samhaincat
Sep 2 2005, 11:29 PM
My sweet silver shaded persian kitty, Nymph is not doing well. She is 18 years old and she has kidney failure and she is hyper thyroid. She is still well hydrated and hasn't required subcutacious fluids but last night I sat up with her until 2:00am thinking that she was dying. her breathing had become quite laboured and she went under the bed so far I couldn't reach her. After awhile she came out and I gave her some rescue remedy. I kept checking on her all through the night and she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. When i awoke this morning she was on the bed with me. She also ate her breakfast and her dinner tonight, but despite all this she is deteriorating, I can see it in her eyes.
I'm so sorry if this brings back sad memories but I plead with anyone who has been there when a pet passes naturally to share with me what to expect so I can be prepared and can be calm and try to make those final moments as peaceful as possible. I have Rescue Remedy and Arseni%% Album to hopefully ease the discomfort but aside from my sweet Spicey who died peacefully in her sleep 2 weeks ago I have never had a pet die naturally, without a vets assistance.
I would be so grateful to anyone who could share with me what I need to brace myself for.
Thank you...
rushie'smom
Sep 3 2005, 07:50 AM
My pet was euthanized, so I can't really help in that regard, but I wanted you to know my heart goes out to you right now. It's not easy whichever way they pass. With Rush, we were all there and we were petting him, telling him how much we loved him, that everything was going to be okay and that he'd soon be all better. My vet, bless his heart, kept telling him what a good dog he'd been. He'd had to do numerous painful procedures on him over the years and was always amazed how tolerant and good-natured Rush always was about it. Never fought him, just seemed to know he was trying to help him and took it like a trooper.
I'll be sending you my prayers for a peaceful passing. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Kathleen032
Sep 3 2005, 10:01 AM
In my adult life I've lost 3 furkids...I had to have my kitty, Dolly and my pup, Shiloh put to sleep, Hobbie passed away on her own. Hobbie had been sick for a couple of weeks and developed fatty liver syndrome. Even though I had a feeding tube put in, which is required a lot of times for a kitty to recover from FLS, she didn't get better. After the feeding tube was put in, she had a couple of good days, but I think her body had already started shutting down. On her last day, I think she must've had a heart attack or something. I was getting ready to give her one of her feedings when she cried out with a single meow and went limp. She was still breathing, but I could tell that she was in the process of dying. I made her comfortable and stayed with her. I held her paw and petted her...about two hours later she died. In the scope of things, her passing was very peaceful. She gasped a couple of times right before she died, but she didn't cry out in pain.
Here's the interesting thing...for several days before she died I kept telling her she had to get better because I couldn't bear the thought of losing another baby in less than a year. As I was laying next to her, holding her paw, knowing she wasn't going to make it, I told her it was okay to go...within a few minutes she died. I think part of the key to a peaceful passing is letting your pet know that it's okay for them to leave. I think our pets spend their entire lives trying to please us, and if they think we're not okay with them leaving, they fight to stay alive.
You and Nymph are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Kathleen
PS - Nymph is absolutely beautiful.
Meow's Mom
Sep 3 2005, 12:02 PM
I was in your position 8 years ago with my Tabitha cat, who also had kidney disease, and my heart goes out to you. She had some of the same hiding behaviors, but eventually came out from under the bed. She started getting very cold, so I held her and wrapped a blanket around us and that seemed to comfort her. She ate and drank, but got to the point where her legs just collapsed out from under her in the litter box. She couldn't get up on the bed that night, so I slept on the floor with her, wrapped in lots of blankets despite the fact that it was May. I held her and stroked her and told her how much I loved her, trying to keep the tears out of my voice, but that's nearly impossible. She continued drinking, a little at a time, from a juice glass (at that point, she was too weak to get to the water dish). As I told her that it was okay to go, she did, and she shuddered terribly when she went. It was very alarming and haunted me for a long time.
We lost our Meow cat on August 19. She too had kidney disease, but this time she stopped eating and drinking and the fluids really weren't helping. We made the very difficult decision to put her to sleep because her eyes seemed to be pleading with us to do so. The experience was far more peaceful for her, and I think she suffered a lot less than Tabitha did.
You and Nymph will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I just went through it last week and watched as my pet slowly deteriorated. The day before she died, she had a glassy look in her eyes. I sensed that she was half here and half somewhere else. I hugged her and told her how much I loved her. For me, the stress and agony I felt leading to her death was excrutiating. When she did pass, I thought, well, it's done then, and I felt a sense of relief that her suffering was over. I couldn't bring myself to move her for a few hours. It's better if you have someone with you. The first day after that was a blur. I remember feeling total disbelief that any of that had actually happened.
