As some of you know, we lost our beautiful 11 year-old black lab, Jack on July 6th due to illness. He had been ill for about 1.5 months and we knew he wouldnt recover.

During his illness, my husband and I discussed if we'd ever get another dog, we decided we are very much dog people and love labs soooo much. We said that "eventually" we'd get a white/yellow lab, smaller than Jack (he was over 100 pds), no puppies and we'd get a rescue.

Well...after peeking at the Lab Rescue web-site we came across the "perfect" dog for us. He's a 40-50 pound white lab who is around 2-3 (they're not sure). He's got a great personality and fit everything we said we wanted in a dog. We went to the foster-parents home yesterday to see him and completely fell in love with him and he seemed to really like us.

I had already scheduled a home visit with a Lab Rescue representative for tomorrow for what I thought would be around a 6-month process...but she said we're sure to be approved and if we want, we can have this guy and even do a foster with intent to adopt for a week or two.

My problem is that I'm still very much grieving over loosing Jack. My heart and emotions still feel so raw, It's only been 12 days and I'm not sure I feel completely ready to bring another dog into the home. I'm so conflicted though because this other guy really is everything we wanted. I feel I'm dishonoring Jack by bringing another guy into the home already, like he was so easily replaced (soooo not true).

I know there is never an exact answer as to when the time is right, but my goodness...only 3 weeks? Is this wrong?

I could really use some guidance and opinions...can you guys help? You can be brutally honest with me, I can take it. I just need opinions for those that have been there.

Thanks, Dawn

P.S. wanted to add that both my husband and 4 year-old son fell in love with the yellow-guy and my husband thinks we should bring him home. I'm really the only one with reservations.

Dear Dawn,

We rescued Lucy just a few weeks after losing Allie. Of course we were going to "just look" at dogs but of course we found one that we fell in love with. If your family is ready for him and he's just what you wanted, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. In fact, I think it's exactly what Jack would have wanted! I feel like it's actually a testament to how much you love Jack, that you would want another dog in the house so soon. And the excitement of a new dog just may take some of the sting away of losing your beloved friend. Anything to take away the pain, I'm all for. Of course you may feel a little sad that it's not Jack, but soon a new dog will settle in and begin to bond with you, and it will be as though he's always been a part of the family. You will begin, slowly but surely, to love him as much as you love Jack. Jack could never be replaced and will always hold a special place in your heart no matter what, but each pet plays such an important role in a family.

After Allie died I came to the conclusion that it's so important for dog owners to go into the whole experience preparing themselves for the fact that this pet will most likely die in their lifetime. And a death, although it will always be heart-wrenching when it happens, can be looked at as an opportunity to provide a much-needed home for another wonderful dog. If Allie hadn't died we would have never rescued Lucy, and she really needed us. I will always miss Allie, but I am realizing how loving and sweet Lucy is too.

I pray that you can be at peace with your decision. Please keep us updated!

Love,
Jenny

Hi:

Just wanted to say that I read your post, and went waaayyy back into the archives and found a post that might be of help..........(from March 17, 2004)....
"Shadded Dreams" started it......

The TOPIC IS:
When Is The Right Time?
for a new pet?

I hope that it is of help................



I believe that people who have a love of animals HAVE A HUGE, HUGE HEART, and therefore.....the capacity to love again, very soon after.......

God Bless You!!

Love, Denise

Hi Dawn,
I say, go for it!! I lost my precious Dixie to a tragic accident on July 5th. July 8th, our new dog, Jake, came home with us! He was a rescue from the animal shelter... a 4 year old terrier mix that had been in the pound for TWO MONTHS. I felt so bad for him for being there so long that I picked him!
My situation is a little different from yours. We had two dogs, Dixie and Frances, and when Dixie was taken from us, the sadness in Frances was too much to bear. Her being sad made ME even more sad. I thought she needed a new friend. Well, so far, they haven't bonded (she ignores him), but I am confident that they will grow closer with time. Jake will NEVER EVER replace Dixie, NEVER. I am still grieving very much for her. I would give my arm and a leg to have her back. The only bright side to her death, I guess, is that another dog destined for euthanasia got a second chance at life. I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you are disrespecting Jack by getting another dog. I felt the same way, like Dixie might think that I could replace her so quickly with any ole dog. But I know that that is not true. No way, no how. Unfortunately, we can't undo the past or we would. I'm sure you'd give anything to have your precious Jack back, too. But we can't. But we CAN give a new life to another animal that desperately needs us. Go for it! And best of luck to you.
Dana

Hi, Dawn...
I'm with Dana on this one and second her 'GO FOR IT!' Jack left such a huge, huge hole in your home, and that hole NEEDS to be filled to bring joy back into your house. But you aren't 'replacing' Jack (as if!). By getting another dog, you are paying tribute to him: you're honoring him in the best of ways.
Anyone who is British on the board will no doubt remember Johnny Morris: he was an animal expert on TV in the '60s and '70s and had a kid's show called 'Animal Magic'. He did an episode on bereavement, and said that - at the end of the day - the highest compliment you can pay to your deceased pet is to get another pet, because you're showing your lost pet how much you treasured them and their company and that your life isn't the same without them.

But of course, the time has to be right for you. But you know what? You gave yourself away a bit in your post, Dawn, when you said that you had 'fallen in love' with this new little guy. I think this little fella has already wormed his way into your heart...and that is EXACTLY what Jack would have wanted. I am CONVINCED that if Jack could come back for an hour and actually speak, he'd say: 'Go for it, Mom! This little guy needs a home, he needs love - I'M okay now - I'll always be with you in spirit watching over you....but come on! This little lab is my homie....so give him a home!'

I kind of sense that the only thing stopping you is your loyalty towards Jack. But remember...by bringing a new little life into your home, you aren't being disloyal to Jack's memory. In fact, the OPPOSITE is true:

This new lab won't be Jack's 'replacement'.
He'll be Jack's 'legacy'.

Follow your heart, Dawn...it'll lead you to the right place. When the time's right...it'll be right.

Love and hugs,
Amanda

dawn
i'm going through exactly the same agonies as youa re - I lost my beloved Sgith, 4 weeks ago tomorrow and the pain is as fresh now as it was then. But my boys are lost withouttheir wee pal and the holidays stretch long without him - my mum isses him so much too as he was a great guard dog for her . we can never ever, replace my wee man - he qwas a wee dog with a HUGE character . But i too feel that we have so much love to offer another wee fellow somewhere . I know he/she will be a completely different dog but will I compare him/her to Sgith all the time - wishing it was him back again? we are all doggy people and I feel we can offer a wee pal a great home - is it wrong to feel that? Do we look for a pup or do we try to find a doggy a wee bitty older? Just dont know. i'm hoping that if we go to the animal aid shleter, a wee pal will choose us and make the decision for us.
Let us know how you get on Dawn - sounds like you've found another great wee pal.
Fiona

We lost our baby 4 weeks ago this Wednesday and our hearts still ache with so much pain. We know that we need to give our love to another dog, as a tribute to our Duke. We will have our little black and tan doberman puppy in 3-4 weeks. Will keep you all posted. When you are ready to adopt another baby, you will know.

--Angela

Angela...that's such great news about your new puppy! He's a VERY lucky little lad to have you guys as parents.
Don't forget to post photos of your new arrival!
Amanda ***