Please help!
My sweet Maggie, a min schnauzer whom I had for 9 1/2 years was very sick with a very rare and deadly cancer of the bladder. Sunday I had to take her to the vet because she took a turn for the worse. She was put to sleep, I stayed with my sweet baby till the end. I am so upset and don't even want to get up! She was everything to me and I feel so upset and even guilty. Her sweet little eyes looked at me to the very end and I just can't get the process of putting her to sleep out of my mind. She became sick 6 weeks ago and went from active and playful to in pain and not doing the things she loved. She was my friend and I see her everywhere. I need someone's advice because I can't shake her looking at me so sad at the end. Will this pain ever go away?

Lost without Maggie
Angie

Dear Angie,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Maggie.

When I first joined this website and I was speaking of my concerns over having put my dog Shiloh to sleep, someone said to me, "You gave Shiloh a great gift, you took on her pain so she could be pain free." Sometimes after making the decision to have a beloved pet put to sleep, we have guilt, but in a case like Shiloh, and like Maggie, we really did give them a gift. Maggie is no longer suffering...she's running and playing and doing all the things she used to love to do.

As far as the memory of her euthanasia, the trauma of that will fade with time. I can tell you that in time you'll find comfort and happiness in all the memories you have of Maggie. For right now, feel whatever you need to feel. Allow yourself to cry, get angry, scream, sob, do whatever you need to do to help you heal.

You're in my thoughts.
Hugs,
Kathleen

I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Two years ago my beloved black 16 1/2 year old Persian Zody who had an inoperable tumour in his abdomen started to deteriorate, he stopped eating and kept throwing up and I knew I had to do something. The vet came to my house and after checking him over and telling me the tumour had grown, put him to sleep. He fought the vet and that final needle and my last memory is of him looking so angry. I still feel horribly guilty about it. But I know I likely spared him from a very painful period. In reality the act of putting him to sleep took only a few moments compared to the long agony he would have otherwise suffered. No matter how he looked at the end I know he loved me and I know he wanted to stay with me as much as I wanted him to stay with me. BUt fate obviously had something else in store.
Even though it's been two years the love doesn't die. It's as strong as it ever was. I know it's awfully hard to get past the trauma of putting our loved pets to sleep, in fact I think it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but it does get better, you need to focus on the happy times and the wonderful memories. Put a tribute to Maggie on the tribute/memorial section here, and list all the things that made her so special. I lost one of my other kitties 3 weeks ago and it really helped to do the tribute, I also put one up for Zody.
Know that many people on this message board have gone or are going through the same agony. You are not alone, we all know how much it hurts.
When I was kid I watched an episode of little house on the prairie and it stuck in my memory, it was of a mother dying and at her funeral her final message was read. "remember me with smiles and laughter, for thats the way I remember you, if you can only remember me with tear, don't remember me at all." I'm sure all our lost pets would wish for us to focus on all the love and wonderful memories of their lives opposed the those few short moments as their lives ended.

Hi Angie,

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. It is a very hard choice that we, parents of fur children, have to make and it is never an easy choice. I have lost 2 of my fur children and both of them I had to make the call to not allow them to continue in the pain they were in and both times it was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. Time does heal all wounds, but you never totally get over them being gone. My Jacob, whom I lost back in May of 1999 and Smokey I lost just this last September and I still miss both of them, very badly, and I believe I always will. But I do take comfort that they are waiting for me at the rainbow bridge and when my time comes we will be reunited. I also know that when my times comes, I will have alot of fur children waiting for me, as I can't imagine my live without my fur children and so I thank the Lord for every day that he gives me with my fur babies and that he will give me the strength to do what is right for them when their time comes.

Give yourself time and the space you need to grieve for your baby and you will find that even though you still miss them and would move heaven and earth to have them back with you, they have never really left and will be with you in spirit until you meet again.

Thinking & sending prayers to you,
LouAnn
Mother to: Jacob (doggie angel), Smokey (kitty angel), Ziggy, Quinton, Tyler, BobCat & Phoenix

I want to say a thank you to all of you for writing to me. It comforts me and does help. Today is a little better but I am still looking for Maggie. I think I am doing better and then I just lose it. I tell you that I never understood what it meant when people would tell me there pets were there children until I had Maggie. We got her for my daughter many years ago and she adopted me.

From the bottom of my heart I appreciate your comments. I look forward to hearing more about your situations with your pets. God bless you all.

Angie

I'm so sad to read about your loss. You've come to the right place. When I put Ginger down on Aug 10th, I thought I would go mad with the pain in my heart. I vented a lot of it right here. Especially when people around me began to think I was losing my head over my dog. Co-workers, etc. I still cry at the thought of her name, but God helps us cope for the long run and in time, I promise you will heal too. It's a slow process and is different for each individual but the grief is very real and should be embraced, just as you embraced your sweet Maggie.

You gave your dog a life of joy and she left this world knowing you love her and she'll see you again in heaven. She's healthy now in God's arms, no cancer, just play, happiness and love. You may still feel her in her favorite spots and see her in your dreams. I think God allows them to stick around for awhile until you get past the worst. Ginger seemed to really stay with me for about 10 days, then slowly the ache begins to fade and turn to happy memories.

I got a new puppy now. Today I took her to the vet for shots and while waiting, found myself standing in the same room where I put down Ginger just a few weeks ago. I started crying big tears. Roxy laid down on the floor in Gingers death spot and licked my leg obsessively. I think Ginger came back today, just to help my pain, once again. Bless you, be strong.

I am so sorry about your loss.

I was so overwhelmed with grief for the first week I felt like I fell into some deep dark black whole with no one else in it. Thankfully I found this sight the next day and realized there were others in the black hole with me, and others who have started to get out of it. Knowing others had felt the same way helped a little.
The second week I started to feel better and could at least function for most of the day.
I just finished my 3rd week and I have been miserable again. Not as bad as the 1st week, but MUCH worse than the second.
But thanks to the others here, I realize it is totally normal and I will get back to how I felt the second week, and then get better from there.

ALthough my heart doesn't feel like the pain will ease, my brain knows that it will.

Take care
-Tammy