I constantly thought about her lying there. I couldn't get the image out of my mind, but now 6 days later, it's starting to fade a bit.
I realized that no one can understand the pain of the last days with your pet unless they have gone through it themselves, whether it's making that tough decision to euthanize them, or to watch them die naturally. It doesn't matter. The pain is there either way.
You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you will take comfort in that you are not alone in your suffering. We are all in this together.
Lan
Kaluja
Sep 3 2005, 02:17 PM
This is so hard to write about, but I need to share my experience with you. My baby Kaluja was 16 yrs old and was dieing of Kidney failure and Anemia. I chose to let him die at home because he never seemed to want to hide from me and die. He hated the vet and up tp the very end just wanted to be near me. The hardest part of his passing was that I don't think he wanted to go and as the process started he looked scared, but I held him and he calmed down. He had started grabbing at me at one point with a look of fear and that image still haunts me. It took hours for him to pass away. He went into Shock, that's when their pupils get big and they go aren't there mentally anymore, then I just held him and pet him for about 7 hours while his body shut down. I still fill some guilt for not taking him to the emergency vet when it started so that his body wouldn't have to go through the hours of shutting down, but I can't change that now. I'm glad he got to pass at home, but I wish it was during the day and I wish I could have had a vet come to the home when he went into shock and put him to sleep. He meowed alot when it was starting to let me know that he needed me near him. Then he went into shock. The one thing I know for sure is don't be alone. There can be convulsions and weird breathing and it can be scary and upsetting. Don't forget about about the liquid that leaves the body after they pass. Just keep talking to her and let her know it's ok to go. When I told Kaluja it was ok and not to be afraid he stopped grabbing at me and calmed down.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. This experience left me somewhat traumatized, but I'm getting better everyday and I am grateful that I was capable of being with my baby till the very end.
Sarah
samhaincat
Sep 9 2005, 10:26 PM
I just wanted to thank you all so much. I think it may be happening now. I came home from work and she seemed ok. I had to go back to work tonight and just as I was leaving I noticed her breathing being very laboured. I gave her some rescue remedy but she actually started panting with her mouth open. I called and said I wasn't coming in. She doesn't want to stay on my lap, but she is lying down on the carpet and thankfully her breathing has evened out, every so often she makes a strange groaning noise but when I pet her she purrs and nuzzles her head in my hand. I'm hoping she will fall asleep and go peacefully in her sleep. she has been getting weaker lately, although somehow she made it on my bed this morning. I don't want her suffering . I'm going to spend the night lying beside her. Please wish for her peaceful passing. she is such a sweet cat and has been such an integral part of my life for 18 years. I love her so much.
tammy
Sep 9 2005, 10:47 PM
My thoughts are with you tonight.
When I took my cat to the emergency clinic and I held her for the last time, she too was making those groaning noises.
I will never forget that noise. I don't think that the grunts were noises from pain, as the vet said she was too far out of it by then to feel pain.
She also was panting with an open mouth, which the vet said they do sometimes when their temperature drops and they get cold.
Anyway, my cat died about 7 hours later. The vet said it was very quick and painless for her. So hopefully when it is Nymph's time to go and play with your other cat, it is also painless.
On the one hand I dont want you to lose your other kitty so soon, but on the other hand, I don't want her to feel pain, so if that means its tonight, I guess that is for the best. EIther way, I am sorry you are having to deal with this.
Take care
-Tammy
Cathi
Sep 9 2005, 11:07 PM
((((Sam and Nymph)))))
I know this is so hard and I don't know how one eases the pain when our pets are our kids. I lost my beautiful and sweet Tico - my husky yesterday.
I did some things that I just had to do. I told him thank you for his life and the kind of love that few humans can give, and for being my best friend. I cried so much before we put him to sleep and he didn't seem to mind. He seemed to understand and even tolerated it I think. I have not decided what to do as a goodbye ritual for us, the ones who remain in pain.
Several years ago, I knew my calico cat was dying when she lost weight and stopped eating and drinking. She had breast cancer. One of the things I did besides crying and holding her all the time and telling her how much she meant to me was to pet her alot and to try and capture the memory of her soft fur in my hands. I really focused on this and I can still feel the softness of her. I promised her I would plant flowers on her grave and I planted some nasturtiums over her grave. It was the ritual that helped a little.
