I just wanted to share this story to all my fellow grieving pet guardians, to let you know that while the grief doesn't go away, it does get better.

Two weeks ago I was sitting at my desk at work, thinking of the precious cat, Ashley, (a stray who had been badly abused) that I lost to cancer. I was feeling extreme guilt, because I didn't take him to the vet on time, and because I suspect the flea powder I used on him played a role in his sickness. I said a prayer: "Lord, my life no longer has purpose. I can't live with the guit, so please take the time I have left and give it to some human or animal who needs it."

I trudged home, crying, feeling like my grief and guilt would never end. But the first thing I saw when I arrived was a little kitten on the front porch. She looked around 8 weeks old. It was so adorably cute, with freckles all over her nose, and comically oversized front paws. She ran away when she saw me but as soon as my back was turned she would return. My neighbors said they thought she had been dropped off on this street and had been on her own for several days.

We captured her and took her to the vet. It turned out she was malnourished and had a parasite that had burrowed into her side. I fixed her a bed, then went to the corner store to get her food and cat litter. The song playing on the store's radio was "Try to Love Again."! (It sounds incredible but I swear it is true).

We named her Freckles, and she has brightened up the lives of everyone around her.

I still feel terrible about Ashley's hard life and his untimely death. But I can tell you that it is possible to move on and, yes, love again.

Hi Margo,
What a great gift you have received! I'm so glad that she found you, and you took her in and are caring for her. Sometimes our babies choose us, we don't choose them, but if our hearts are open, we bring them home.
I have been tossing the idea around of bringing home a new baby, but for a few reasons, now is not the time. I tell my Cosmo that if he sends me a baby, I'll bring that baby in, but as far as going to look for one, now just isn't the time.
I hope all goes well for you and your new baby, and I bet it helps, somewhat, to relieve your sadness. I still have many other babies in my home, but a new soul to love is always a great gift.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Good luck, and God Bless You Both.
Love,
Michelle

Margo,

That is a wonderful story! I am happy for you. I like Michelle have been tossing the idea of getting a comanion for Loki. I feel so horrible about leaving him home alone all day. But I know that now is not the appropriate time. But in your case Margo, your Ashley felt that the time was right. And you shouldnt feel bad about Ashley's death. Everone shares a sense of shoulda, coulda's.. myself included. Take comfort in the fact that your Ashley had a wonderful, loving home. Its something that many animal don't have an opportunity to experience.

Take Care,
Cynthia

Dear Margo,

I'm so glad you opened your home and your heart to Freckles. Perhaps Ashley had a paw in Freckles finding her way to your doorstep. Two months after Shiloh died I had a similar experience, a female dog had been dumped without her puppies. She somehow made her way into my yard and has now made her way into my heart. In January I ended up adopting another puppy who had been dumped on the side of the road, he too has taken up residence in my heart. Although my two new additions have by no means replaced my Shiloh, they've brightened my life. I very much believe that Shiloh had something to do with helping them find their way to me.

Good luck with Freckles! She such a lucky girl!
Hugs,
Kathleen