I lost my baby girl Thursday, August 18th, 2005. She was not quite 9 yrs old.The vet found a tumor on Wednesday and they went in the very next day to do exploratory surgery. The tumor was huge I could see from the x-rays. It took one of her kidneys and the other one was compromised by the urine text results. The vet called me in and said maybe wouldn't make it through surgery (it was right next to artery) or maybe 3 weeks to 6 months at best. She would go down hill for those 6 months. So that fast I decided to let her go right then. I couldn't put her through the recovery only to watch her die slowly. For the past three weeks she was not eating as much as normal. Then 1 week prior I noticed blood in her urine and took her right in, the tests showed bacteria and gave me some antibiotics and took home, then she basically only ate about 4 bites of food a day. that was when I took her in again and the very next day I lost her. I feel very guilty. I know it was the best thing for her, but the feelings I keep thinking about was that I didn't catch this in time or that I didn't give her all the attention I should have. I kno't know if I spent all 24 hours with her if that would have been eonugh. I know I spoiled her very much. My friend says the huge toybox tells as much and that I took her for rides and swimming when I could. I just can't help but feel that the last few months to a year I should have spent more time. We got a new puppy about a year ago and you know how much attention a new puppy needs. I always said hello to Mattie first and gave her as much attention, but I still feel bad. Sorry to drag on, my friend says to not make about me., Mattie knows I loved her.

So sorry to hear about your loss. I think you did the right thing, saving her from any pain and suffering.
It sounds to me like you took the best care of her that is possible, so you shouldn't feel guilty.
I agree with your friend that Mattie knew you loved her.

Hello

Iam so sorry for your loss, it is never easy. I know exactly how you feel. The guilt you feel is normal, I felt the same when I lost my Shandy. She to developed cancer and I failed to notice it, althought the signs were subtle at first. I figured it was old age creeping up on her. She was gone in less then 2 weeks after discovery of the tumor. Even if I had of found it, she would not have lived. I guess what Iam trying to say is that we don,t look for these things. We do not even think of these things, why would we? If a friend of yours, or a family member developed cancer, would you feel guilty for not knowing? Iam sure you gave Mattie a wonderful, spoiled life. Cancer is a horrible sickness that goes unoticed in everyone, until it is to late. Be gentle with yourself. Time will heal all.

Kerry