I buried her outside my window so I could feel her spirit every day.
This is one of the hardest things we go thru, I think. I wish you peace and good memories of your pretty baby.
hugs
Cathi
samhaincat
Sep 9 2005, 11:26 PM
Thanks so much Tammy. I wish I would have had some more time in between my two old girls going, even though it's been 3 weeks since Spicey died it feels like it was just a few days ago.
Nymph is right now sleeping quietly and her breathing is gone back to normal. Ever so often she gives one of those odd grunts but I think you are right I don't think she is in pain.
Well as I'm writing this she just sprang up with yet another groan and went into the kitty litter box and then jumped up on the fireplace hearth and lay down there. I just went and picked her up and she purred. Which makes me wonder if she is now feeling better. This is agonizing. A week ago she did the laboured breathing and I thought she was going, this time however was much worse with the panting. Now she's lain down and is once again sleeping peacefully.
I guess it's all a waiting game, perhaps there will be a few more cuddles over the next few days after all.
Thanks for your kind words and wishes, I'm going to go and lie beside her again.
samhaincat
Sep 10 2005, 12:21 PM
Dear Cathi, Thank you so much for your messages last night, especially considering how much pain you yourself are in after losing your beloved Tico. My thoughts and hugs go out to you also.
Nymph made it through the night, in fact I think she's feeling better than I am this morning. I have a splitting headache and am exhausted. She was sitting up meowed at me loudly and demanded to be fed. She polished off her plate - I can't believe that this is the same cat from last night who was panting and groaning and looking for a dark corner to crawl into. I know it won't be much longer but at least I have a few more cuddles to give her till then.
I'm so sorry about your Tico. The only consolation I can think to give since it is the one that gives me peace also, is that our pets couldn't have been loved more and that compared to a grand scale out there our pets had much better lives than the majority of unwanted, abused animals some of whom never experience any love.
Hugs...
tammy
Sep 10 2005, 04:09 PM
I am so glad to hear that Nymph is feeling better!
-Tammy
Ingrid's dad
Sep 12 2005, 11:17 AM
Howdy--
My little friend Ingrid died August 25. That was a lousy day.
She was almost 18 (born October 19, 1987), and she had held out like a trooper during her last years despite persistent anemia and some degradation in her kidney function. She had slowed down some, but she still liked to prowl around and she was very much aware of and intrigued by her surroundings and our visitors. I had been very proud of her (and I told her so all the time) because of the way that she drank her water for me, and after having moved to our first house together, after living in apartments for 17+ years, she was even gaining some weight.
Well, for a while, anyhow. As it turned out, she had little tumors seeded throughout her pancreas and gall bladder, and she had practically quit eating altogether. She tried to eat, but she couldn't, and the last few days it was an effort for her even to drink any water. I took Ingrid in for surgery to see if they could save her, because the tumors were too small to show up on the ultrasound, and they didn't even know for sure that cancer was present until they operated.
So what can you expect?
Well, you have to know when it is time, and even so it will be very hard. It is going to hurt like hell.
Ingrid had gotten to the point that she had real trouble sleeping. She would pace around, trying different locations and positions, but she couldn't seem to doze off. That was a bad sign. She was very uncomfortable. When I first realized she was in trouble, I moved her bed into my main room and started sleeping on a futon mat to be close to her. When I woke up and checked to see how she was doing, Ingrid had her paws tucked in watching me, protecting me as I slept, but she couldn't seem to go to sleep herself.
Another sign: For years I had told her "You can put your head down, Sweetie" as she lay on her side and I stroked her, but she had never done that. Instead she always lifted her head and looked at me very intently. But there were a couple of times in Ingrid's last few days when she finally did put her head down as I petted her, and she even closed her eyes. She must have been sooooooo weary.
This has been an awful time. I miss her more than I could have imagined. The reality sinks in slowly, in waves.
I'm glad I had three days off before I had to come back to work. Ingrid died at 2:47 Thursday afternoon; I had told the surgeon not to call me one way or another that day, because waiting to hear would have driven me crazy, but that I was taking off work early that Thursday, and that I would find out what the operation had revealed when I got down to the clinic. The surgeon looked things over inside Ingrid's tummy, and one of her colleagues agreed that Ingrid had nothing to look forward to except pain, so they followed my instructions that if it looked really bad, there was no point in bringing her out of the anesthetic.
