On Tuesday morning, I had to put my Boots to sleep. He was 21 years old and had him since he was 3 months. My heart broke, he was so skinny, just bones.

I look at his picture every day and cry. I received a condolence card from the vet yesterday and I started crying all over again.

It is the first time I slept without a cat for 21 years and it is so hard.

I'm not even sure I will get another one. I know I can't replace him ever.

Barb

(((((( Barb ))))))))) my heart aches for your loss - we put our baby down yesterday, March 4, and it was soooo hard to let her go. I know the pain is all-consuming right now but one day a year or two from now, you'll remember something Boots did and you'll laugh and smile - you won't even cry -- you'll remember all the wonderful times you both shared together and you'll treasure all those memories. I know it hurts like hell right now, but it will get better, eventually. So many of us are going through the very same thing you are right now and we really do understand. We all miss our babies and just want to crawl in a hole and cry til we can't cry any more. Please take care of yourself -- write a little story about your sweet Boots, or a poem, or memories - then you can look at them later and re-read them and be reminded of all the wonderful things/memories/times shared with Boots.

lori

Thank you for sharing. It means so much to me. My husband just won't talk about it, so I guess I just need to vent to someone. I'm not saying he doesn't miss Boots, but he just keeps it bottled up.

Barb

men tend to do that, but realize that everyone grieves in their own way no
matter what sex they are. im sure this board can help

Hi Barb:

I am very glad you found your way to this site.....
No kitty will ever, ever replace your Boots - that I know - No one can replace my Ernestine... You & Boots had "something very, very special and that cannot be "copied" or "replaced" by another kitty.
If you can, read everyone's posts here; I found a LOT OF HELP when I first lost my girl on 2/7/2004.
You & I had "furbabies" of almost the same age--Ernie was 19 years, 10 months -- Ernie, being a "girl", probably hated me saying "Oh, she's 20...."..
I know we talked a bit about how, in the end, they were skinnier. Loss of weight, wouldn't eat, retching.
I know, Dear God I know, that Ernie and all of our beloved "furbabies" are up in Heaven at Rainbow's Bridge having a blast, because there is no more suffering and there is no more pain. There is endless water, and endless food. They are all waiting for us to pass over, and when we do, they'll come and get us.
I thought I dreamt of Ernie last night, but, I can't remember the details.... I just remember seeing a hefty (she was 16 pounds at her heaviest) "tortie", double pawed ... Must've been my Ernie, but is was in my old neighborhood, when I was a teenager.

Men do grieve in their own way...... some are very quiet... some will cry with you. He could have cried out on his own. Maybe had a tear in his eye, and wiped it quickly away so that you wouldn't suspect. We are all different creatures, and we grieve differently.
I'm glad that everyone who is here, IS HERE!!!!!
There is not a better site, in my mind.

That was very nice of your vet to send a card..mine didn't. Next time I see him, I'll have to mention that that would be a nice touch.
In the early days, when I wasn't crying as much (not all day), I received a knock on the door, "Flowers for you".......... I thought, "who is sending me flowers??"
The only person in the world who would is my boyfriend Ben....Though Valentine's Day was a few days away.
I received a beautiful bouquet of lovely flowers and it read, "We're sorry to hear about the loss of Muffins" (that was her 1st name- she had about 10 names).
The flowers were from my brother Steven, wife Dawn & 3 kids xoxoxoxoxo.
I was shocked!!!!! But, they knew how much my daughter meant to me.
But, when the cards are down, family does show up - we are always there for one another when the chips are down; but, we don't speak that often..... Receiving that beautiful bouquet reminded me of the "love that my human family does share"....
I cried for days looking at the flowers because I was always "so afraid to keep any flowers near Ernie". I used to put them above the fridge; I couldn't enjoy them - she couldn't eat them...
Now, in front of me, were flowers that were so lovely.. Ernie's bouquet....

All of our furbabies are over Rainbow's Bridge having a blast. That keeps me sane.
Love, Denise

Hi Barb. I am so sorry to hear about Boots. We are all so lucky to have our babies for such a long time (even though it isnt long enough). I lost my sassy tabby girl "tay-tay" on May 7th of 2003. She was 19 (would have turned 20 in June). As I held while the vet helped her go to the bridge, it felt like I had just brought her home for the first time the day before. In my heart I know that 30 or 40 years would have been too short to enjoy her. As far as getting another baby...you wouldnt be replacing Boots, but boots might send someone into your life that needs the love he knows so well. I was not going to get another baby, but in January I was at my firehouse and kept hearing this little squeak. I searched and searched. Almost went home, but searched once more. To my surprise....I found the tiniest (vet said not even 3 weeks old) black and white dirty little fur baby who was too weak to stand. She was stuck up in the back of one of our old stoves at the station. To make a long story short-I believe Tay-Tay sent her to me to love. (I did check for other kittens or her mom, but didnt find any). Please know that I am sending you hugs and that I asked Tay to show Boots around.

Take care,
Kimberly

Even 21 years is not enough time... I hope you are feeling a little better - if not, please know that we all understand exactly what you are feeling and our hearts ache to remember the pain you are going through.

Time will ease that pain but until then, feel free to cry yourself to sleep and let your pain run it's course.

We're here for you.

thank you everyone. It certainly does feel better "talking".

This morning something weird happened. My husband and I were out in the screen room and this cloud passed by. It looked just like a cat and I thought, there is Boots, he's going to the Rainbow Bridge and I really felt a little bit better. I know it wasn't my imagaination.

My husband finally started talking about him last night, which I am so happy about. I felt he needed to talk, but the time wasn't right.

I look at his picture every morning and every evening, and I think, he can't be gone. But, sadly he is, and he will always be in my heart 4-ever. Poor little guy. He went through so much, but at least he is happy now and playing with all his new friends (and old friends) too.

Barb

Hi Barb:

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING A SMILE ON MY FACE...

I truly believe that the cloud you saw go by WAS your Boots!!!! A very happy sight, and a very happy thought!! I know that it was not your imagination...

I'm also glad to hear that your husband has started to talk.....we are all very different "human creatures".... we all grieve differently....

Boots WILL ALWAYS be in your heart, in your soul and in your head. And, Boots is playing with all of his friends - old & new; hopefully he & Ernie have met....

The thought that Ernie is up there playing, running, eating & enjoying new friends - that makes me sane. I have to believe in that..believe in something...

I just know that I gave Ernie-Bird the best life that I could - great veterinary care; all the comforts of home..... At 19 yrs., 10 mos., her tiny body couldn't go on. She was ill and it would've been SICK of me to keep her here for myself..I don't believe anyone in their right mind would do that.. I hope to God not.

I think this site is wonderful...all the people here who post.. I WOULD NOT be where I am without this site, and, of course my beloved "human Ben ".

I still cry, but I laugh as well. And sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, I think I see my little girl..... Weird, but it's true; and, that is comforting.

God Bless,
Love, Denise