it at all..

My heart goes out to you in your terrible loss.

hugs
Cathi

Cathi, Tammy, Kathleen, and Angie, and just everyone who is hurting and coming here to read, trying to find some comfort and empathty.....THANK YOU so much for your support and kindness. Today marks one week for us after losing Bogie. The week has been a blur, only having gone thru the motions of life and feeling numb. This morning, I awoke thinking I heard Bogie by my bed, but once I was fully awake, knew that wasn't possible. I never realized we'd miss him this much. His daddy and I have spent each evening talking about our wonderful times with him, looking at pictures, even laughing once in awhile about some silly thing he'd do. We are trying to move forward and have found comfort in talking so much about him. And of course, we come here and read and reflect and empathize with all of you as well. It's such a difficult time, yet we know that the folks in here know all too well what this feels like, while our families and friends go about their lives and forget we are still hurting so. As I have said.....I think this is the place to hang out for the long haul and I am so thankful it's here!!! To all of you.....peace and better days, our thoughts are with you as you struggle through each day.
Hang in there.....and hope that time thing starts making a difference soon.
Hugssssss to you and a big thanks for taking the time to extend your sympathy. I am so sorry for your losses as well.
Together, we WILL get through this.
Sincerely,
Bogie's Mom, Beth

Hi Beth
Just to say ,hang in there - sp g;ad yu have found this forum. It has helped me immensely in the last 2 months since I lost my furry pal to a speeding car. the pain is stillthere but not so raw now - I still have a little weep every day for my pudding Sgith, but I am beginning to thinkof him with a half smile too. I miss him terribly and always will but being here realy does help, the pauin and weight which seems so overwhelming, does seem a little lighter when you know people really do understand.
Thinking of you all who are grieiving so hard.
Fiona

This is my first time on here. I lost my baby Parker 4 days ago and I am miserable. Cry all the time, I really relate to Bogie's Mom. I wanted to tell you all that there is this wonderful place where I am from and it commemorates your baby so well! I have no vested interest I promise, it just has made a small dent in my grief and a way to remember my boy. The place is called Pet Angel Memorial Center, I don't know what the website is but I know it has one. It is located in Carmel, Indiana. We just ordered a small necklace which acts like an urn and I can hold some of my babies ashes next to my heart always. They have so many great things to remember. Also, they cremated my baby and had him back to me in 2 days, with a paw print of his and fur clippings. It meant so much. They even hold memorial services and everything. Worth looking into and it really helped knowing he was in good hands.

Parker "Lou Lou" mommy.

Dear Beth,

I just wanted to let you know that you and Bogie are in my thoughts on his 1 week anniversary. These first few weeks really are the most difficult.

You hang in there, too.
Hugs,
Kathleen