I killed my best friend. She was my rescued Samoyed girl. I had her for many years and age was starting to show. I had taken her to the vet in the past few weeks but they told me nothing was wrong. That horrible morning she demanded I take her in the car. I got in and it wouldn't start. I've started that car over 1000 times and never had an ounce of trouble. Since it wouldn't turn over, I had totake my husband's van, which I never drive. When I got in it, who had already jumped in? She refused to get out. She came everywhere with us and I didn't have the heart, or the reason to tell her to get out. After all, I was just dropping the kids off to school. On my way back, I asked her to come up and sit next to me b/c she loved to be pet when I was driving, and she loved to be in the front seat. For the very first time she didn't come up front. She only went to the middle seat which I thought was odd. When I came home and got out of the van I didn't see her and went in the house. SHe was too big and too loud to miss. Apparently she got in the back seat and I never saw her alive again. I never heard her bark although I was 10 feet away! She always barked. But the hours went by and my husband went out and it was too hot. I killed my dog. Oh my God, how does one cope with this horror?

I am so sorry for what has happened to you... but you DID NOT kill your dog! What happened was an awful tragedy but it was an ACCIDENT. We call them accidents, not "on purposes" because we don't mean for things to happen. Had you done this becaue you were "too busy" to worry about a dog in a car, then you would have been at fault. You didn't... and you musn't beat yourself over this. I think all of us here have felt the guilt of losing an animal, just in different ways. Some of us had our animals escape, some were euthanized, some were given heroic measures to survive and died anyway at a vets office, others chose to bring them home and lost them there... no matter how or why we ALL feel some measure of guilt about the loss of animal friends. The important thing is dealing with the guilt and grief in the best manner we can... best of wishes to you and know that your friend harbors no ill will toward you.

Amy

I'm sorry for your loss but what I don't understand is why you didn't take him out of the van when you got out or searched to make sure he'd gotten out with it being so hot. I'm not being mean or insensitive but last night when I read your post those thoughts came to mind.

I am truly sorry for your loss.


Wanda

You poor dear soul ~ remember how much you LOVE ~ this is the only thing that matters ~ your baby knew you loved her ~ we do not know the bigger picture that God has planned ~ please do not destroy your spirit with self loathing and despair ~ this is a tragedy for you and for your family ~ I am so sorry this happened ~ If your baby was old ~ it is possible that she just passed normally ~ please remember what a wonderful life you had together ~ and you are a warm compassionate and caring human being and it is a gift to give that love and compassion to our animal companions and friends ~ I wish you peace and comfort in the days ahead ~ may God hold you in the hollow of His hand during this journey of grief ~ Your Friend in Hope for Animals and All the Earth ~ Kathryn

Dear friend,

YOU DID NOT KILL YOUR DOG! you obviously adored your pet and this was a terrible accident. I too am feeling very guilty over the death of my cat.
Your dog will be so sad to think that you are sad.
Please don't make yourself suffer any longer, please.
You are a good person,
Lisa xx

aja,

My thoughts are with you. You just have to talk it on on this site, with friends and anyone who is supportive. It's gonna take time. Be gentle on your self.

Luna

I'm so very sorry you are feeling so bad about this, but it sounds as if it was probably a tragic coincidence.

I am sure that you were not in any way responsible for your doggie's demise and that she probably passed naturally at some point during the journey.

You say she was getting on in years and was beginning to show her age and that you had been to the vet with her. You say she always sat on the front seat with you, but when you called her from the back, she only came as far as the middle seat which was very unusual

Why did she not scamper out of the van with you when you left the van, or make herself known. I think she may have already died at this time.

There is no way that as you opened the door of the van when you got home that she would not have made herself known and jumped out. What dog wouldn't?

I think its very likely that she passed naturally at some time during that journey, the first sign being that she could not make it into the front seat.

Please do not beat yourself up about it. I think her death was a natural one. I am sure you miss her so very much, but please don't think it was your fault.

with love
jilly

Oh Honey, you did NOT kill your dog. They call those accidents for that very reason. If you had intentionally done something like that it would be different. PLEASE don't continue to beat yourself up like this. You did not kill your dog. Oh sweetie, my heart breaks for you because I can feel your pain through your words. Please, PLEASE don't do this to yourself!!


((((HUGS))))

Julie

Frankie 2/14/02 - 9/7/05

Please be strong it was a terrible accident. I don't know why they happen but they do.....Please hang in there... Like someone said earlier your dog may have passed away earlier without you realizing it...Take care and God Bless

Even though this is very tragic..remember it is not forever..one day all of us will die and hopefully most of us will go to heaven..if you are going then I believe you will see your beloved friend again and can do whatever see cant die from anything up there, but now she is watching you and even if you cant see her she is your gaurdian angel and will take care of you like you did for her for years

I really don't know what to say....that is sooooooo sad and I am so sorry you have had to go through this. I can't possibly imagine how you feel.
All I can say it what somebody told me a year ago on this site that changed my outlook forever. "your baby was strong and you have to be strong for her, too" You have to pick yourself up and know that this was an accident. I know in my heart that your baby is safe and sound. You rescued her when she needed it and maybe it was her time to go. You helped to extend her life by resuing her...you did not kill your dog. You had every intention of providing a loving happy home nd you have done just that. Maybe she knew it was her time nd that is why she did not come up front. Animals are very intuitive and they have a way of knowing things we just possible could not know. I hope this helps in your time of greif. And grieve...but please don't carry the guilt with you. Your baby would want for you to be happy, that was her mission in life, to make you happy. So be happy in the memories you shared and the love you gave eachother.

You did not intentionally kill your dog. Its clear (i'm sure not only to me) that you loved this dog very much and would never hurt her on porpous. This was just a horrible accedent and though it might not help right now, please know that your not truely at fault.