I know I have luna now but I can't get crystal out of my head. Last night I called luna Crystal and I felt so bad that I cried until I fell asleep. I know luna's tring her best to be my special friend but I will always love crystal and I can't bring myself to love luna that much and I just feel horrible.

Hi Jaymie,

It's just been a few weeks since you lost Crystal, you're thinking about her constantly. It's not surprising that you might mean to call Luna and say Crystal.

When I first got Kali, I told myself that I wouldn't compare her to Qorqui, or expect her to be "like" Qorqui. But I found that wasn't so easy since my loss was still pretty new at the time. So when Kali would do something I couldn't help thinking "that's not how Qorqui would have done that", and it kinda got in the way of my ability to appreciate Kali as her own individual.

I've since gotten past my problem of comparing Kali to Qorqui and now appreciate Kali as Kali. When I changed my attitude, she came around too and (like Qorqui) is one of the most attentive and affectionate little critters I've ever met. (She's still won't eat dry food without fresh pressed apple juice or a little Prego soup mixed in though. )

Don't try to get Crystal out of your head. You need to go through the grieving process. If you supress it, you're just asking for other problems later. Just try to remember that Luna is not Crystal, but she is also special very in her own way. She WILL to things differeently than Crystal did, but that's okay. She's Luna, she's a different kitty. Give it time and the bond will form. But don't try to rush yourself in getting over the loss of Crystal. Let that happen in its own time. I think then you will find that it's easier to accept Luna as your new special friend while still keeping Crystal in her special place in your heart.

Tim

Jaymie,

You shouldn't feel bad about Crystal. I know I still catch myself with Odin. Occasionally I'll Loki "Odin" by mistake. I know there were certain things that I did with Odin, like cuddle, that I can't do with Loki. Sometimes I wish he were more like his brother but then he wouldn't be Loki. Like Tim said, her death is still so recent and you're still thinking of her. Luna will develop her own personality in time. Crystal will always have a special place in your heart that can never be replaced. Just give yourself some more time to get over your pain. Dont rush it.

Take Care,
Cynthia

I called Miss Kitty 'Diapey' (the cat I lost recently) the other day and then just cried for what seems like hours. I have 2 other cats and sometimes I feel bad that I don't have the same bond with them as I did with Diapey. But I know I am giving them all the love I can and they accept that.

Your love for Luna will grow because she is the cat that is helping you through your pain. The good think about pets, including Luna, is that they love you no matter what and they instantly forgive you. So don't feel bad about not being close to Luna right now. She is okay with that, she still loves you - you even said that she is trying her best. She is patiently helping you and I think she knows that when you start to feel better, your bond will grow.

-Tammy

Jaymie,

I got a new kitten this weekend and I remember your posting because I feel the same way. And I'm trying to tell myself what I told you!
I hope you are feeling better and are bonding with Crystal.

-Tammy