I had no idea that I was capable of bursting into tears so many times. Sometimes after that it feels a little better.
I have set Ingrid up with a pretty nice little gravesite. I put some timbers around it and raised the surface about 9 inches, and I have begun planting some ornamental grasses which flower. Ingrid had actually selected the spot herself, on the last Saturday of her life; a friend of mine had come over a while, and we chcukled at the way she moved around the back yard. That spot may have been the only place in her whole life that Ingrid lay down in the grass--just the tips of her ears visible above the blades.
It's very lonely in my house these days, but it does help to remember such things as Ingrid prowling about the back yard. And I hated having to give her subcutaneous fluids, but you know what? She relaxed as we did that, and she even purred. It made her feel better.
I miss Ingrid terribly, but that's because I loved her, and because she loved me. This is no small thing. After almost 18 years, it is a very significant event in my life, and I make no apologies for that.
I'm glad that we didn't wait until Ingrid was absolutely miserable. She was uncomfortable but not in such pain that she vocalized it. Even on her very last night, she came over and snuggled up with me when I turned the light off to help me calm down & ease off to sleep.
Ingrid would still purr, too, although she took no interest in her toys those last few days--not even the magic catnip--and when she asked me to feed her, she would barely sniff at her food.
Ingrid hated all vets and their offices. So I regret that her last moments of consciousness were full of fear. She expressed that by hissing and growling and kitty-cursing. In fact, the last thing she said to me was a growl; I asked her "How you doing, Sweetie?" and her reply was like "How the hell do you think I'm doing, here at the vet's?" This may sound strange but I'm glad she let me know she was mad--like old times.
I didn't know that that was the last time I'd see Ingrid alive. They were trying to save her life. She didn't know that. But they couldn't help her. So it was time to let her go.
I wish that I could offer useful advice in terms of blunting the pain you may face. I can't. It's something you simply have to go through. I'm dealing with it now, and it hurts very badly, and I wish Ingrid were here so I could pet her and tell her how much I love her. That won't happen again.
But I'm going to keep rolling. Part of the time, this feels very surreal, as if I'm playing a role, and I wish it would go back to normal with Ingrid keeping me company, as she did for so many years. But this is the new normal. My kitty died.
Without wallowing in it, I'm also trying to recall many of the good times that Ingrid and I shared. I'm trying to let myself off the hook, too, so that I don't blame myself for not being able to save her. It's not my fault. It was her time. My time will come someday, too.
I miss Ingrid, but I'm looking forward to the day when I can think of her without experiencing anguish. That day will come. I'm sure of it. She always did her best to try and help me be happy, and it would be an insult to Ingrid if I never felt good about her again.
I don't know how much this might help you, but I hope it's worth something. I could tell that in her last days, Ingrid was afraid of letting me down. She loved me. But I had to let her go. I'm still working on that.
samhaincat
Sep 12 2005, 11:15 PM
Dear Ingrid's Dad,
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know how bad it feels. Your story brought back memories of my black persian Zody. He died August 20, 2003. He was two days short of being 16 1/2 years old. He had a tumour in his abdomen, and the vet thought it was bad. He gave me the option of leaving him as is and making him as comfortable as possible, or doing exploratory surgery although he was pretty convinced the tumour due to its location was inoperable. He said he could look and if there was nothing he could do, he could sew him back up and I could keep for as long as he was still comfortable or if he saw it was hopeless he would put him too sleep right then. I would have chosen the put him to sleep option. I didn't however have much time to think about whether or not to do the surgery, he got worse and when he stopped eating and just kept throwing up I too knew I had no option. I didn't want him to suffer. I had the vet come over and he put him to sleep but Zody fought that final needle with everything in him (the vet didn't think to bring a sedative-I have switched vets since then). It was a horrible last memory for me. But before the vet did it he checked him over and confirmed that the tumour had indeed grown even larger. ZOdy had anemia and was losing weight drastically. I knew in my gut instinct there was nothing to be done but to this day there is still a part of me that wonders if I shouldn't have kept him doped up on painkillers and let him go naturally.
I so know what you mean, when you have a pet for so long they are such an integral part of your life. Everything feels so empty without them.
Nymph made through Friday night and we made some wonderful memories this weekend. She has always been a cat very much afraid of being outside, yet she insisted on going out with me on Sunday. I put her on a leash and collar and she explored my backyard, then lay beside me in the grass for awhile then lay in my lap, then bolted off my lap and chased a butterfly. It was as if she was a kitten again. She slept on my chest all of last night.
