All,

First, thank you all for reading my posts and responding to me; it really does help to know there are people out there who truly understand how I feel. Tomorrow I will be picking up my cat Diapey's ashes, and I'm sure I will feel like it is day 1 all over again. If I need to write about it, I will come here and post and know that I am in a few people's thoughts as they read my posting. And that they understand, even if they don't respond.

I want to say that everyone on this board is such a loving, caring, and kind person, and it shows by the real pain you feel at the loss of your pets. It shows by the support you give to others. The amount of love on this board, towards pets and others, absolutely amazes me. I don't think that there are that many people that spoil and love their pets like we do, and it makes me happy that there are more people like this than I thought. Has anyone ever asked you why on earth you let your cat up on the kitchen table or countertops while you're eating? Or why you let your dog sleep in the bed with you? Has your significant other ever told you sometimes they feel like you love your pet more than him/her?
My guess is that there are ALOT of yes answers.

So, I feel very sad when someone here blames him or herself and experiences tremendous guilt. I know it's perfectly natural to feel these feelings. But I truly believe that if you weren't the best possible "parent" you could be, you would not even be on this board seeking comfort or giving support. Every story I read tells me that every single person did everything they possibly could to save their pet. I know that no one here would ever ever EVER do anything to harm their pet, all these pets had such loving homes.

To those of you who are feeling guilt and blame, I wish I could say "stop feeling that way; you don't deserve it" and you would believe me. I wish it was that easy. But I know only time can take care of those awful feelings.
To those of you who are feeling tremendous sadness and pain, I'm right along with you. We can all get through this together. It will take time, and this is what this board is for - to help us get through the grieving process.

Anyway, every one of you is in my thoughts. Take care of yourselves.

-Tammy

Dear Tammy,

First off...I answered yes to all those questions.

And second off...your post was beautiful and so very true. Thank you for sharing those profound words.

Picking up Diapey's ashes will be difficult. I know for me picking up both Shiloh's and Hobbie's ashes was bittersweet...it made their passing so final, but on the other hand I knew that they were home with me to stay.

I'll be thinking of you as you bring Diapey home.
Hugs,
Kathleen

PS-I've been meaning to respond to your vacuuming thread...I still haven't washed Shiloh's nose smudges off the rear window of my car.

Tammy,

Good sound advice.....
As Kathleen stated, your post was excellent, and full of very solid advice.
Yet the guilt is still so hard to let go of!!! I am having a HUGE problem with this..
There are actually friends of mine who stated shortly after Dixie was killed "Gee, I bet you could just kick
yourself in the a** for not having her on a leash!"
I know they meant well, and their statement was totally accurate. I DO kick myself in the butt, EVERYDAY. However, those comments only helped to compound my already heavy grief. I know time will help.
But right now, it seems like I will NEVER recover from this. It has been about 7 weeks now. I
know it's still early.... I hope I can someday get over the guilt.
I am thinking of you as you pick up Diapey's ashes.
Getting Dixie's was so very hard...I stayed composed until I pulled into the vet's driveway...then I lost it.
But I am glad her ashes are here. Without them, I would only have memories, and not a "piece" of
her. However, I still tell God almost daily "I WANT MY DOG BACK!!!!!!!"
Thinking of you,
Dana

Dear Tammy,

Thank You for your comforting words. I wish you the best of luck when you pick up Diaapy's ashes today. I thank God I had my husband with me when I went. I couldn't even speak when I walked into the clinic. It was a bittersweet reunion for me. I wasn't sure what to expect but I just remember walking away feeling numb and hollow inside. Like Dana, I was happy to have his ashes back home with us, but it just wasn't the same.

Courage and Strength Tammy,
Cynthia

I totally lost it when I got her ashes a few hours ago. I am relieved to have her back with me, although I wish it wasn't like this. And I am so very glad it's not totally insane and weird to want to keep the ashes. I feel alot better knowing there are many of you who did the same thing.

On a brighter note, my other 2 cats have decided to "speak" to me again. I guess they have been mad at me because they have been avoiding me like the plague ever since Diapey went to the vet. I can tell Miss Kitty was/is very depressed (she's perking up a little now), but Cosmo doesn't seem to be mopey. Anyway last night I was laying on the couch and Cosmo jumped up beside me on a foot stool and curled up to take a nap (which, by the way, is supposed to be for the humans, but has his blanket draped over it and his official sleeping place. No one else is allowed to use it anymore). And Miss Kitty actually jumped on the sofa and laid down right beside me. And they both slept on the bed last nite, which they haven't done since Diapey left. So I guess they have finally "forgiven" me.

-Tammy