I need your help.
I am writing this because we need help. My husband more so than I.
let me explain.
We had a black lab named Sissi Bell. She was 12 years old. she died last friday. my husband had to take her to the vet to have her put down. it all started with a slow growing tumor on her gum.
She had several surgeries, lost some of her teeth , but never complained about anything. She was such a
good girl. I had made plans to go to germany to visit my family that I have not seen in 3 years.
Sissi was doing pretty good about that time. She just had surgery again, but we did not know it would be her last.
the tumor has spread thru her body and I was not here to help my husband to take care of her in her final days.
I could just scream. we just lost her sister last year and now her.
I was on the plane on my way back when my husband took her. He is so broke down right now and I think he needs to hear from other people that he did the right thing. I never got to say good bye to her, but he tpld me that he did say it to her for me.
We miss her so much. her bowl is still here and i cant throw it away. I hate knowing that she is laying in a grave next to her sister in the yard. I waant them back. Pics dont help. losing Murphy Brown (hr sister)was very hard, and now her, it is killing us. they both were 12 years old.
We still have one more dog. Soju is his name. he is almost 16 years old, but still getting around pretty good. what if something happens to him? how do we survive? I dont thing we can take much more.
I know that our beloved animals are in a better place now, and I know that they had a wonderful life with us. It is the joy that they gave us everyday that is gone now.
What can I do to made things better for my husband? maybe he can get some support from you. when Murphy died I wrote a supportgroup and I got many E-mails back that helped me. maybe this will help him.

I want to thank you all for your kindness
Judith S.

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
I lost my cat just over 2 weeks ago. Although I didn't have to make any choices, it was sudden and still very painful.

For me, the the 1st week was almost unbearable. Thank goodness I found this board and the people on it. Reading other postings and knowing there are people who know exactly how I felt/feel helped me tremendously.
I'm doing a little better now, not hysterically crying every waking minute, but only some tears here and there each day.
But I still feel pretty empty.

Have your husband read through these messages and have him write on here; it really is helpful just to get your thoughts out.

I am trying to focus on my other 2 cats now and make sure they are ok. One of them is pretty lonely. Take care of Soju as best you can.

I'm sure some other people will post to this message and offer supporting words who went through the same thing your husband and you did.

Take care
Tammy

I don't know what to tell you to make it feel better, other than time will help.
My 16 year old kitty just died on August 17th and my 18 year old one isn't doing very well and I fear she may go much sooner than I had hoped. I wish our furry loved ones could outlive us because it is one of the hardest things to have to say bye to them.

I don't know if this helps in any way but two years ago when my 16 year old persian died, my mother gave me this dreamcatcher windchime, it is dedicated to animal friends who have passed before us. I took a lock of Zody's hair and glued it on and then just two weeks ago I took a lock of Spicey's hari and added it. Somehow it brings me peace, like a little tribute to them to let them know how much I miss them. I don't know if you can find any of fur from your lab but if you do any dreamcatcher would work.
Another thing I found bringing me some solace was the tribute page in this forum. Downloading a picture of your lost fur baby and sharing memories of them. Writing about all the wonderful things you shared makes you focus on the good memories and that is what's important. I have to do that every so often again as I too had to put Zody to sleep and it was to be honest the hardest thing I have ever had to do. He too had a tumour that had spread and he was suffering but he fought the vet and that final needle and for me it was so heartwrenching that I think it left me traumatized for a long time. It was a horrible last memory. But focusing on the wonderful times we shared and all the things that made him so special to me, keeps him close because the love never dies.

I'm so sorry you are both going through this. All I can think to say is if the situation were reversed, would you want those you left behind to be so sad and focus on the end or would you want them to think of all the happy times? I know it's easier said than done. I remember when I was growing up watching an episode of Little House on the Prairie and someone had died she left a note behind that was something like this: Remember me with smiles and laughter for the that's the way I'll remember you. If you can only remember me with tears then don't remember me at all.

I hope in time you both can do that. I know I'm trying...

Strick, please tell your husband that he absolutely did the right thing. The only reason he feels such intense pain is because he is capable of such intense love. That ability to love is a gift that so many people don't have. His act of mercy towards your beloved pet was done out of love.

My wonderful pet died one week ago today and I too am suffering. What has helped me most was talking to friends who have lost pets and experienced the same distraught grief as me, and posting here on this message board. Have your husband talk to friends who have lost pets. He will see that he is not alone in his grief. It's important to know that what we are feeling is not abnormal. The grief is so intense that we can't believe it's normal. It is.

Lan

I lost my ferret Saturday and I too am having a hard time dealing with this. But from talking to close friends and others I am learning that what we are going through is normal and it shows that you and your husband (and myself) were caring people and loving people. Those who don't love as deeply as we do just accept it and move right into the next day.

Because of our love and caring, we can't just let it go. We have to grieve. And it's a sad and depressing thing to have to go through but I believe as each day passes it will get better. That's hard for me to see right now, but with time, it will.

I am sorry for your loss and I wish I could make it all go away for you and your husband and snap my fingers to return you guys to a time before when things were better and happier.

We know when we take these animals into our lives and love them and care for them and get their unconditional love in return, we know that their lives are shorter and we will inevitably have to deal with their deaths. But pets don't fear death. They live their lives in that natural cycle and they know when it's time. But they don't live each day in fear of death. Death is a much different thing I believe for an animal than for a human.

I hope your husband will grow into this with each day and not feel so bad for what he had to do and what happened. No amount of wondering or thinking "what if" is going to change anything. So he has to move ahead and remember her as the happy, sweet pet she was to him and you too. Live through her happiness and memory instead of through your grief. Grieve, by all means, but live.

To Sissi's dad: What you did was the noble and right thing. Your action, as hard as it probably was, was one to make things better for Sissi. If someone else had been her owner, they may not have loved her as much you did and might not have done anything for her, even if it was making that awful decision you had to make. She might have been left to suffer until she was found dead one day. She was very fortunate to have you as her owner. You did for her what she needed you to do, regardless of how hard it was. Sissi had great parents, obviously, and she was loved and that is what is important. No words can take away the pain, but they can help get you through another minute, hour or day.

Sissi is happy now and she's waiting for you guys on the other side, and you'll see her again. Just think that she's happy now and playing with her sister every day. They're together and they're happy and they want you guys happy on this side too.



Jamie, Buddy's dad.