Our beautiful himalayan, Kizzy, died one week ago tonight. He had just turned 12 the week before and I kept telling my husband that Kiz was scaring me because he wouldn't leave my side...like he was trying to say goodbye. Now I know he was..to everyone...me, my husband and our 4 yr old daughter. Laying on us, purring, every time we sat still for more than a second. Oh, when I think of the times I set him down to go do something I just cringe. If I could just hold him one more time. I had just taken our 2 other boys to be neutered 2 weeks ago and I asked my husband if he thought it was safe to make an appointment to have Kizzy's teeth cleaned. We agreed that we'd skip it and not take the chance. And then last Wednesday my husband called me with a severe kidney stone attack (he hasn't had one for 4 yrs)...he works away during the week and he drove home so we could see the doctor the next day. The stone passed and Thursday we went to the doctor and ended up having a wonderful day just driving around and going out to eat. When we came home that night we decided to clip Kizzy's hair because of the heat...and it always perks him up in the summer to have his new hair-do. But as he started to clip we saw that Kizzy wasn't his normal self...just laying there letting my husband clip him without even a flick of his tail. We decided to give him a quick bath and after just a few minutes he had a heart attack in my husband's arms....he stayed with us for about 45 minutes...while I went hysterical..not believing what I was seeing. He was in my arms as he passed and I was in disbelief. I was so thankful that my husband was home, but I also feel immense guilt because I wonder if we just hadn't bathed him...he'd still be with us. I've talked to others who said that it was just his and if all it took was a bath for his heart to give...then it would've happened soon anyway. I am driving my crazy with the what-ifs. I'm a what-if person anyway.....so this is just too much. I having trouble dealing with how final death is...he was here...and then gone....no phone call, money, prayer, hope or work can bring him back.
Kizzy was given to us as a gift from an angel of a breeder 12 yrs ago right before our wedding. Next week I'm turning 31 and we got Kizzy when I was 19. He has been with us through so much....I don't know how to deal with not having him here. I dread the mornings...because for a few seconds I wonder why he's not beside me. He traveled with us and was in almost every state in the US.
Kizzy was my first pet.....ever. And I've never lost anyone close to me...so this has been very traumatic for me. My husband breaks my heart when I hear him talk about Kizzy...but it helps to know we're in this together.
Well, I could go on forever...but I should stop now and try to get some sleep. I haven't been sleeping or eating right for a week........when does it get any easier????
Kelly
Full Version: Our Kizzy Is Gone
Hi sweet Kelly,
I really wish I had the magic words right now to take away the pain and grief I know you feel, but there just aren't any. Time is truly the only thing that helps, and it is such a cliche'. What a special baby Kizzy is and how beautiful, too. I can only empathize with your pain. This may not help you now, but how lucky you were to have him for 12 years, and that he was able to pass on at home. Some of us here at LS, have had our babies for less time, and had to make the decision on when to end their suffering. No matter how we lose them, there is always guilt.
As for me, 3 days ago I put up my post of my 2 months without my Cosmo, and I was experiencing alot of guilt and sadness that day, but the replies have helped me to find some comfort in my decision. Actually, there is another poster on here, that I will not name, and reading about the ordeal her and her baby are going through, actually led me to the first real Peace that I have felt in my decision to have Cosmo put down. I know, now, that I did the right thing.
Thank God for you that Kizzy was able to go without you having to choose the time, his work here must have been done, and he was called "home". Where Kizzy is now, is far better than we can imagine, and he is at Peace. I pray that you will soon find Peace also, but it does take alot of time. We are all so different, that it is hard to say just how much time.
After 2 months without my Mo, I still do not eat and sleep right, even though I truly believe everything I am telling you. I know that the thought of you feeling this way for 2 months and more, must be disheartening, but each day has gotten a little better, as it will with you. I still cannot bring myself to write a tribute, which I believe is another step towards healing the loss, but I hope that I can soon.
Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers as you try to go on with the pain you feel, and that someday soon, you will feel the intensity of your grief lessen.
Love,
Michelle
I really wish I had the magic words right now to take away the pain and grief I know you feel, but there just aren't any. Time is truly the only thing that helps, and it is such a cliche'. What a special baby Kizzy is and how beautiful, too. I can only empathize with your pain. This may not help you now, but how lucky you were to have him for 12 years, and that he was able to pass on at home. Some of us here at LS, have had our babies for less time, and had to make the decision on when to end their suffering. No matter how we lose them, there is always guilt.
