Two weeks ago we found out my 21 yr old cat Sparky had cancer (oral tumor)..my heart was broken that day, and I think it always will be. We lost our Kelly in December who was also 21..somehow I think God wants them to be together again. It is the most devastating news to know that your beloved friend is going to die, and all you can do is sit and watch and pray that the day never comes. He fought a hard battle, and I am so proud of him..I love him so much it's killing me..all I can think of is never seeing him again or hearing his sweet meow (he loves to talk to me)..that is probably the worst thing..the quiet and loneliness after losing your pet. I hate to be the one to make the final decision, but I know I can't let him suffer anymore just for me..I love him too much. It's just so hard and I pray I can make it through..all your prayers and thoughts are greatly appreciated..Amy & Sparky in California..

Dear Amy: I am so sad and I know how you are feeling at this time. Reading your post was heartbreaking and I feel awful & extremely sad.
Our Ernestine (tortie calico) was put to sleep on February 7th, 2004, and it was a horrible, awful day....but, we (Ben & I) knew that we could not keep Ernie on this earth one day longer, for she was suffering, losing weight, not eating, retching, etc..., etc.
I had prayed that the Good Lord would've taken her, but that was not to be.. Someone in the forum told me, "you had to take on Ernie's pain so that she could be out of pain." How very true.
I truly believe that your Kelly will be all set to receive your beloved Sparky, and they will be over Rainbow Bridge, together once again..... I believe that when it is my time to depart from this world, I will pass over, but, I'll make a stop at Rainbow bridge and Ernestine, and all my other beautiful furbabies that went before her, will be there to greet me.
Ernestine was going to be 20 years old in April. I was 23 when I got her and we became a family. Now I'm 43; Ben & I are a couple, and, we have SO MANY BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES OF OUR GIRL. Though she is not physically here with us, she IS HERE!!!! I can feel her, I can sense her...weird enough, but sometimes I hear a noise in the closet, and since she loved to go in there, it's almost as if she's here.
I will pray for you, and pray that you find some comfort and peace in knowing this decision is what is best for your baby. It is brave, very brave what you are doing, and it does stink, and I know you feel sad, and it hurts like hell.

Please know Amy, that this forum is a place where you can cry your heart out, say anything, and everyone knows how you feel; they will respond with kindness & will not judge, for everyone here that I have "met" has been so loving......
This forum has "taken over" my journal writing...I'd rather write in here & have people respond to me, who understand, and have gone through, and are going through what I have.
I believe as you do, that Kelly wants Sparky so that they can be together again & run amongst the clouds where everything is beautiful & they are healthy again, and there is no pain for our beautiful furbabies.
God Bless You...... You are in my thoughts!!!
Love, Denise

Dear Amy

I know only too well what you are feeling tonight and am wondering how the hell I made it through the last year, you see we lost our Sadie on Dec 6th 2002 and we finally got together the courage to have Jude put to sleep on March 6th 2003.

Its because you love Sparky too much that you are the one making the decision – be honest you would no way let anyone else make that decision – no one else loves him enough.

I will light a candle and pray for you although I know you will make it through because you know that Kelly is there helping you and waiting to help Sparky.

The only advice I can give you for tomorrow is don’t let his body go too quickly take as long as you need to say goodbye. I'm sorry I know that’s something that you don’t need to hear right now but its one of the regrets that I still have today.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow and send you loving healing while Sparky makes his carefree and pain free journey to Rainbow Bridge.

Love Sue

Dear Amy,

I had to put my dog, Megan, to sleep. It was one of the hardest things I've hever done. But as hard as it was, I would not think twice about doing it again. She was in a lot of pain and not happy any more in "this life" and she needed to be set free of her hurting body. She was only 5 and an incredible dog, which only made it harder for me(...it's never easy...even after 20 years right Denise). I have never had to do this before, Megan and Molly are my first pets (as an adult) and I did not know what to expect. But I have a great vet and the experience was very peaceful. Megan passed on after having a turkey snack (she never got people food) and with her head in my lap. We sat like we had sat a million times while watching TV, me reading a book, or me nursing my babies. I told her how much I loved her and most importantly I thanked her for sharing her life with ME. She completely picked me out as her "person" when I was looking at her and her litter mates. It was if she knew that she was going to be a sick dog and that she needed someone like me. She was an in your face you are going to love me dammit kind of dog and she completely stole my heart. I miss her more than words can say but I do know that I would not wish her back here to live in the pain that she was just so I could keep her with me.

I hope that your vet is as kind and compassionate as mine. Don't rush anything tomorrow, take your time, and like Sue said don't rush your goodbye. I'm sorry you have to go through this and I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.

Tracey

Dear Amy,

My heart is breaking for you today. What you are doing is the most loving and thoughtful thing you could ever do for your little one. In the days ahead when the guilt comes (and it will come) always remember that what you did what was the best for Sparky. I truely wish that you did not have to go through this ... it is hard and painful. Everyone here is right ... take your time saying goodbye ... do not let anyone rush you or make you feel that you are holding them up. This last time is yours and yours alone with Sparky. Someday you will be together again and Sparky will be the guy that you remember before he got sick.

My hugs and thoughts are with you today ...

Hugs,
Beth

Hello Everyone,

First, I want to thank all of you for your kind thoughts and prayers..I truly do appreciate them. Last night was really hard for me, and it was the longest night of my life knowing that I only had a few hours left with my baby. This morning was the hardest though..I couldn't go to have it done so my boyfriend and Dad went with my baby..I said goodbye and told him how much I loved him and it was the most heart wrenching pain I have ever known to see them close the door and walk away knowing I would never see him again. I thought I was going to lose my mind I was so filled with grief and pain. Right now I am feeling a bit numb..I'm not sure if I feel peace or if I am just in shock right now..but I have been living this the past 2 weeks knowing this day was coming, and seeing him in so much pain was killing me..I think I know my baby is ok now and he's with his brother up in heaven playing and running and doing their favorite things..that's what will keep me going. God knows I will miss him forever, but I know he is ok now. I am sure things will get worse before they get better, but I know that is part of the healing process. Thanks to all of you for your messages..and I am truly sorry for all of your losses as well. It's good to be with people who know your pain.
Hugs to All,
Amy