We had to have our beautiful tortoiseshell Meow cat euthanized yesterday morning after a valiant struggle with kidney disease. She was only 12 or 13. She made the decision, but it was so damn hard...she was so perky on the way to the vet's office that we almost turned around. Once we were there, she turned back into the pitiful, skinny kitty who wouldn't eat or drink. We talked for a long time before she made the decision, looking up and saying "please end my pain" in her own special way. The physical part wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The vet, who also loved her very much, gave her a tranquilizer first and we sat with her and talked about all the good times...her favorite toys, silly antics, things we did to get on each other's nerves. We also talked about who she should look for at the Rainbow Bridge, and she's there right now telling everyone what's what (she always was a feisty little cat).

She went very peacefully, and that was a blessing. But now my husband and I don't know what to do. We look for her everywhere and things just seem so wrong without her. It's hard to sleep, and almost impossible to be cheerful and normal for our other cat, who's also looking for her and seems depressed. I've been through this before with my childhood cat who was 18 and died in my arms, but it hasn't gotten any easier.

I just can't concentrate and it's so hard to be here and know that she's not coming back. I also feel guilty because I was on a business trip and I think she waited for me to come home before deciding it was time to go. I'm honored that she wanted me here, but can't help wondering whether she suffered for me. We love her so much. Will the pain ever end?

I'm so sorry for your pain and your loss. I lost my pet this week also. The emptiness and the sorrow can seem overwhelming and endless. I know it will ease in time, but right now, when it's so recent, it's heartbreaking. I hope you find comfort in your memories of all the loving times you both shared and knowing that she's in a better place, without pain, waiting for you to join her and share more times together.

My daughter and I are making a scrapbook of our Rush and watching videos of his healthy days has really helped to replace the images of those last final moments with happier memories, maybe that would help you remember your little Meow.

Hope you feel better soon.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Your scrapbook will be a wonderful, happy reminder. Right now, it's still so hard to think about everything, but I've got all my photos of Meowy out and it helps to be able to look at her and know she's in a better place. I guess 'til now I hadn't realized how pitiful and skinny she was at the end...she looks downright chubby in the photos, even though she never was. Do you find yourself running out of tissues? I've already gone through a box and there's no end to the tears in sight.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my kitty Thursday nite (she was 12 1/2) and have gone through a box of kleenex, my nose is raw, and I doubt my eyes will ever not be swollen again.
I took my cat to the cemetary today. I still have 2 cats, and one of them has figured it out because she is roaming around looking for her friend and meowing, almost shrieking.
I am also wondering if the pain and tears will ever stop.

Take care

I'm so sorry about your loss, Tammy. It sounds like we're going through similar experiences. What was your kitty's name? Was the loss unexpected? Take care and try to get some rest. My eyes and nose are swollen, too, and I'm walking around like someone in shock. Is that happening to you, too?

First, I am very sorry for your loss. I don't know how much this will help, but I can tell you that the pain will lessen with time as it has for me. When we had to euthanize Daddy Cat I was devastated. There was a period of about two months where I felt torn apart by the emotions. As time went on I began to find joy in sharing with the other cats here. They will never replace Daddy Cat and I believe I will always miss him but the good memories now have taken the place of the tragic last days. His gift of love remains as your gift from Meow will in time. The guilt feelings are from your sense of loss. Meow was fortunate to have had such a loving family and a good life. No companion can ask for more and I'm sure that Meow is watching you from Rainbow Bridge with love and appreciation.

Meow's mom,

Her name was Diapey, and it was totally unexpected. I took her in for consiptation Monday, like I have a few times before, but the infection got into her blood and she was too weak to fight it; her white blood cell count was so low. She was sick Tuesday and the vets were worried, then she was getting better on Wednesday (I thought I would get to bring her home Thursday), and then Thursday morning she was worse again and that is when I took her to the pet internist and later she died.
Because of the low blood cell count, the vets think that there was most likely another underlying illness like lymphoma, that we didnt know about, that the blood cells were busy fighting .

I like to think that she gave up her battle because she did not want to have to put me through watching her pain and suffering in the months ahead that would include surgery and other tests, and the probable downhill battle with cancer. And of course, did not want to put herself through that either. She was such a sweet cat. I keep waiting for her to come around the corner of the hallway.
And yes, right now I am either crying my eyes out or walking around like I am in shock.

Maybe your cat was perky on the way to the vet because that was her way of saying that she knew she was finally about to be okay, and there would be no more pain or suffering.