Hey everyone! It's me again. Just wanted to say thanks to everyone who helped and supported me through this unbearable time. Your kindness truly helped me begin the healing process, and now I would like to post something that may help someone else.

To get a new cat, or not to get a new cat? That was my question.

When Osi passed away, as you probably know, I was heartbroken. Even though I understood that he had cancer, and even though I was thankful for every moment we had ever shared, I was still so very devastated. His loss, to me, was like losing a vital organ - I simply could not function without him in my life.

As the weeks began to pass, I did not feel that much better. I realize that these things take time, but everyone around me seemed to be able to at least move forward some, but I couldn't. I'd have good days, and bad days, and it was almost like clockwork really. My husband was really worried about me. I felt stuck in a rut.

Inside, I knew that I wanted to get another cat. I had strong reasons for this, much of which I could not seem to put into words that anyone would understand. My husband did not want another cat - he said that it was too painful right now. I understood that, but I could not deny my feelings, so I began to keep them in. I felt strange, like I was the only person on the planet that thought this was the right thing to do. Everyone said to wait, it was way too soon. People seemed to think I was crazy - how could I want another cat so quickly? Was something wrong with me?

My husband and I fought about it many times, and eventually, one day I expressed all of my feelings. I told him that I was not content to live in my Mo's absence. I just felt that I could not even learn how to move on without seeing another little kitty's face. I was a hero to my Mo, saving him from abuse and home after home after home, and to be honest, I missed that special connection that only he and I could share.

After this explanation, my husband seemed to understand that I wasn't looking for any cat, I wasn't looking to replace my SnowMoMo (Abominable MoMan), but I was looking for the "right" cat. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone, but I was looking for a cat that I could "save" in honor of my Mo. Someone who'd had a hard life, someone I could help trust people again.

Finally, he understood and supported me on this new journey, holding my hand as we explored shelter after shelter. I must have seen 200 cats, no kidding, and though all were sweet and great, none of them "felt" right.

After a long search, I finally found the right cat. A beautiful blue point Balinese. This cat was at a wonderful no-kill shelter in my area that allows the cats to roam freely throught several rooms, however, he was in a cage. It took a day or so to find out why he was seperate from the horde - was he sick? FIV?

We soon found out that he wasn't sick at all - just FERAL! Wow! We couldn't believe it! He had been trapped a few months before and the shelter had been trying to work with him - they had done a good job, because even though he was skittish, he was already somewhat friendly - not completely, mind you, but almost.

I took him home and let him set up shop in my largest bathroom. At first, he wouldn't let me touch him, he was VERY scared. You could tell that he was not too keen with people just yet. I thought, What did I get myself into??? Am I crazy?

Well, I have been working with him for a week and a half now, and he is becoming the sweetest little thing! He loves to play with cat toys (can you believe he was 10 months old before he ever played with his first feather on a string?) and he purrs like a motor! He now lets me touch him, and even lets my husband pet him, too. As a plus, we already know he loves to be with other cats, and hopefully won't mind a little dog that adores cats, too.

We named him Horus, because according to Egyptian myth, Horus was the son of Osiris, and in Horus, Osiris' spirit is rejuvinated. And everytime I look into Horus' eyes, I believe this is true. My Mo, my beautiful Mo, helped guide me to this cat because he knew that we would need each other, and I thank him for it.

So you see, getting another pet soon may not be for everybody, but it has really helped me heal. It has forced me to realize that things do change, and even though I will miss my Mo forever, I have to continue forward, as life tends to do this. If you have read this and identified with these feelings, you might want to consider getting another pet as well. And if someone in your life doesn't understand your feelings, have them read this, too.

Thanks again for listening everyone!

Hi Osilover:

I am so very happy for you!!!! I am very happy to hear of your new "furbaby". I certainly believe that it was your beloved "Mo" who led you to your new baby!!!

Maybe you can give me some advice about feral cats; I had rescued 3 out of 4 kittens - the mother took the other baby away in an alley...I couldn't get to them. (this was about 6 years ago). My sister-in-law took the babies (who were about 3 weeks old) to a shelter where they were tiny bottle fed, and all adopted.... A happy ending.

Ben & I are going to be looking for 2 new "furbabies" when we return from vacation around 3/22ish. The silence in this house is deafening. I have believed that our beloved Ernestine will lead us to the appropriate shelter......

No one will ever replace my little girl...she was just so very special, and I will love her forever. But, I have had kittens/cats (my mom had them, even before I was born) all of my life. I need to see a sweet little face.... to feel someone jumping on my bed in the AM..... to meow b/c they're hungry.

Keep us posted on your new baby!!!

Take care Osilover,
Love, Denise

WOW - I read your post and thought it could have been ME who posted it!! I understand completely. Maybe it's the martyr complex in me, but rescueing another little furbaby was exactly what I needed to stop the tears from coming so often and so strongly.

My new Oscar is a delight, and every single thing he does reminds me of the most wonderful moments of Edgar and Jesse's lives!!! The purring, the cuddling, the "padding" up and down with their paws when they're about to go to sleep!!!

Some things I had forgotten in my grief were brought back to memory - some delightful, some sad, but all in all I think that saving a new little furbaby was the best thing I could have done to help myself heal. NOT a replacement - I call him their "nephew".

Congratulations on your new little one - and thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for saving him and teaching him what a family is all about.

Hi guys!

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who felt this way - I really thought I was crazy. Having Horus is great, but it doesn't replace my feelings for Mo at all - if anything, I miss him more, and still cry sometimes.

Horus is doing well - he has finally ventured out of the bathroom and is settling throughout the rest of the house. He is getting along fine with the other cats, but my dog has received a few swats on the nose for getting a little too close!

Having a feral cat is nothing like having a domesticated cat. It takes a ton more patience, because they don't trust humans, and have not been handled very much. We're just now working on kisses and picking him up, but other than that he's been great. It's quite a challenge, but I think the reward will be great.

I think my Mo would have been able to "show him the ropes", as Mo was the most accepting kitty there ever was. Perhaps he is still helping Horus along...