I have spent all day today getting ready for this big party we are throwing for my grandmother tomorrow. I've kept busy all day... Now that I am finished, I'm sitting here looking around... and all I can think is.. he should be here. Freeway would SO be loving this house right now... both guest rooms are full, 15 people coming for the day/evening tomorrow... My grandma's dog, Homer, who Freeway hated but absolutely loved to show who was boss.. even though Homer is 160 pounds and Freeway was 20 pounds - Freeway was the boss!!!
My boy loved company.. he truly thought that everyone was there to see him and if he wasn't getting the attention that he rightfully deserved he let us know it. Sometimes to the point that it was utterly annoying, but oh I'd give anything for that annoyance now. He should be here.
I took Homer outside today and I stood there watching him... In my mind I truly expected Freeway to come running out of the trees at the back of the yard.. he loved to explore back there... I heard a squirrel rustle around in there and I honestly thought it was Freeway.. I'm tired of being here without him. 2 months is too long. 2 days was too long... 2 months is unbearable. I don't know how I will make it through tomorrow. I know he will be all that's on my mind. In the end, all that matters to me right now, is that he should be here. But he's not.

Jenn,
I am so sorry. Your post broke my heart... I am in tears as I type.
There is absolutely nothing I can say, only that I SO understand how you feel and my heart is right there with yours. I know the pain is so unbearable. My heart felt like it was ripped out of my chest the day Dixie was hit by a car right in front of me. One minute she was at my side, the next minute she was laying in the street, crying, unable to get up and bleeding out of her mouth. Like you, I am so lost, so sad, so lonely for my baby.
I wish I had the magic words, but I just want you to know that I understand and I care.
Dana

Jenn -- I do understand the "should be here" part. My very first dog was a guard dog, 100+ pounds of total devotion to me. When she went, I felt so all alone and unprotected.

Dixie's Mom -- Violence to our furbabies is so unjust, when all they do is love. I'll never forget the sound my dog was making as she was being strangled by that &$^$%^#* Husky. I'd have killed that dog without a qualm to save mine.

hugs to you both