I know people are curious and they only want to help, but I can't imagine what they're thinking when they ask or suggest that I get another dog when mine has been gone barely 2 days! Nothing could ever fill the void he's left behind. I wouldn't even want a clone of him! I want my Rush! My special boy! It makes me angry that they seem to think I should move on so quickly! Would they think of saying this to a widow? "Are you going to get another husband?" Good grief!

If anyone is reading this, wondering how to comfort a friend who's suffered the loss of their pet, one thing to NOT do is to suggest a new pet! They will come to that decision on their own in their own time, but suggesting it soon after the loss is disrespectful to the grieving process that's necessary to the people who are suffering. That's my humble opinion anyway. I've found it hard to be nice when I respond to this question.

I knew I wouldn't get another pet when he eventually died. It wouldn't be fair to the animal. My schedule is very busy and I made an extra effort to be at home with Rush, because I was worried about his health and I knew he was getting along in years. The house is not as full as it was when he came into our lives, I'm divorced now, my son is going to college and my daughter will soon have a busy social life as a high schooler. We don't have the time to give an animal the love and attention it deserves right now. We still have our Miss Kitty and she gets lots of love when we're here, but she's pretty independent as well. None of the well-meaning friends have paused to consider what Rush's recent illnesses have cost me. I still haven't paid off the ICU visit which was over $1000 several months ago. I have no idea what the final visit and cremation costs will be, my vet told me just to go home and we'd take care of that later. The several days of visits prior to his death cost me many hundreds of dollars as it is. If they want to help, how about offering to help with the costs??? Not by suggesting I run out and get a new puppy!

Sorry for venting, I just had to be nice to my ex-husband which is not easy on the best of days and calmly answering why we were in the room with Rush and then answering if I was getting another dog was almost more than I could take!

Yes, I know just how you feel....After my Zip died, all I heard was.."Well, just get another dog!" What good would that do? They would make me feel so much worse! And then they'd say..."It's just a dog". NO, it is NOT just another dog!! Insensitive people.....I will never be that way, knowing the pain associated with the loss. That is why I'm back here today, I have a friend who is putting her dog to sleep, and I wanted a few comforting words, and a few poems to give her, when I give her the name of this site. Because, yes, sometimes we just want someone to understand. Next time someone asks you if you're getting another dog, don't let it upset you, just simply say..."not right now, I'll know when I'm ready" and leave it at that. Don't give those who don't understand the ability to upset you. I waited awhile, b'cuz I didn't know if I'd be able to love another dog. But then I saw the dogs looking for a good home, and I knew I had love to give.....and now I have 3. I'd have my own shelter, if I could. I LOVE dogs. Take your time, and don't let others anger you, especially now, so soon. Live in the good memories, I know it's hard, but re-living the good, does help. Trust me! Good luck...you're in my thoughts...Zips Momma

I think some people just don't know how to deal with a situation like this. For those who have not bonded with an animal, they see it as an object that you can easily replace. Others I think just get a sick joy out of watching you suffer. After Odin died I had people left and right offering me kittens. All I could do was bite my tougue from gouging out their eyeballs. It hurts when people place such little value on your recent loss emotional state. A woman at my workplace had lost her dog about the same time I lost Odin. She came over and asked me what happened and I started to tell her. And I explained about what happened.. the guilt about why it happened, the cremation and what to expect. Her comment of "well, now you can get another cat" and "at least you'll know better for next time" and others, did not sit to well with me. And this was coming from a woman who's dog had just died! It was the last thing that I was expecting. She said it with so much enthusiasm, I just wanted to throw her against a wall. If it weren't for the fact that Human Resources was directly across the hall from us I probably would have snapped. I just remember driving home that night crying in the car and feeling like the lowest of the low. Unfortunately, its something that we all have to deal with, except here at LS .

Take Care
Cynthia