As for me, 3 days ago I put up my post of my 2 months without my Cosmo, and I was experiencing alot of guilt and sadness that day, but the replies have helped me to find some comfort in my decision. Actually, there is another poster on here, that I will not name, and reading about the ordeal her and her baby are going through, actually led me to the first real Peace that I have felt in my decision to have Cosmo put down. I know, now, that I did the right thing.
Thank God for you that Kizzy was able to go without you having to choose the time, his work here must have been done, and he was called "home". Where Kizzy is now, is far better than we can imagine, and he is at Peace. I pray that you will soon find Peace also, but it does take alot of time. We are all so different, that it is hard to say just how much time.
After 2 months without my Mo, I still do not eat and sleep right, even though I truly believe everything I am telling you. I know that the thought of you feeling this way for 2 months and more, must be disheartening, but each day has gotten a little better, as it will with you. I still cannot bring myself to write a tribute, which I believe is another step towards healing the loss, but I hope that I can soon.
Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers as you try to go on with the pain you feel, and that someday soon, you will feel the intensity of your grief lessen.
Love,
Michelle
{{{{Kelly}}}}}
OMGoodness, I'm so sorry about your beautiful Kizzy. I'm so happy your husband was with you when Kizzy passed. He died in the arms of people who love him so much.
I lost My Jack 16 days ago and it's still *very* very hard. Some days are better than others, but the one thing I hold dear is that I have so many wonderful memories of Jack and no one can take those away from me. Your Kizzy was obviously a very cherished member of your family who was loved so, so much. He was a very lucky boy to have you...
I'm so sorry and when you need someone to talk to, please come here. I've found this board and the wonderful, caring people here to be such comfort when I'm feeling my most down.
Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve and feel sad and also allow yourself to remember the little things about Kizzy.
Dawn
OMGoodness, I'm so sorry about your beautiful Kizzy. I'm so happy your husband was with you when Kizzy passed. He died in the arms of people who love him so much.
I lost My Jack 16 days ago and it's still *very* very hard. Some days are better than others, but the one thing I hold dear is that I have so many wonderful memories of Jack and no one can take those away from me. Your Kizzy was obviously a very cherished member of your family who was loved so, so much. He was a very lucky boy to have you...
I'm so sorry and when you need someone to talk to, please come here. I've found this board and the wonderful, caring people here to be such comfort when I'm feeling my most down.
Take care of yourself and allow yourself to grieve and feel sad and also allow yourself to remember the little things about Kizzy.
Dawn
Kelly! My heart goes out to you in this time of grief. I know it is just about the most painful thing you've ever been through. 
I remember that feeling well ! I thought of the millions of times I had been too busy for an extra snuggle, etc. ..But please remember Kelly that you're only human, and humans aren't perfect. Kizzy didn't expect you to be some superwoman. He was blessed to have as perfect a Mom as there could be, though.
He felt your love---even toward the end, during his bath. He already knew it was his time, even days before. He held on for as long as he could, in order to be with you (and your husband... I guess there's a silver lining to kidney stones; he and Kizzy got to share a little more time together). The fur trimming, the bath---everything---was all done out of love. 
I know. I remember feeling panicked, that I couldn't hold my Little Girl again... in my physical arms. But then I realized that she's a spirit, so she truly was still with me, and that I'd be fully reunited with her when it was my time to pass on and I became a spirit too.
Please take care of yourself in whatever ways help the most. For me, it was living at this site, watching movies, talking only with those who understood this intense type of grief... You will heal. Kizzy is fine. He really is.
Keep in touch.
Much love and comfort,
Kathy
QUOTE
Oh, when I think of the times I set him down to go do something I just cringe. If I could just hold him one more time.
I remember that feeling well ! I thought of the millions of times I had been too busy for an extra snuggle, etc. ..But please remember Kelly that you're only human, and humans aren't perfect. Kizzy didn't expect you to be some superwoman. He was blessed to have as perfect a Mom as there could be, though.
He felt your love---even toward the end, during his bath. He already knew it was his time, even days before. He held on for as long as he could, in order to be with you (and your husband... I guess there's a silver lining to kidney stones; he and Kizzy got to share a little more time together). The fur trimming, the bath---everything---was all done out of love. QUOTE
I having trouble dealing with how final death is...he was here...and then gone....no phone call, money, prayer, hope or work can bring him back.
I know. I remember feeling panicked, that I couldn't hold my Little Girl again... in my physical arms. But then I realized that she's a spirit, so she truly was still with me, and that I'd be fully reunited with her when it was my time to pass on and I became a spirit too. Please take care of yourself in whatever ways help the most. For me, it was living at this site, watching movies, talking only with those who understood this intense type of grief... You will heal. Kizzy is fine. He really is.
Keep in touch.
Much love and comfort,
Kathy
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