Thank you for sharing your final moments with Ingrid with me. I know from Zody's death that the pain does ease and two years later I can think of happy memories but nothing detracts from the fact that I still miss him in my life.
I am still missing my little Spicey who just died just short of a month ago, even though I am very gratefully she went peacefully in her sleep. I just hope the same for Nymph.
Hugs...
Ilovejodie
Sep 13 2005, 07:42 AM
QUOTE (Kaluja @ Sep 3 2005, 02:17 PM)
This is so hard to write about, but I need to share my experience with you. My baby Kaluja was 16 yrs old and was dieing of Kidney failure and Anemia. I chose to let him die at home because he never seemed to want to hide from me and die. He hated the vet and up tp the very end just wanted to be near me. The hardest part of his passing was that I don't think he wanted to go and as the process started he looked scared, but I held him and he calmed down. He had started grabbing at me at one point with a look of fear and that image still haunts me. It took hours for him to pass away. He went into Shock, that's when their pupils get big and they go aren't there mentally anymore, then I just held him and pet him for about 7 hours while his body shut down. I still fill some guilt for not taking him to the emergency vet when it started so that his body wouldn't have to go through the hours of shutting down, but I can't change that now. I'm glad he got to pass at home, but I wish it was during the day and I wish I could have had a vet come to the home when he went into shock and put him to sleep. He meowed alot when it was starting to let me know that he needed me near him. Then he went into shock. The one thing I know for sure is don't be alone. There can be convulsions and weird breathing and it can be scary and upsetting. Don't forget about about the liquid that leaves the body after they pass. Just keep talking to her and let her know it's ok to go. When I told Kaluja it was ok and not to be afraid he stopped grabbing at me and calmed down.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this. This experience left me somewhat traumatized, but I'm getting better everyday and I am grateful that I was capable of being with my baby till the very end.
Sarah
" I am grateful that I was capable of being with my baby till the very end"
Anybody who can be there to comfort and soothe their babies right up until the end are SO fortunate.

A couple of months ago my baby died in agony and terror...alone,and when her lifeless body was handed to me by the household where she had died(she hung in a gap in their open cellar window)I murmured to her repeatedly,"I've got you,I've got you"but these words of reassurance came way too late
Please take comfort in the fact that you are ABLE to be there at the end,however agonising that experiance may be.
mom2adoxie
Sep 13 2005, 08:06 AM
First of all, let me say that your cat is absolutely GORGEOUS! I don't know that I've ever seen a more beautiful feline! I'm so sorry for what you've been going thru. At least with my dog, it was sudden. I didn't have to agonize too much over what to do. I do believe it helped me to be with him in his final moments.
My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you.
samhaincat
Sep 14 2005, 10:58 PM
To "I love Jodie": I am so sorry for your loss. I can imagine how you feel. Two years ago when my Zody died, I searched the web grief pages and ended up reading what a psychic had written and he said with all those he 'communicated' with who had passed, all said that we the living tend to concentrate on the end of the lives of our loved ones which in reality is only a miniscule second in eternity, what we really should focus on are the many happy times. The end is only a very tiny insignificant moment. I took some comfort in that because I had Zody put to sleep and he fought terribly against the vet and the needle, I felt so guilty and I hope he can understand and forgive me, I wanted the end to be peaceful and loving just like his life had been. So now I try not to focus on those horrible final moments but rather on all the happy ones, and they were many and they were much more lengthy than those few short moments at the end. I hope you too will find some comfort and peace.
Hugs...
samhaincat
Sep 14 2005, 11:05 PM
To mom2adoxie,
Thank you so much, I've always thought Nymph is a beautiful, ethereal graceful little fairy cat. She also has a wonderful personality, not a mean bone in her body, gentle and sweet and loving. I used to lie on the floor on my stomach and she would climb on my back and give me a massage. If her claws were long it turned into a bit of an acupuncture treatment...ouch.
She is surprisingly still with me. I marvel that she can make it up on my bed, it is quite high but I have put a scratching post with levels beside it for her. Every morning I wake up with her stretched out on my chest purring. I love her so much, she is the last survivor of my much loved three, Zody passed two years ago and Spicey one month ago today.
Thanks for your kind words. Your little Frankie is just adorable...pictures can't bring them back but they focus on happy moments and I find they warm the soul.
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