6 am and the house is quiet. Only the second morning since my puppy died and I can't hold myself together. Mornings were Stewart and I's favorie time together. My husband would be getting ready for work and just before he was about to leave he would say "The puppy is up". With one eye open I would sleepily go into the living room and hear him barking and jumping in his crate. All of a sudden I would be overcome with joy and be wide awake. I would open his crate and he wouldn't know what to do ,he wanted to play but he had to go "potty" so bad. So after a while he would go to the door, quickly do his thing and want to go back in the house. Immediatly he would run right into my room and stand up trying to get on my bed (he was still to little to get up there by himself). I would go in there and put him on the bed with me.He would be so excited and I felt the same. We would play under the blankets and he would lick my face. He would try to nip but I was still teaching him "No biting" But at that time alone in the morning, I relalized how much Both of us loved being together. We woul play like that until one of the kids woke up(I have 3) and then off he would go to play with them. It's amazing how 6 weeks of mornings can become such a joyful habit. I miss him so much and this morning I feel like there is an empty space in my heart. All day I miss him but our mornings together are gon and I'm not sure if I will be ever to get over that..... Thank you for listening
Melanie

Dear Melanie,

I know how hard it is when the routine that you had changes. When Shiloh was alive we had a nightly routine...I'd feed the kitties and save a little bite of food for Shiloh...it took me several feedings to not leave that little bit in the can for her. After Shiloh died when I'd feed the kitties and look at that little bit left in the can and realize Shiloh wasn't there to eat it, I'd just fall apart.

These first days are the hardest. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hugs,
Kathleen

I'm sorry about your puppy. And your special playtime.

I find I'm changing my routines with my dog just a little in hopes that it'll make it easier to cope when the time comes. How's that for denial?

I know that losing them while they are still babies can almost be harder. Babies bring out the most tender part of you right away. I once found a stray kitten who I immediately loved (I was 16) and I hid him in my room because I knew my father would not allow me to keep him. He was so cute, and so little! I mean, he was really still a kitten. But after two days I saw that he couldn't go pee. I broke down and told dad, and dad took me to the vet after lecturing me. The vet said that the kitten should be put down because she was paralyzed in that area, and she would never be able to urinate on her own, and that would diminish her quality of life greatly. I only had this kitten for two days but I was completely bonded with her already and that was an uforgettable, unfair grief I felt for losing her. You really feel like a mother of a newborn, or something.
I'm so sorry for you, for you losing such a bright loving cutie...It must be awful.
My love goes out to you.