I just got Odin's vet bill in the mail yesterday. I knew it would be coming eventually. Just when you think you free and clear... BAMM!!!!!!! You hit the wall without even breaking first. It just hurts and pains me. Some people around me see the money spent as a waste. But how can I place a price on what Odin brought into my life??? I honestly thought that he had a chance. I had to give him that chance. But it just wasn't meant to be. I just want him back so badly.... I would give anything to be able to cradle him in my arms, look into his beautiful gold eyes and kiss that dirty spot on his pink nose once more.

Loki must have sensed something was up with me last night. He just cuddled up and started to nuzzle against my neck and stayed with me as I cried myself to sleep. If I didn't have Loki I would be lost. I had always tried to prepare myself for life without Loki and Odin. Its inevitable, I knew it would happen one day. I just wasn't expecting it this soon though. Tomorrow will be five weeks without Odin. I can't believe how quickly it has all gone by. Maybe thats a good thing....

Thanks for listening,
Take Care All,
Cynthia

Cynthia,
I'm so sorry that brought up fresh pain for you. I'm still bracing for when Rush's final bill comes in and his ashes arrive back at the vet's office. I'm glad you have another furbaby to love and comfort you. We're never ready and it's always so much harder than we thought it would be. I hope you're feeling better soon.

Rushie's Mom

I'm sorry that you've had this come up now. I remember getting my vet bill about 7 weeks after Luba died, and it made me feel so devastated again. I would have paid more - I would have gone into debt for life, but it wasn't to be. Luba just slipped away.
I hope your vet treated you well when you lost your Odin.

I noticed your babies names are the names of Norse Gods. I learned about those years ago. Neat that you called your furbabies those names.

I went ahead and called the vet this week and told them I wanted to go ahead and pay by credit card over the phone.
And I know several people that would've said something like "when it starts to cost that much, you should just let them go".... But I'm with Steph, I would've gone into debt for life if I knew it would save Diapey.

Cynthia, I'm so sorry the vet brought up fresh pain for you. I'm thinking of you.

Rushie's Mom, my thoughts are with you when you pick up the ashes. It really freaked me out for a few minutes when I got the urn. And then the pain and sadness comes back all over again. I know it will be hard.

-Tammy

Thanks guys,

I adopted them from a group of nuns that captured them. When we were tossing around names we wanted to keep some kind of religious theme. I really liked the name Loki from the movie Dogma, but I wasn't too keen on Bartleby. They were the fallen angels. So we decided on Norse Gods instead. My vet was really good. He gave us our options and told us what the outcome would possibly be. He was very honest. And I knew he did the best he could to save him. But, there was a chance that he could have pulled though, it was slim, but it was there. He was my baby, the cost wouldn't have mattered....

Keeping you all in thoughts and prayers..
Cynthia

Cynthia...I know the feeling of getting "THE BILL" in after such a loss. It's always devastating. It brings up the bad memories all over again. I haven't been able to go to the vets office to pick up meds for my other cat...I've been sending my son because I'm afraid they will ask how TJ is. I haven't been able to tell them that TJ passed away. I know that I will break down and start sobbing in front of everyone. I've been wanting to write a note to my vet to let him know but I keep putting it off. I somehow feel as if I let TJ down. How crazy is that! I know it's not true...for God's sake...TJ was 22!! Why am I thinking that? I also need to pick up some pictures that I had developed...there are pictures of TJ when I bought him a birthday cake to celebrate his 22 years of life. I'm afraid to look.
I think you and I lost our cats 1 week apart. It was 4 weeks last night for me. Are things getting any easier as the weeks pass by?

Love & Hugs,
Lisa...NOAH'S ARK

Bit by bit things slowly get better. His death came so early for me and was such a sudden shock and so traumatic that it is taking me longer to bounce back. I've lost other animals before and have gone through periods of grief with them, but nothing like this before. This experience was something completely new and very scary. As a child growing up, we always had a lot of animals. Some were my responsibility or my brothers' and were considered our pets, others were considered the family pet. Alot of our animals were hand-me-downs as well. We lived in navy housing and when families were shipped overseas or moving, they couldn't take their pets with them so they were usually pawned off on whoever were willing to take them. Which was usually us! LOL!!! I am almost dreading going to the rainbow bridge because I know I'm gonna be facing a stamped when I get there. I have always had an animals in my life. I couldn't fathom not ever having one or several with me at once.

Loki and Odin were semi-feral when I had gotten them, alot of TLC was devoted to taming and domesticating them. The end result was two of the sweetest, most loving and devoted cats that I have ever had in my life. I still harbor a fair amount of guilt that comes and goes. If I had reacted sooner he might still be alive. And I think that is what pains me the most. I try not to think like that. He knows that I love him and occasionally I feel him reaching out to me letting me know that he is okay. While its still comforting, it hurts none-the-less. I also feel bad for Loki. I worry that he may be lonely, but I dont want to rush into getting another companion for him. I'm simply not ready for it.

But it is getting better, slowly it is. I have started to make a scrapbook of him and his brother. I am amazed as how quickly the time has gone by. I can talk about him without turning into a blumbering fool. Occasionally I will break down. I have tried to surround myself with positive people and positive thoughts.

Loki has to go to the vet again for his vaccinations. I brought him a few weeks ago for a check up out of paranoia. When I saw the reminder for the vet last night that guilty feeling came back again. But I know that I did everything that I could for Odin. Most importantly, he knows that I tried.

I hope that things are going easier for you. You had 22 yrs with TJ and I know that he was a constant presence in your life. And I can only imagine how devestating that was for you. I know that void hurts and I can only tell you to take it day by day. Try to remember the good, happy times. With time, it does get easier...

Hugs to All
Cynthia