As you all know by now, Middy has only a few weeks left to live. ( By the way, LS Support, your avatar reminds me of my Middy's beautiful eyes and silky black fur...)
Now I'm extremely worried about my Golden Retreiver, Nikki.

Nikki is around 13 years old, and suffers from a number of things that come about with a Golden's age, such as:

Cateracs ( I cant spell it... her eyes are cloudy)
Deafness
Arthritis to the hips
Random absesses and cysts on her back and neck
Loss of teeth in the front of her mouth

I'm really worried that I'm going to lose two of my precious pets all before the start of my senior year in highschool... I'm having enough trouble as it is trying to finish my math courses ( I suffer from ADHD and Math Displasia), my modeling career is sufffering terribly, and now my family is greiving from the loss of Midnight very soon

What can I do if my Nikki is the next one to go so soon? Dad says we can't get another dog untill we move back to Ireland... and I don't want to wait that long... but I don't want my snickerdoodle (her Nickname) to go either! I mean she seems okay now, but what if it hits her like it hit Middy? So suddenly and unexpectedly? MIDNIGHT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO GO BEFORE NIKKI! SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN SO MUCH HEALTHIER THAN NIK-DOG! I don't understand!

And I'm really the only one that gives her physical affection. I pet her and give her kisses ( the others wont since Goldens tend to smell kind of bad even after baths...) And she really has been a great loyal companion to me
But I can't deal with 2 in a row! I'm scared for my sanity and the sanity of my family. I mean losing one pet is so painful, but 2 in a row? I guess im just a big scaredy cat.....

Im so sorry for my rambling... I just thought I would post my thoughts here. It's really helping me deal with my greif. This board is truely a blessing to me. It's where I go to let out my tears, and also my thoughts. It's where I can share and talk to people who are having the same traumatic experiences as I am. My prayers and love goes out to all of you. This is the hardest time in our lives right now, and we need to talk to people who understand. I don't know, but for some reason talking to my friends dosent help me. They just don't understand like you all do. They haven't gone through the trauma, or they just don't have the right words...

Also... What am I supposed to do about this horrible waiting with Middy? It tears out my heart and puts knots in my stomach everyday knowing that she'll be gone all too soon, and I can't help her... all I can do is wait. How can I ease our pain, waiting to put her down? I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with her and playing with her and loving and cuddling on her... but I start sobbing everytime i see her. It feels like it's the last day we get to spend together

I'm having terrible flu-like sypmtoms, loss of sleep, I haven't been able to eat in days ( usually I would be happy to lose the pounds since my modeling job calls for it, but since my career is... well...unstable right now... I don't care about food)
My twin sister had to leave work early ( remember, this is HER BABY... Middy gets her when she stays up to late saying "Cait, it's like for bed" and she sleeps on her feet, and my twin cries into her fur when she's sad.... Midnight is her only means of sanity) so my twin is having all of the same sypmtoms as I am. Twins share alot dont they.
I've been crying non-stop. I'm in such a bad emotional state, and Middy isn't even gone yet. How am I to deal when she goes?

I keep asking God why he has to make this so hard for us, and why he had to do this to our best friends? Why couldn't he just give us more time? Why does this have to happen to such good pets, and to such wonderful, caring, animal-loving people? Why is he taking all of our happiness away from us? All I can ask God Is "Why?" And all I've been able to say to him in my thoughts and prayers is "Please God...Please..."

I feel like I didn't love her enough.... more like, I didn't get enough time to love her as much as I wanted to... Does that make sense?

If only I could have suggested we have the x-rays done sooner... Middy wouldn't be so sick. It's all my fault...

The most important thing you can do right now for Middy is give her lots of love and cuddling...and it sounds like you're doing a great job of that.

Please try not to hold yourself responsible for Middy being so sick. The decisions that you and your family made about x-rays, etc. were based on the information you had. If you'd know she was so sick, I'm sure you would have done everything possible to help her get better.

It sounds like Nikki is getting old, but hopefully you'll have her for a while longer. From my own experience, I know how devastating it is to lose two furbabies relatively close together, but if it does happen, you will make it through. Try to keep positive for both Nikki and Middy. Enjoy each minute you have with both of them.

I hope this helps.
Hugs,
Kathleen

Thanks. We're putting Middy down today, so It's a really hard day for all of us

Kathleen is right. I lost my cat Odin last weekend and I have been going through a lot of personal guilt over his loss. If I had only brought him to the vet sooner scenario has been running through my head non-stop. My husband and I based his behavior and condition upon that of his brother Loki and last summer. We had a massive heat wave and we assumed his laid back additude was because of the heat, he was the same last year too. He still had a healthy appetite, and if that was different, we would have done something sooner. By the time we realized that there was a problem with him, it was too late. He was only three, and I keep telling myself that this shouldn't have happened. My recent obsession is Loki now, they were very close and I have been worried non-stop. I keep thinking i'm gonna lose him as well. In fact I have an appt for him tomorrow to ease my own worried mind.

Losing someone you love is never easy. I thank god for the time Odin gave me. Words cannot describe the happiness he and Loki brought into my life. Be strong for Middy, give her the love and attention she needs. She may be fine without another companion. It is important to give yourself and her time to greive as well.

I hope this helps you,
Cynthia

Thank you all for your support. We let her go today, and i feel better now that she's in peace.

My Middy is in peace now. I am so happy for her that she's not suffering anymore. Im still a little sad, but it's not unbearable now that she's not suffering.

She got buried with her favorite red ribbon, and a soft shirt that smelled like my sister. We're plating red Tulips on her grave because Red is her favorite colour And we're putting a little black cat statue on her grave

At the vet some lady tried to get me to take one of her cats, but while sobbing, I nicely turned her down

Im okay now. She's happy and in heaven with all of your pets and they are playing in a great big happy field with each other

WE LOVE YOU MIDDY!