The following is a song by Avril Lavigne. She wrote it with Chantal Kreviazuk in memory of her grandfather. I haven't heard it since Freeway died, just haven't listened to the CD.. I put her CD and 2 others into the disc changer... and this one just started playing.. it's always made me sad, but now it rings a little too true.

Slipped Away

I miss you
I miss you so bad
I don't forget you
Oh it's so sad

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
Oh

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened you passed by

Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere you're not coming back

I miss you

Each and every line in this song rings true to me... I would do anything at all right now to hold him... snuggle with him.. love on him... I'm feeling guilty even for thinking it's been 7 weeks when really it's been 8!!! Have I shoved the pain down that much to not know how long it's been? Or, even worse, am I "getting over it"? I know that everything has been completely crazy around here and I'm scatter brained at the best of times. I'm pretty tired of being so tired and sad all the time... I'm even more tired of not having my closest friends to depend on... It is draining me to have to do for everyone else and be there for everyone else.. what about me??????? These people I've known for years and years MUST see it in my eyes or hear it in my voice and KNOW I'm still ripped apart...

*sighs* I'm rambling.. and I really should be sleeping, I have a very long day tomorrow.

Missing you, my boy... missing you....

Jenn,
Thanks for posting that song...today is 5 weeks without my Duke and I don't feel any better than before. I cried last night because we had a horrible thunderstorm here...Duke was so afraid of thunderstorms, he would always go hide in the walk-in closet in the guest room...we always kept that door open for him, he felt safe there. His toys, bone and his pillow are in there now. Occassionally, our cat Max would sit with Duke in the closet during storms, and last night Max was sitting in the closet, sniffing Duke's bone during the storm. It broke my heart.

I know you miss your baby, I miss mine too. You can get throught this...WE can get through this.

--Angela

Jenn,
When no one else is there for you, remember we're here for you. Try to be gentle and easy on yourself. Take care of yourself.
Love,
Helena